I am a mess, a ridiculous cliché of a girl that seems to have grown love struck after one encounter with a total stranger.
Choosing to ignore my scrambled mind and the fact that I’ve been carrying on a conversation with myself I sink into my bed and snuggle up under the down comforter. A steal I found online a few weeks ago and couldn’t resist. I’m feeling thankful now that I decided to spoil myself because it seriously feels like being wrapped in a cloud. I sleep so much better with it, my own personal cocoon of happiness.
Luckily it takes me no time at all before I start to fall asleep.
Twigs snap beneath my bare feet as I run through the trees. My hair whips around me, my heart beats wildly in my chest. I feel the presence behind me get closer and I pump my legs harder.
There’s a cave up ahead and I run towards it, knowing that it’s the first place he’ll look but knowing that I can’t continue on like this. My calves burn already from the exertion. Once I’m inside, I take a deep breath and rest my back against the cold stone wall. I can’t stay out long because my parents will worry.
A rustling of branches and then there he is, my wolf. “Hey boy. I’ve missed you.” He stands in the mouth of the cave, waiting for me. Climbing to my feet, I walk toward him and see that his brown eyes are so vibrant today--like pools of melting chocolate.
He starts running toward me and I’m about to pee my pants out of fear because though I know he’s kind to me, I am also unsure of his triggers and well aware he’s still a wild animal. I remain alert and cautious, fully understanding he could be fierce if he chooses to be. Then out of nowhere he skids to a stop and carefully bumps me playfully knocking me down before he begins licking my face. I laugh and try to push him off. “Stop you big goof.” I hug him and kiss his nose.
Suddenly there’s a flash of light and the wolf is now Merick...wait, what? I’m startled by this shift. I’m no longer twelve-year-old me, but an adult, the current version of myself. He smiles down at me and my pulse quickens. I reach up, touching his face. “Are you real?”
His lips turn up in the same cocky grin I saw at the club. “Does this feel real?” Merick leans down and presses his lips to mine. Our kiss is soft and gentle and the moment I try to deepen it he pulls away from me. Chuckling when her frustrated growl pierces the air between us. “All in good time sweetheart.”
This is a good time, the perfect time, my mind screams.
My eyes flutter shut and when they open again, I’m back on the porch at my parent’s cabin and I’m twelve again.
My eyes pop open and I sit up, still momentarily dazed by my dream. “What the hell?” I haven’t dreamt about my wolf in a long time. Hell, over time my dream wolf has all but faded away, a distant memory that rarely makes an appearance. Why would he be back now? So clear, so realistic. And more importantly, why would Merick be penetrating those dreams?
I climb out of bed and grab a drink of water. When I crawl back beneath the cool sheets, I notice that it’s only two in the morning. My twinkle lights are on a timer so they’re already out, leaving my apartment bathed in darkness. I lay on my side and watch shadows dance across my wall from the lights outside that peek between my blinds. When I finally fall asleep, I’m grateful the remaining part of my night is void of any further dreams.
When I finally get up the next day, I keep myself busy doing my normal Sunday chores; cleaning my apartment, doing laundry, and going to get groceries.
By the time everything is done I’m able to sit down and watch a little television. I get lost in the antics of reality television while I eat the chicken salad I made. Cleaning up my mess, I decided to pamper myself a bit. While I run a bath, I put my hair up into a knot on top of my head, not wanting to bother with washing it. I add some lavender bath salts to the water and immediately I’m met with a soothing aroma.
I wash my face and apply my detoxifying face mask that’s supposed to hydrate and minimize my pores. Once I’m all set, I climb into the warm bath, moaning in pleasure as I sink into the soothing water. Once the tub is full, I turn off the tap and lie back, allowing the water to engulf me as much as possible.
With my eyes closed I’m suddenly hit with another vision of my parent’s cabin. I can see twelve-year-old me stepping into the woods again, the beautiful purple velvety flowers I remember seeing spread out before me. They look so real almost like I could reach out and touch them, feeling the petals glide over my fingertips.
The vision is there and gone before I’m running in my mind. Feeling scared because I have no idea where I am, and nothing looks familiar. Everything intermixes, leaving me feeling confused what’s reality and what is make-believe..
My dream last night, my thoughts now, both feel so incredibly realistic. But then again, it all makes little sense too.
I remember all those years ago, feeling as though someone or something was pulling me deeper into the trees. An imaginary attraction, but that was impossible...right? The wolf I saw had to have been a figment of my imagination. Something I’d watched or read that triggered those visions.
My thoughts turn to Merick, those eyes, that warm soothing voice that blanketed me, inflicting a warm sensation throughout my body. I still can’t
