“I’m scared,” she whispered.
His entire heart shattered. He pulled her back into his arms, hugging her to his chest.
“Gavin, we can’t do this.” Her words struck him to the core.
“Lila—”
“No.” She gently pushed away, shaking her head. “I know I said I wanted this and that we should see past the fear, but I can’t do this to you.”
“It’s going to be okay.”
“You don’t know that.” She backed away farther. “I have to go.”
Each step took a piece of him with her. The tone and sadness in her eyes told him she was serious about leaving, and he let out a frustrated groan. “What if you remember? What then? You might be pushing me away for nothing.”
“The chance of me forgetting is high. And even if I do remember, you’ll be gone in August.”
He clenched his fists at his sides, unsure of how to argue. Why couldn’t she see that it didn’t matter? “Maslair isn’t that far.”
“It’s far enough,” she said, crossing her arms.
He shook his head in disbelief. “It’s barely an hour away.”
He glanced at their friends. A few still tossed the ball around. A couple sat on the bleachers talking. Kaley looked over with concern. Their raised voices must have drawn her attention.
“Why now?” he asked in a quieter tone. “You’ve known I was leaving. Nothing has changed. We can—”
“Everything has changed!” The lights from high above reflected off the tears rolling down her cheeks. “I…”
He knew she wouldn’t say it. Just as he knew she wouldn’t listen to reason at that moment. She let her fear take control. He tried anyway, finishing with what he assumed she couldn’t say. “I love you, Lila. Please don’t do this.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered before walking away, hugging herself. He watched as Kaley met her halfway. She nodded after Lila said something and then headed toward the parking lot with her. When they reached the fence, Kaley shot a sympathetic look his way.
Confusion warred with grief inside, and Gavin slumped against the football post. Everything was going so well. He didn’t understand her abrupt mood change.
The pain he worked to prepare himself for in the following weeks came too early. He doubled over with hands braced on his knees. The atmosphere around the field changed. Distantly, he could hear his friends and knew they’d stopped to watch the commotion.
A pair of dark tennis shoes stopped in front of him. “What happened?”
He stood upright to see his best friend. “I don’t know.”
“Just give her time. It’ll—”
“We don’t have time,” he interrupted Dylan.
Gavin stormed off. He ran to his car, slamming the door once inside. Smacking the steering wheel, he yelled at the world. It wasn’t fair. None of it was fair.
By the time he got home, Lila’s room had a dim light on upstairs. He watched as she went to pull the curtains closed. Their eyes met, and she looked as if she was in just as much pain as him. She shook her head slowly and drew the curtains. When her light turned off, plunging him into darkness, he finally went inside to make a plan.
He had one last chance to make it right.
Lila’s Summer Bucket List
Sleep under the stars
Attend a party
Get a tattoo
Use fake ID to sing karaoke in a bar
Stand under the lights on the football field
Go on a date ❤️
Sneak out of the house
Visit the baby goat farm
Go to Chicago
Midnight swim
Spend a day in bed watching movies
Stay up to watch the sunrise
❤️ Be kissed in the rain
Run through the halls of the high school
Conquer a fear
Paintball
Try something new
Dye hair pink
Sneak into movie theater
Climb water tower
20
Saturday
“I don’t want to go.” Lila pulled the blanket up around her, hoping her dad would leave her to mope in bed.
Instead, he sat beside her. “I know you’re mad at him, but you need to go to this party.”
“Dad, I’m not mad at him. I just… I can’t do this.”
“Why? What happened?”
“I don’t want to hurt him.” Lila hugged a soft pink pillow to her chest as she stared at the ceiling. In barely a whisper, she added, “He told me he loves me.”
Her dad put a hand over hers. “Sweetheart, he’s always loved you.”
Lila’s mouth dropped open. “You knew?”
“Of course, I knew.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? All this time—”
“Would you have believed me?” her dad interrupted. When Lila looked down at the pillow in her lap, he continued, “I know it’s scary, but he’s not going to just disappear forever. He’s a part of your life, whether you like it or not. Susie and I have been best friends our entire lives. They’re still going to live next door, and he’s going to be around.”
Lila hadn’t truly considered that. An idea began to form in her mind. “I don’t want to forget any memories of him. What if I lose it all?”
“Then you make new ones.” Her dad smiled and stood. “Going to a party is on your list, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, but—”
“Nope, that means you have to go,” he said. “I promise you’ll have a good time. Please, just trust me.”
Lila stared at her dad. For someone who seemed angry when she was with Gavin, he was awfully insistent. With a nod, she agreed. Her dad clapped his hands once then moved out to the hall. He came back with a gift bag.
“An early birthday present,” he told her as he held it out.
Lila smiled and pulled lilac fabric out. She stood, unfolding it. The tall mirror in the corner showed her reflection as she held the dress up to herself. Her dad wrapped an arm around her shoulders and squeezed. “Come on, let’s go have some fun.”
Lila saw the tears glistening in her father’s eyes. She turned and hugged him. “Thank you. It’s perfect. Did you or Mom pick it out?”
She meant it to be teasing, but her dad pushed her back gently. “It’s not from us.”
“Then who…?”
At her dad’s grin, Lila realized
