Listening to her story only made him want to marry her more. It was like finding a chip in an antique piece of china—its frailty and wear only made it more authentic. But Gina was reluctant. The responsible thing to do would be to finish her education before getting married.
Gina needed time to think it over. More than time—she needed space. Bobby understood why. Marriage was a big deal for anyone, but for a woman like Gina—a woman without a family of her own—it was that much more important. Still, he felt certain she’d say yes. They’d move to Alma as soon as he graduated in May, and she’d still be able to commute to school every day.
Bobby still wonders if she would’ve agreed to marry him if it hadn’t been for the unexpected pregnancy. He never learned what made Gina walk into his Cambridge apartment one day, weeks after his proposal, announcing that she was ready to go all the way. She had been so adamant about saving herself for marriage. After they were done, Bobby worried she would have regrets, but they had made love again hours after their first time with such synchronicity it felt as if they’d been doing it for years. Three weeks later, Gina announced she was pregnant.
“It’s a sign,” Bobby had said. “We’re meant to do this.” He got down on one knee, holding a four-carat engagement ring he’d bought days after his spontaneous proposal over the shirt buttons.
Gina accepted on the condition that Bobby return the ring. “It’s too much.” She had heard about the exploitative and violent effects of the diamond industry in Africa. Till this day, she’s never let him buy her expensive jewelry. They got married less than a month later, in May 2004.
It’s been over fifteen years since that day and Gina is still as loving, nurturing, and down-to-earth as she had been back then. She is a rare breed: someone who had come into money and hadn’t changed one bit. She is everything he’s ever wanted in a woman—kind, faithful, strong. She’s his best friend, his partner in everything.
Now, Bobby’s eyes land on the framed picture on his desk: Gina in a hospital bed holding newborn Calan, Bobby leaning against her, the two of them grinning in bliss and exhaustion. It had been the happiest day of Bobby’s life. Not only did he become a dad, he became forever connected to the woman of his dreams.
Bobby knows how lucky he is to have married Gina. Which is why he has to consider his next move very carefully. He had underestimated the Eva Stone problem when he first heard of it—he can’t afford to make the same mistake now. He’s been trying to reach Zofia for weeks, but she hasn’t returned any of his calls or emails. She’s either ignoring him, or she’s taken a turn for the worse. The latter seems more likely, in which case he’ll have to proceed with additional caution. The safest option would be to go to her.
Bobby doesn’t want to pay her a visit, but it’s like he’s always telling Calan: life isn’t about doing what we want. It’s about doing what we have to.
He’s confident that he can survive one accusation of sexual misconduct.
But he could never survive two.
Twenty-Eight
Zofia
Thursday, October 10th
Dr. Woodward has posited that carrying feelings of guilt can be toxic. This is something he has said before. It is possible that Dr. Woodward is under the impression that Zofia’s memory is faulty, which is entirely untrue. Zofia’s memory is, in fact, well above average, not that she’d ever come out and say it. No one likes a show-off. Zofia has deduced that Dr. Woodward keeps bringing up his theory on the toxicity of guilt because he assumes that Zofia’s muteness is somehow related to feelings of guilt. Zofia has given this a great deal of thought because it’s hard not to think about the things your therapist says, especially when your therapist is one of the few people whose voice you hear. Zofia has concluded that there is wisdom to Dr. Woodward’s statement. Zofia does feel guilty. Months ago, on a Friday, Zofia made the mistake of sharing this with her cousin in New York, who had sent her a rather lengthy email listing all the reasons why Zofia shouldn’t feel guilty. The email ended with the sentence, I hope you believe me when I say that none of it was your fault. It was only when Zofia finished the email that she noticed she’d been crying. She hadn’t left her bed for the entire weekend, which sounds awful, but isn’t that much different from her usual routine.
Interview with Manuela Farias
Former Marketing Coordinator at Alma Boots
I left Alma Boots in the middle of the scandal, so, obviously, people assumed I left because of it. My friends wanted to know what I thought of Bobby. Had I ever worked directly with him? Had he ever behaved inappropriately towards me?
I was surprised people cared so much, to tell you the truth. My ex has a theory about it. She thinks it’s because Alma Boots makes shoes. Shoes aren’t like weapons or cigarettes or chocolate, so not aggressive or addicting or an indulgence. Everyone wears shoes. Shoes are wholesome, like milk
