The best my stupid mind could come up with was, “Why would a man be calling you all hours of the night?” Turned out that was the wrong thing to say.
“Why would a woman be calling me, Della?” That time, his tone was hard. Offended. I wasn’t sure how to respond, only making the tendons in his neck strain. “I don’t even know why you’d think that. Flamell is somebody I’m working with on something important. That’s all.”
I sighed. “I didn’t think it was a woman, I…”
He waited, jaw ticking.
My cheeks were on fire. “I don’t know what to say, Theo. I swear I didn’t mean to upset you, but it isn’t like we’ve discussed this. For once, I’m using my brain by not assuming anything.”
Again. The wrong thing to say. If steam could physically blow out of people’s ears, it would definitely be coming out of Theo’s. “If I didn’t have somewhere to be, I’d tell you exactly what my thoughts are on what we haven’t ‘discussed’ before now.”
I blinked.
He took another step forward until there was barely any room between our bodies. “I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. How smart, kind, and beautiful you are on the inside and out. I really fucking wish…” Teeth grinding, he shook his head. “I don’t have time right now. Tonight.”
Tonight? “Theo, maybe we should—”
“Not now, Della.”
Was he kidding me? He was about to say something that would probably change everything, and he didn’t want to talk about it now? “What is so important you can’t stay here and discuss this now with me? What’s more important than finally talking about u—”
“It’s complicated, Della! Christ.” He swiped a palm through his hair. “Don’t act like I haven’t been here for you, haven’t been showing you what all of this is to me. If I had women calling, I wouldn’t be sleeping on your goddamn couch and waking up with a raging fucking boner and a knot in my shoulders the size of Texas.”
Flinching, I knew he was right. Sort of. It wasn’t like Theo ever had a lot of women calling him before. In fact, I didn’t know of any that really bothered him. I wasn’t naïve enough not to think that meant he didn’t have…company when he needed it. That was beyond the point. He was upset, so was I. Everything I was trying to say was making it worse.
“Fine.” My voice cracked as I stepped back, putting a sliver of space between us. “Fine. Okay. Go have your meeting with Flamell.”
He tipped his head back and sighed at the ceiling, swiping his palms down his face. “I know I can be an asshole, but I’m not trying to be. It’s not that I don’t want to clear the air between us, I need to handle this first.”
I nodded.
Pinning me with his eyes again, he said, “I mean it, Della. I’m not saying that this is more important than you. Understand?”
Even though I didn’t like the nature of his tone, how condescending it felt, I nodded. Again. What else could I do? Theo had never lied to me before, so why would he now? He hadn’t made me feel like I wasn’t important before, so there was no point to assume that was what was happening. “Understood.”
He watched me for too long, another sigh escaping him nearly inaudibly, before he shook his head and pulled me into his body. “I’ll see you tonight, okay?” His lips pressed against the crown of my skull as my arms wrapped around his waist in a tight hug.
I wanted to ask him to stay, wanted to beg him to give me something. I did neither. I nodded into his chest, breathed in his scent, and stepped back to watch him leave.
When the door clicked closed behind him, I dropped onto the couch and stared at the blank TV screen. As soon as I turned my phone back on a few minutes later, there was a text waiting.
Theo: I already miss you.
Divers was loud when I entered, searching for the face that had called me in tears too early for a bar rescue. Tugging my father’s leather jacket tighter around the maxi dress I’d thrown on quickly, I found the head of raven black hair sitting at the corner of the bar counter.
“Kat?” She turned her head instantly, cheeks damp and eyes bloodshot. Was she…? “I didn’t mean to take so long. Are you okay?”
She blinked at me. “You came.” Her voice was raspy, hoarse, like she’d been crying for a while. Taking the stool beside her, I slid down as the bartender came over with caution in his eyes.
“Of course, I did.” I shook my head when the bartender asked if I wanted something to drink. Then, on second thought, said, “Water?” When he set it down in front of me, I smiled and slid it to Katrina. She murmured something, not touching the cold glass.
“What’s wrong?” I asked her, hoping she’d meet my eyes. When she didn’t, I knew it was something big. “Kat?”
Her head dipped down—the bright eyeshadow painted on her lids the same extravagant color as normal but nowhere near as comforting as it should have been. She had eyeliner smudged under her bottom lashes, making my frown deepen as I examined her paled expression. “I messed up, Della. Real bad.”
“How?”
When she finally looked up, there was guilt weighing down her eyes. It made me lock up, my stomach heavy like I was expecting the worst. My father gave me the same look once. It was the day he was sentenced, right before they took him away for good. Right to his death. He’d looked at me, his eyes burdened, bittersweet emotion in his rugged smile, and said, “I love you, Adele. Remember that.”
“How, Kat?” I repeated, voice breaking, a knot of nerves hanging onto each letter that passed my lips.
Her hands drifted from
