• True friends will speak out when a friend is deluding themselves or talking tosh.
• Good manners. Be on time, not just for friends but for everyone, as being regularly late indicates that other people’s time isn’t as valuable as yours and makes you out to be a thoughtless pillock.
• Be aware if a friend is lonely and do something about it, especially at times like Christmas.
Jo
• Be your own best friend and kind to yourself.
• True friends don’t let distance get in the way and pick up the phone, as nothing beats a proper chat or, failing that, send the occasional text or funny photo of yourself looking your worst whilst having your highlights done or when you’ve overdone the eyebrow dye and ended up looking like Groucho Marx. FaceTime, Instagram, emails, a card just to say I’m still here and thinking about you.
• True friends don’t let friendships drift because they don’t get on with your partner, dog, parrot or pet llama.
• Friends trust each other, are discreet and keep secrets.
• Friends don’t judge each other – no, that’s a lie, they do, but they don’t say it out loud or to others. It’s OK to tell the cat, though.
• Friends have your best interests at heart and will point out food spilt down your chest, prominent chin hairs (not on men, obviously), and spinach or lipstick on teeth. Same goes for unflattering clothes, haircut or make-up. On the other hand, they will also notice the good physical changes and compliment, whether it be a new top, great haircut or pair of earrings.
• Friends think about what they can do to help in the future when a friend’s current position is rocky.
• Friends are genuinely glad when a friend has good news, even if they are getting everything you wish you had. Life is a rollercoaster for all of us, so celebrate the good fortune of those you care about.
Ruth (Sara’s ex friend)
• Don’t sleep with your best friend’s husband or partner.
Katie Brookfield
• Friends are happy to dress up, help you pick out a hideous fancy-dress costume and act the fool for a friend’s big birthday – or any time really.
• Friends remember birthdays. Presents, cards and cake, depending on what your agreement is and finances allow.
• Friends encourage each other to do their best, follow their dreams, take up the challenge and fight the good fight.
• True friends can take the piss out of each other and have a good laugh because they know you well and you love them for it.
• Friends share new experiences. Apart from enemas – those are best done alone.
• Time with friends is never an obligation, so ditch the ones who bore the pants off you.
• Having good friends is the most precious thing in the world. Cherish them.
Ally
• Friends listen with an open mind when their friend comes out with ideas that might seem far-fetched. White feathers left by those who have passed away, the need to juice copious amounts of celery or move into a commune. Some of the most brilliant and innovative minds were at one time considered crazy.
• Cultivate local friends if geography distances you from your old dear ones. It’s never too late to make new friends and it’s a pleasure to have someone call and say – fancy a coffee tomorrow? See you at the deli.
• Friends are sensitive to their friends’ way of doing things in their own homes, so don’t rearrange a friend’s kitchen or their furniture, for example, without permission.
• Friends surprise you with good ideas to make your life better.
Philippa (Ally’s friend)
• At times of crisis, don’t ask, do. Practical actions. Take a casserole, give a lift, do a grocery shop or the washing up – whatever needs doing.
• If a friend has a serious hospital appointment, go with them if you can, so they know that they’re not alone in facing whatever comes up.
• Be there in person, if you can, at times when a friend has been thrown one of life’s curve balls and their familiar landscape has shifted.
Lawrence
• Friends spend time together but also give each other space; they care but don’t smother.
• Friends ‘get’ each other, always have lots to talk about and can be completely themselves with each other.
• Friends don’t try to pair single friends off with every available man/woman available unless they’re asked to.
Tom Riley
• Keep phone numbers and addresses of old friends: you never know when you might need them or what they might lead to.
Gary
• Don’t let your furry best friend sleep on the bed on the first night sharing it with a new partner.
• Don’t put your furry best friends in the same room as other people’s pets unless you want trouble.
Simon and Steve
• Men need good friends as much as women.
• Don’t let your partner make all the social plans. Share the organizing as your partner might not be there to do it for you for ever.
Luca (singer-songwriter)
• Respect a friend’s privacy if they don’t want to appear on social media, on Instagram or Facebook falling out of a car pissed as a fart, looking their worst or snogging the waiter, no matter how hilarious it seemed at the time. Especially if they’re married and were supposed to be somewhere else.
• Find your equals.
• True friends are loyal and always have your back. They don’t stay silent if others are criticizing, slagging off or gossiping about a friend. Friends stand up for each other.
• New friends can be found through exploring like-minded activities and interests.
Mitch
• True friends can be vulnerable and completely honest with each other. They don’t have to put on a brave face or downplay their fears. A
