“I should’ve told you,” I say, my palms rubbing soothingly over her thighs. With panic racing through me, I lean in and hope she can see the devotion I have for her. Our eyes lock on one another I silently beg for her to hear my words clearly. “I understand if this is all too much.” Not that I want to let her go, but I could never bring myself to force her to stay, to become completely mine if she doesn’t want to.
“I…” the words are lost to her. Like she can’t register what she has heard. “Me…” again she attempts to speak. Being pissed at Rowan did not even begin to explain how I felt. This is not how I wanted to tell Taryn. I did not want to bombard her, I wanted to slowly ease her into my world.
“I never wanted you to feel responsible, or make you feel forced.”
“So you were simply going to lead me to believe that this thing between us was two people that were meant to be. Let me believe that you wanted me, and not what I could give you.” Taryn’s eyes filled with tears and I felt as though I had been stabbed in the chest. “You don’t want me, you want the gift I can give you.”
“What?”
Taryn stands so fast that I have no time to prepare. I stumble back and land on my ass as she rounds the couch and heads straight for the door. “
Wait!” I reach out for her and she jerks her arm away so I hold my own up in surrender. I won’t touch her, I just need her to stay.
“Please, stay.”
She pauses with her hand on the door handle, her back still to me.
“I thought this was something,” her words are nothing more than a whisper. “I thought I was what you wanted, who you needed.”
“You are,” I’ve never felt fear like I do now.
“No,” Taryn looks back at me, her cheeks now stained with tears and my chest tightens. The need to reach out and take her in my arms has never felt stronger than right now. “You need what I can give you, it has nothing to do with me alone. I’m an incubator for the rebirth of your world.” And with that, the door opens and she disappears off the porch, down the steps and into the forest a few hundred feet away.
“Maybe she needs time,” Rowan’s voice echoes behind me but I can’t move away from the door. My world was lost years and years ago, but even then, the loss I felt doesn’t compare to what I feel now.
She ran, she left me.
Taryn
The moment I disappear into the trees I close my eyes, letting the tears I kept at bay roll down my cheeks. The frigid temperature causes them to freeze in the process. I look down and realize I don’t have my coat or decent clothes on. I wrap my arms around myself but that does nothing to warm the chill.
I begin to walk in the direction I think I need to be going in. Every step I take further away from Merick I feel a pain in my chest, but I ignore it and keep walking. I ignore the tears that spill down my cheeks. He didn’t want me—I was a means to an end, and I fell for it hook, line, and sinker.
Once I spot the cabin up ahead I run as fast as I can. The moment I’m inside I slam the door shut, locking it behind me. It’s freezing inside, first things first I start a fire. Feeling slightly shaky I find a banana, scarfing it down quickly.
With a warm cup of tea in hand, I sit down on my pallet of blankets in front of the fire. Staring at the flames as the tears begin to flow down my cheeks again I allow everything to sink it. I set my tea down and curl up, letting the heat from the fire warm me, but not the same way Merick’s body heat does.
Did I make a mistake walking away? A part of me feels like he wouldn’t even want me without this thing that is bigger than the both of us pushing us together. Our destiny planned out, a mission we are meant to complete. I’m confused, lost, so unsure of the right and wrong.
I need to call home, obviously, I can’t tell them everything, but I know I’ll feel better if I hear my Mom or Dad’s voice. I grab my phone and see that it’s dead, which makes sense since it was here for days when I was not.
I quickly plug it in and as soon as it powers back on I see I have missed calls from Mom, Dad, and Lily.
Dad is probably the safer bet to call first, the most rational at least of the three. I take some deep breaths and press the call button.
“Taryn we were starting to worry. It’s not like you not to answer when we call. Is everything okay?” That’s a loaded question. “John said he saw you walking through town with a man and you were holding hands.”
My eyes burn and my throat feels tight thinking about the day before, and how much I loved it, feeling like I belonged. “It was n-nothing. Just someone being friendly, and showing me around.” Why does that hurt to say? “I promise everything is fine. I have been enjoying the solitude and not meaning to I accidently let my phone die.”
His sigh is loud and causes me to shake my head, feeling disappointment in myself. “I want you
