"Definitely,” I said. “I'm the oldest, but the second oldest are twins, and they recently joined the Bureau too. They're fraternal, Jessie and Jordan, and between them they have way too much energy. I was excited for them to start at the Bureau—until I realized they were gonna be in my department. It makes sense, I guess—I just wasn't ready to see them in action this soon, and I definitely wasn’t expecting them to become Hellraisers." At Luke’s confused expression, I explained: "At the Chicago Bureau, that’s what the monster-hunting department is called. We get all the hotshots and troublemakers. It's a perfect nickname, and the twins fit right in. Honestly, it's been a bit of a problem for me, watching them fight."
The twins hadn’t been with us on the Valentine’s Day mission. Hindley had wanted to put them on my team, but I’d flatly refused. I was thankful for that… since otherwise they would’ve witnessed my weird moment in battle and never let me live it down. I’d screamed at Kane, but everyone thought I’d been yelling at them while freezing like an amateur on the back of the beast. I hadn’t taken my kill.
The waitress stopped by as I talked and dropped off our basket of mozzarella sticks. Before I could finish my sentence, Luke snagged four for himself and left me with two. I might as well have disappeared altogether.
"Gotta get my protein gains," he bragged as I restrained myself from snatching my snacks out of his greasy hands, deciding not to mention the fact that the protein value of our appetizer left much to be desired. After all, Luke had no idea how important mozzarella sticks were to the continuation of this date. "Oh, you were saying something? Go on."
How kind he was, to invite me to finish my own story. I stole the last two sticks without apology and muttered something about it being hard to watch my siblings before lapsing into irritated silence. Between this and his vague complaints about the government while we waited to be seated, I was almost done.
"I completely understand. It's like when I spot my younger brother at the gym," Luke insisted. I stared at him, disappointed by the universe’s timely reminder that someone could be gruffly handsome and also an utter idiot. I let him gab despite the fact that being a gym rat with his younger brother was nothing like watching the twins grow into their own combat experience by joining the Bureau—which he might’ve figured out, if he’d bothered to listen. As Luke talked, he absently rolled the sleeves of his shirt up, showing off a tattoo of a glock. Okay, my mind was already starting to wander.
Unfortunately, it wandered back to something I’d hoped never to experience again.
"I wonder how long I've been here," Kane muttered. It sounded like he was whispering in my ear. I stiffened, fried cheese dangling from my mouth. Why was I hearing his voice again? It had to be in my head, since Luke simply droned on.
My mind is trying to torture me. Kane didn't sound panicked now; his low voice was thoughtful. "These plants go on forever. I've never seen ones like these before."
As Luke explained the difficulties of besting his personal deadlift, I reasoned with myself. Perhaps I was losing my sanity. Or perhaps this date was so bad, my brain had revolted and started hallucinating to escape from reality.
Was it really Kane? If so, he must have been contacting me through some kind of magic. I’d heard him during the battle, and now, I was hearing him as if he was calling on a phone to chat about the strange place he was in. Plants he’s never seen before, and they go on forever… Did that mean he was in the Leftovers, or the Immortal Plane? Should I try to talk back to him? No, that didn’t work last time.
I shivered involuntarily. If I let my brain carry me into these fantasies, I was going to get nowhere. I couldn't let my mind trick me like this.
And yet, his voice was there. It was the Kane I'd grown to care about. As if he’d never left me during the meld, only to vanish forever.
"I'm worried about the kids," Kane said softly. "How long was I out?"
I couldn't hold back the snort from the question. That was rich. I knew it had already been nine weeks, because it seemed like every day reminded me he wasn't here. Walking into the mess hall or training rooms, I still expected to see him. A part of me knew that he probably would’ve stayed in the Immortal Plane rather than help the Bureau, but still… For some of the wildest months I’d ever experienced, he’d been there every day, one of the few constants in my life. I missed the sound of his real voice in my ears.
The voice faded, and suddenly, all I could hear was Luke's endless story and the soft sound of pop music over the restaurant's speaker system. Luke hadn't noticed me spacing out at all. And at this point, even if he had, I was sure that I didn't care anymore.
I didn't know what had happened to Kane, but I remembered what had happened right before. I’d been with him on the invasion of the soul farms during the attack on Itzarriol; we’d been leading a group of rescued harvesters to the river when the meld hit. I could almost feel the ghostly touch of the harvester kids as they clung to me, lamenting about the meld while not fully understanding what was happening. I hadn't known what was happening either, but that was the thing about being an adult—I’d pretended to be okay because the kids needed that.
Kane was the one who’d grabbed my
