Unlike Mom, the Pyro’s ghost was plenty angry. He stomped soundlessly around Smiley, screaming silent imprecations. Naturally, she couldn’t see him. More importantly, there wasn’t a damn thing he could do to her. Ghosts couldn’t touch the real world, couldn’t do much of anything except annoy the fuck out of Crows like me. Thank god, that second bit never occurred to Mr. Recently Slaughtered. Instead, he focused his impotent rage on the woman who didn’t know he was there. Eventually, he threw up his hands, mouthed what looked like a truly impressive chain of expletives, and stalked out of view.
I hoped that’d be the last time I saw him. One ghost following me around was bad enough.
“Get some sleep, Bakersfield. If we can’t find the hill trash’s transport when the sun’s up tomorrow, it’s going to be a long walk to the Academy.”
“You mean you can’t fly?”
I couldn’t see her expression behind the visor, but her words communicated it just fine. “If I could, do you think we’d have putt-putt-putted up this hill for the last few hours?”
It was a good point. “You are a Power though, right?” Shifter, I was guessing, although I’d never heard of one quite like her before.
“More of one than that asshole was.” The helmet nodded.
“Cool.” Now that the episode was behind us, and the bodies—and the ghost—were safely out of view, I felt some of my equilibrium returning. It wasn’t the first bit of violence I’d witnessed. The messiest, sure… but far from the first.
It wasn’t the last one, either… but I guess that goes without saying.
“Cool, he says. Fucking teenagers.” She shook her head. “Guess I should just be thankful you didn’t try to help.” I could barely see her, but apparently, she could read my expression just fine. “Don’t get your panties in a knot, kid. Nothing worse than an amateur trying to contribute. Sort of thing that gets the wrong people dead.”
“Instead, I just lay there like an asshole.”
“Most assholes are too damn stupid to stay down.” Another sound as she shrugged slim shoulders. “Anyway, you’re not a Cape yet. Once you’ve swallowed their Kool-Aid and been molded into a proper…” She paused. “What kind of Power are you anyway?”
“Crow.” I didn’t know what Kool-Aid was, but it sounded illegal.
“Once you’re molded into a …” She stopped a second time, and her voice went oddly soft. “You’re a Necromancer? And you grew up in Bakersfield? Did Dr. Nowhere have something against your ancestors or were you just fucked over by complete random accident?”
I… wasn’t quite sure how to respond to that.
“And since when does Cape University take Crows?” she continued.
“Since tomorrow, I guess. Mr. Grey says I’ll be the first.” I peered through the fire. “Shouldn’t you already know all this, seeing as how you’re such a professional?”
“In my line of work, there’s a time for asking questions, and there’s a time for taking the money and shutting up. This was definitely the latter.”
“Oh yeah? Was there a welding torch involved?”
Her laugh was sharp and jagged. “There are scarier things than torches out there, kid. Scarier than me even.” I heard as much as saw her shake her head. “If I’d known, I would have charged triple. I mean… a Crow Cape from Bakersfield? It’s like a black cat spilling salt on a broken mirror. Or a unicorn’s exact opposite.”
“Am I supposed to know what any of that means?”
“It means you’re bad news and even worse luck. No wonder that hill trash gang picked today of all days to claim the route.”
“Luck had nothing to do with it. They were waiting for me.” I told her what Dale and the Pyro had been saying when I first came to.
Her Majesty’s silence was profound, eventually broken by a single, quiet word. “Motherfucker.”
“What?”
“Don’t worry about it,” she eventually replied. “Nothing we can do about it and once I get you to the Academy, you’ll be their problem, not mine. For now…” She scooted slightly away from the fire, and sprawled out, using her saddlebags as a lumpy pillow. “For now, get some sleep.”
“Just like that?”
“Just like that. Way your life is going, you’d better learn to rest while you can.”
The way my life was going, I wasn’t sure I could sleep. Unfortunately, there wasn’t a whole hell of a lot else to do, out in the middle of nowhere, with my only companion—only living one, anyway—already taking her own advice. I curled up, using my arm as a makeshift pillow, and closed my eyes.
Ten or so uncomfortable and not-at-all-restful minutes later, Smiley spoke again. “Cold, Bakersfield?”
“I thought you were asleep.”
“Hard to sleep when I can hear your teeth chattering.” Her rough voice went liquid for just a moment. “Want to come over here and… warm up?”
My mind flashed to the shredded pieces of the Pyro’s skull, a skull I’d been forced to carry down the hill. “Thanks, but I think I’m good.”
“You’re gonna hurt a woman’s feelings, kid. Don’t you think I’m sexy anymore?”
Whatever I was going to say in reply was pre-empted by the long, strangely sensual sound of a zipper being pulled open. Might have been her jacket. Might have been her pants.
Come to think of it, the Pyro had gotten exactly what he deserved. Hell if I was going to let his memory get in the way of… staying warm.
I had just made it to my feet when the zipper was drowned out by another, now-familiar sound; the low scrape of razor blades, a saw grinding against a tire iron, or a thousand armored hornets having the world’s most terrifying orgy.
On third thought… fuck that shit. I dropped back down to the ground, as close to the fire as I could get without actually getting
