Was it weird to feel my body ache when he said that? I had no idea. “I missed you, too,” I replied, watching as he bent his tall frame down and lowered his head to mine. My eyes closed the moment he kissed me, and it was just as sweet and warm as I remembered.
When his lips were pulled off mine, I gazed up at him and said, “You should’ve told me you were coming.” I could’ve showered. I was looking a little ratched right now…though, in all honesty, that’s how I looked every day. It’s just that I was now starting to care about how I looked, at least to Calum and Mason.
“And miss the surprise on your face? Never.” Calum smiled as he stepped back, taking off his jacket and laying it across the foot of my bed. His head tilted as he meandered to my desk, glancing at what I had out. A textbook, along with my notebook—a notebook that was full of doodles, but I would argue that I still paid attention in class better than half of the other kids. “What are you working on? That group project you have with Mason?”
He didn’t sound as jealous as Mason did when he brought Calum up, and I wondered if he didn’t view Mason as competition. If he wasn’t worried at all about it, if he thought he had me in the bag. He never told me to not hang out with Mason, but at the same time, he also didn’t know how close Mason and I were.
Last night…he knew nothing about my date with Mason last night.
“No,” I said, feeling my cheeks heat up as I went to close the textbook. “I have an exam in another class next week, so I was doing a bit of studying.” It was right then when I wondered if I should tell Calum about my date with Mason last night—not every detail of it, but just the fact that he’d had me over, and we spent time alone not working on the project.
Would he be angry? Would he be jealous? I already knew Mason was beyond jealous when it came to Calum.
But as I looked back to Calum, no words formed in my throat, nothing at all to tell him about last night. I just couldn’t do it. Call me weak, call me useless, call me a scaredy-cat. Whatever. If I was a bad person for not telling him, then I guess that’s what I would be.
Calum spent the rest of the day with me. We lounged around my room, talking and cuddling, and then he took me out to dinner later that night. Mom was thrilled to see him again, though Dad kept his emotions close to his chest. Even though he already had a daughter who’d been dating for what felt like ever, it was somehow different with me.
It always was.
I was the first-born. I was their pride and joy. It was different to watch me go out with a guy than it was to watch Michelle do it. Don’t ask me why; parents were a mystery I could not decipher.
We ended the night on the front porch, sitting in the dying daylight and holding hands as we talked. I’d put on a hoodie before we left for dinner, but even that wasn’t enough to shield the cold air. Winter would be here soon, and even colder weather would follow. One thing I hated about living here: the eternally changing seasons.
“Trent made himself scarce,” Calum was busy saying, opening up about how his return to home had been. I’d made it a point not to ask him, because I didn’t want to seem too worried about him going back, even though I totally was. If he wanted to tell me, he would. I would not force him. I wasn’t like that. “I barely saw him in the office, and anytime I was home, he made it a point not to be there. I have no idea how long that’s going to last, but I’m enjoying it.” He tossed me a smile, though I could tell it was strained.
Trent had been his best friend, and he’d slept with his ex-girlfriend. Hilary was her name. I tried not to think about her, because then I got lost in the rabbit hole that was my mind. What did she look like? Was she good in bed? Had he been happy with her, before she’d cheated? Was Trent her first time cheating? Countless of questions, none of which I’d ever get the answers to, because I wouldn’t say them aloud.
“What happens when you see him more?” I asked, mostly curious because I didn’t want Calum to get into any fights, to get arrested or something.
“I don’t know,” he answered, squeezing my hand. He’d pulled it onto his lap not that long ago, holding it there while his other arm was wrapped around my shoulders, holding me close as we sat on the steps and gazed up at the waning light.
Michelle had left to hang out with Kyle while Calum and I were at dinner, so I didn’t get to see her off. Mom and Dad stayed in the house, which gave us some privacy. I knew they wouldn’t eavesdrop on us; plus, it was far too cold to have any of the windows open in the house. My dad was way too uptight when it came to the electric bill to waste heat like that.
“I still get angry when I think about it,” Calum whispered. “I don’t think I can ever forgive him for what he did.”
“How long have you known him?”
“Freshman year in college, so…seven years?” Calum sighed, adding under his breath, “Damn, I feel old, now.”
