It had been eleven months since she’d left college. Eleven long months to focus, earn and hunker down. Fine tune exactly what it was she wanted to do for the rest of her life – or at least university. And did she feel any closer to knowing what that was? Nope. Not a clue. Unless t-shirt flower painter was a thing. Was there a degree in Instagramming? Probably not. She glanced at her odometer. Twenty-odd miles to figure out what she wanted to do with the rest of her entire life or admit that she had, in fact, been a complete idiot not to follow her parents’ advice from the off and that all of this, the jobs, the moving out, the bike ride, had all been a complete and utter waste of a year. Awesome.
‘Hey! Raven! Fancy a couple of ride-a-long friends?’
Raven turned and saw Molly, the school counsellor and a freshly shaven Trevor riding up alongside her.
‘Course,’ said Raven, unusually grateful for the break in her alone time.
‘So!’ began Molly as if she’d rehearsed a little speech. ‘How are you?’
‘You mean after yesterday?’
‘Yes,’ nodded Molly. ‘And … you know … the other days before that.’
Raven went wide-eyed. Was Molly really asking her to talk about the meltdown she’d had the other day? In front of Trevor? She was about to say something like, yeah fine but it was intense, then reminded herself that she had been Instagramming her deepest darkest thoughts to total strangers for the past few days and that she had received nothing but support in return. More than that, really. She’d received actual sponsorship offers. Which she’d totally turned down because, durrrr, look at the Kardashians.
She glanced over at Molly who looked genuinely interested, and Trevor who had unwittingly enabled her to save a woman’s life and thought … maybe it’s time to try something new. Owning her feelings in front of actual people. So she began to talk. And talk and talk and talk about uni and her parents and how she knew they meant well and that whilst the idea of being a lawyer wasn’t completely reprehensible, it wasn’t really the float to her boat, not like her art was, which, to be honest, she knew was alright, but not exemplary or groundbreaking like Van Gogh or Picasso or Banksy all of which, weirdly, made her think of Dylan who, no, wasn’t her boyfriend but an actual mate, maybe even her first mate ever, like genuine mate, because so often in school you thought someone was your friend who wasn’t really your friend which of course she had considered herself to be one of Aisha’s friends but actually what they had been was loners who had recognised a pot and a kettle and then not done anything about it even when Aisha had totally needed her to call the kettle black which wasn’t really the analogy she was going for, but they got what she meant, right? She should’ve stepped up. She should’ve stepped up and she hadn’t and even though things hadn’t turned out completely brilliantly for Aisha at least she was alive and knew she was loved by her family which was something she was beginning to understand about her own family all of which made her extra conscious that when she made friends in the future she would definitely step up when necessary even if did scare the absolute crapola out of her which, to be honest, after yesterday, fewer things than she thought scared the crapola out of her, except, of course, disappointing her parents which was really the biggest fear she had because even letting Gandhiji down felt less awful than the idea that her parents would never be proud of her which, now that she had had a lot of time to think about it, really was her worst fear. Worse even than climate change which was also ranked right up there in the realm of things that were too freaky to think about, so instead she nattered on about her parents, their shop, their customers, her siblings, their children and everything she hoped they would do together as a family like ride alongside this beautiful river, through incredible parklands like these – look! – did they see the wild ponies? – and maybe, one day, she and her family would be like one of these families walking their dogs and jogging and yes, even cycling, although she wasn’t so sure her father would really like the cycling but maybe they could do something else so that they could do whatever it was together, and she began to run through the options of activities her father might enjoy until first Trevor and then eventually Molly, excused themselves and Raven was once again riding on her own looking at the world around her as if seeing it for the very first time which, she realized, as a fizzy burbly excitement effervesced through her, she was. This was a Brand New Day. And it was epic. Whether or not Newcastle was her destiny suddenly didn’t matter anymore because somewhere, somehow along this journey, a kernel of self-belief had begun to form and grow within her and whichever way her future panned out, she knew she would come out smiling.
‘Alright if I come in?’
‘Sue! What are you doing here?’ Becky pushed herself up against the mountain of pillows and pointed at the small television screen opposite her bed. ‘I thought I just watched all of you head off down the road!’
‘I thought I’d take a little detour before setting off.’
‘Don’t you want to hit the finish line with the rest of the group?’
‘Oh, I’ll catch up.’ Sue dodged a
