“I—”
“I don’t want to hear it.” Holding up her hand, she took a deep breath and looked me in the eyes. “I just want you to listen to me. I’ve loved you my whole life as so many things and that’s never going to change. What will, is how I love you from here on out. Today, tomorrow, ten years from now. Whether you like it or not, you have tattooed yourself into my life and that will never be removed even if you try convincing me that we’re better off not pursuing this. Those memories you’re afraid of? They’re part of our story. They might even make the story we’re writing. It shows that people change. Feelings change. And that it’s okay for that to happen.”
I didn’t have a response for her that she’d accept, and she knew it. Looking at me for a moment longer, she dipped her chin and stuffed her hands in the pockets of her father’s jacket.
The words I found were ones that crushed her. She didn’t try to hide it. “I’m trying to protect you, Della. I’ve always done that. I don’t expect you to understand why I’m doing this, why I’m asking you to give me some time to figure things out, but just know that I’m doing it for you. Eventually, for us.”
Her throat bobbed as she blinked at me, completely silent. There was no recognition, no acceptance of my words. I wanted to beg her to believe me—in me. But I couldn’t make her. I needed it to be on her own accord.
I dipped down and brushed a kiss against her cheek, then a brief one against her lips. She didn’t return it. Instead, she began walking away from me with hollowed eyes.
I called out, “I haven’t seen you wear that jacket in a while.”
Her eyes went to the worn leather. “It comforts me when I need it most.” Voice thick, but context thicker, all I could do was nod and watch her walk away.
I needed her, that much I knew.
More than she needed me, in fact.
And that was comforting—the notion an acceptance like my own leather jacket wrapped around the toughest part of me.
Della would be okay.
Chapter Thirteen
Della
Something smelled good when I closed the large front door behind me and heard paws click-clacking toward me at a fast pace. When I saw Ramsay, a huge smile came over my face. Dropping my things, I bent down and stroked his soft fur as he wiggled his back end and began licking my hand.
“In the kitchen,” Theo called.
I picked up my bag and sketchpad before walking toward his voice, my mouth watering over the decadent smells coming from whatever he was cooking.
“Hey,” he greeted, wiping his hands on a dish towel before walking over to me. I was surprised when he pecked my lips and grabbed my bag, setting it down on the island. “Want something to drink?”
He’d called me this morning asking if I wanted to come to his place for dinner instead of meeting for lunch. At first, I’d been disappointed. I felt bad about what had happened yesterday, but he didn’t seem to be thinking about it. I, on the other hand, couldn’t stop. I knew he didn’t mean to upset me, that he had things he wanted to figure out, but it felt like he was asking for space and that was the last thing I wanted. It was selfish and I didn’t care. I wanted Theo West. Not just for one night. For good.
“I can get something myself,” I answered, walking over to the cabinet that I knew his glasses were in. I filled it with ice water and took a sip before looking around him to see what was on the stove. “Are you making Thai?”
“It’s your favorite.”
The flutters kicked in instantly, swarming up in my chest and doing a happy dance. I tried hiding my smile behind my glass as I drank, but he saw it and winked.
“Sweet chili Thai pork, to be specific.” He lifted the lid to the large pot and let me peer into the rice, pork, onion, and bok choy combo that had a hint of soy sauce mixed in.
“Smells delicious.”
“Needed to prove my skills.”
I rolled my eyes as I hopped up onto the counter beside the fridge and watched him. “You said you wanted to talk yesterday.”
“I want to talk about a lot of things,” he said, stirring dinner before covering it again and turning to me. “But first I want to know how your day was. You sounded tired when we talked earlier.”
Staring down at my water, I fingered the little droplets of condensation gliding down the side. “I didn’t sleep well last night. I felt bad about our argument.”
He stepped up to me, spreading my legs slightly so his body could fit between them. “You have no reason to feel bad. What you said was true.”
Wetting my bottom lip, I met his eyes. “I don’t want this to stop because of other people. If I’m supposed to know my self-worth, I need to know that I’m worthy of getting the things I want regardless of what others think. That means you, Theo. I want you and I want people to know that.” Before he could say anything like I knew he was about to, I held up my hand. “It isn’t that I don’t understand where you’re coming from. I’m the young naïve girl in people’s eyes. You’re the older man who could have anybody he wants. I may not be in your shoes, but I’d like to think we’re in this together. So, if you’re going to stand there and tell me that you don’t think this is appropriate, that we’re not appropriate, then you’re wrong.”
An eyebrow quirked. “Am I, now?”
I nodded once. “Yes. You never crossed a line when I was younger. If anything, I crossed lines. I crushed on you and made no real effort
