‘First of all, thank you so much for agreeing to take part in the programme,’ I said. ‘As you know, it’s about friendship, and I’d like to ask you about yours.’
‘Good lord, what on earth makes you think we’re friends?’ said Gabrielle. ‘I can’t stand any of these women.’
Katie, Jenny and Bridget laughed. ‘Likewise,’ said Bridget. ‘I only spend time with you because you’ve not got long to go and I feel sorry for you.’
‘How long have you been friends?’ I asked.
‘Forty, fifty years,’ said Jenny.
‘Forty for Jenny, Gabrielle, Rebecca and me,’ said Katie. ‘Bridget came along later.’
‘And there’s been no getting rid of her,’ said Gabrielle. ‘Try as we might.’
‘How did you come up with your Bonnet names?’ I asked.
‘My husband and I were christened Lord and Lady Muck because we were moving into rather a grand house when we arrived in the area,’ Katie said. ‘I added the name Ebaynia to become Lady Ebaynia Muck when eBay began, because of my talent for finding a bargain on there.’
‘I chose to be Lady Bottom,’ chimed in Bridget. ‘We added “the finest seat in the county” because I lived in a place called Rowbottom.’ Her eyes twinkled mischievously. ‘Rebecca became The Duchess because of her love of quality.’
‘And I became Lady Eyre.’ Gabrielle wafted an imaginary fan and fluttered her eyelashes.
‘She signed her name differently in all the letters, sometimes Lady Eyre, sometimes LadyEyreinmytyres or Lady EyreonaGstring or Lady C Eyre if she was at the seaside,’ added Katie. ‘A dry wit, our Gabrielle.’
‘And I was simply known as Rosamund, “arbiter of taste and decorous fashion”,’ said Jenny.
Katie informed us that there were two other Bonnets but they didn’t live in Bath. They were known as Lady Sew and Sew and Lady Burble. Lady Sew and Sew studied tango for years and still practised enthusiastically.
‘And what is the key to your friendship?’ I asked, as Ajay found the best position from which to film the interview.
‘Knowing they can take the piss out of you and it makes you laugh because you know they know you so well and you love them for it,’ said Bridget.
‘Mutual support,’ said Katie.
‘Sara’s compiling a list of rules,’ said Jo as she turned to me. ‘You could add some of these.’
I gave her the thumbs up.
‘Loyalty, trust,’ said Gabrielle. ‘They have to know you’ve got their back in every circumstance.’
‘Listening as well as talking,’ said Katie.
‘Enjoyment. I like their company,’ said Bridget.
‘Discretion,’ said Gabrielle. ‘You have to trust each other with your secrets.’
Bridget tapped the side of her nose. ‘And we’ve certainly had a lot of those over the years. Also shared interests and a sense of adventure. What I like about these women is that they still have a curiosity about the world which makes them interesting company.’
‘You will be on their side and support them, whatever, against anyone,’ said Jenny. ‘You feel their pain as your own and you are genuinely pleased for all good news that comes their way.’
‘They know and forgive you all your faults,’ said Katie, ‘without saying they’re doing it. They know when you’re kidding yourself, boasting, exaggerating, deluding yourself.’
‘They never, ever bore you, and there’s always, always something to talk about,’ said Bridget. ‘We never seem to run out of things to say to each other, whether it’s discussing the news, sharing gardening tips, or looking at new movies.’
‘And it’s good to have a clear-out of friends every now and then,’ said Katie, ‘like you do with your wardrobe. Those who you no longer have anything in common with and have outgrown, let them go.’
‘Or those who bore the pants off you,’ Gabrielle added, ‘and you only see because you feel obligated, let them go.’
‘Those who bring you down with sarcasm or cutting comments, who are judgemental or moaners and your heart sinks when they get in touch,’ said Jenny, ‘let them go.’
‘With a cheery wave,’ said Katie, ‘let them go and stay with the ones who bring something to the party. Some friends are for ever, some are not.’
I marvelled as they chatted on, each with something to say. I’d done thousands of interviews in my time and seen people go blank in front of the camera or become inarticulate when asked a question for TV. These woman were naturals.
‘We’ve seen each other through illnesses,’ said Katie, ‘the death of friends, parents, siblings; through money worries, loss of jobs, and through good times too, but we never take our true friends for granted. Don’t let them go and make the effort to keep them in your life. Good friends are a joy and never, ever an effort.’
‘Apart from Gabrielle,’ said Bridget, ‘who, to be honest, is bloody hard work.’
Gabrielle blew Bridget a kiss.
I thought about me, Ally, Jo and Mitch. Did we have what it took to end up like these inspiring ladies? We hadn’t done a very good job so far, but I hoped we’d turned a corner.
‘And you chose to live near each other?’ I asked.
Jenny nodded. ‘There were times in our friendship when we lived in different cities, and even periods when we didn’t see so much of each other over the decades, but as we began to age—’
‘And bits began to drop off,’ said Bridget.
Gabrielle sighed, ‘And people began to drop off, pass away, our dear husbands among them, one after the other, we got together to see if we could devise a plan to live nearer—’
‘Possibly together,’ said Bridget, ‘though that idea soon got thrown out.’
‘Why’s that?’ I asked.
Bridget rolled her eyes. ‘Friends we might be, but under one roof and there would have been mass murder.’
‘Yes, we’re a bunch of difficult old moos,’ said Gabrielle.
‘We’re all very independent,’ said Katie, ‘and we like our own routines.’
‘Stubborn and fixed in our ways you mean,’ said Bridget. ‘Katie never stops talking and always has to have the radio on; Gabrielle’s a ditherer; Jenny’s so noisy and opinionated
