“No, never,” Cova agrees.
“Did he kiss you?” Merleigh asks.
I swallow and suddenly, I’m terribly embarrassed. I don’t want to tell them that I let him kiss me, that I was weak. I don’t want them to look at me like I’m pathetic. Because that’s how I feel right now—pathetic. I let a man who has ruined their lives kiss me. The worst part is, I kissed him back. For a moment, I fell for his charm and caved. I feel incredibly stupid for that.
“He did,” I finally tell them. “It was quite shocking.”
Merleigh frowns. “That is strange. Maybe you are different . . .”
“Maybe,” I murmur, needing a swift change of subject.
“Did you kiss him back?” Cova asks, her voice tight.
“No,” I lie, and it feels like it lodges in my throat it’s that foreign.
I hate lying.
I hate it.
Cova studies me as if she knows I’m fibbing, then she stands and says, “I’m bored of this party already. I’m going home.”
“You should stay,” Briella pouts. I can feel her disappointment. She’s trying so hard to have Cova fit in, but she’s just not. She’s got her mind elsewhere, and it’s going to take some time to correct that.
“No, I’m tired. See you later.”
With that Cova turns and walks out the door. Merleigh stands and smiles down at Briella. “I’ll take her home, then come back. I’ll make sure she gets there safe.”
Briella gives Merleigh and grateful smile, and then the two of them leave. When they’re gone, I glance over at Kendric and say, “Where’s that weed? Let’s do this.”
With a grin, he pulls the little bag from his jacket and announces, “Let’s get this party started.”
Yes.
Let’s.
MY MIND SPINS IN HEAVENLY delight as all the weight of the world is lifted off my shoulders. There is nothing better than feeling like you can just fly when you’ve been trudging along for weeks. Things finally seem a bit light and airy, like nothing in the world could hold me down. It’s incredible. If it weren’t for the fact that I’d risk addiction, I’d probably do this every single day.
We’re all sitting in a circle in the living area, the room a little hazy even though we have all the windows and doors open. The air that’s trickling in is cool, and the music we’re playing is at a perfect volume in the background. Briella is sitting in between Alarick’s legs, and Merleigh has come back and is sitting beside Bohdi, the two of them deep in conversation.
I’m beside Mykel, and Kendric is on my other side with Samson and Cohen sitting next to him. We’re all chatting, and laughing, and passing the smoke around. We’re about to run out, and Kendric hands the smoke to Mykel, who takes a long inhale before realizing that there isn’t enough left to keep passing it. His eyes swing to mine, all glassy and gorgeous, and then, without warning or question, he leans in and crooks his finger, indicating I should lean in closer.
I do, my mind spinning blissfully. He brings his lips so close to mine. The whole world feels like it stops. Locking eyes with him, I prepare, knowing exactly what he’s going to do.
Slowly, he lets the smoke trickle from his lips and as it does, I breathe it in. The moment is so incredibly intense, I feel like we’re alone and not a single other person is here. Like the universe has just shut everything else down. My eyes stay locked on his and I keep inhaling the smoke that he’s breathing into my mouth.
My god.
I want him.
I want him so damned badly my whole body aches.
I know I shouldn’t. I know that wanting him is dangerous for my soul, because his heart doesn’t lie with me—it lies with another girl in this room. Yet I find myself unable to stop as I lean forward just a little more. Mostly to see what he’ll do, and partly because I want his lips on mine more than I want this smoke he’s currently blowing softly into my mouth.
He doesn’t move back. His eyes stay held on mine, and I want to beg him to close the distance between us and kiss me. I need his lips on mine so fucking badly. I inch forward just a little more, and his eyes go from smoldering and sexy to lusty and needy. He feels it too; I can see it in his gaze. He wants me as much as I want him right now.
“Fuckin’ hell. Kiss her already, man, before I fuckin’ do,” Kendric murmurs, his voice low.
I swallow and Mykel’s eyes drop to my lips.
He moves a little closer, closer still—Then my phone rings. It rings so loudly I jerk, and in that second, the moment is lost. Mykel pulls back and my heart plummets into my stomach. I take a few minutes to recover from that, and then I glance over at my phone, which is on the floor beside me somewhere. I shift around until I find it, and then I stare at the screen.
“It’s Dax,” I mutter, closing my eyes and exhaling.
“Take it,” Alarick orders.
I don’t want to take it.
Goddammit, I don’t even want to look at it.
But I do as I’m told, because that’s what I’m here for.
I bring a finger to my lips, telling everyone to be quiet, and then I answer the phone and put it on loud speaker.
“Hey,” I say softly, trying to make my voice sound like the voice he’s come to know, that of the fragile, gentle girl he thinks he’s falling for.
“Waverly,” he says, and I can hear the pain in his voice.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard another person’s voice sound so pained. So broken. For a moment, I have to remind myself who I’m dealing with so I don’t immediately fall for for his act and try to help him.
“What’s going on?” I ask
