Jason took advantage of years of friendship and stayed for months. For a little while it had been nice to have someone from home around and there were some laughs. Then they’d got drunk and slept together. Gabriel knew with certainty then that the friendship was over, that Jason had treated him like nothing more than a conquest, to round out the domination that had started when they’d first met. The thing that turned his stomach most was that he felt he’d betrayed Bruce. He’d never told Bruce what had happened. Some secrets didn’t need to be shared.
‘But Bruce … maybe he would have been the right choice all along, especially considering how smitten you were.’
‘I wasn’t smitten.’
‘Mijo, it was obvious. Whenever he was around, you suddenly lost the ability to form complete sentences. How he ever got a conversation out of you, I don’t know.’
‘I wasn’t that bad,’ he mumbled. ‘Besides, nothing would have happened with Jason around.’
‘And now that he’s not around?’
‘Still not going to happen. Bruce doesn’t like me very much these days.’
‘Well, you were a bit harsh on him yesterday.’
‘He provoked me with his pig-headedness. And considering how talented he is, it annoyed me that he’d want to limit himself to building some two-bit sets that a kid in woodwork could have knocked together in an hour. But you’re right. I apologised to him earlier. Not that it changed his opinion of me.’
‘Don’t be too hard on him. I see him running around the town. He’s in such demand but I know he undercharges. Everyone says how cheap he is—which is lovely for them—but it can’t be doing him any good.’
‘I know. He said he was only charging you fifteen hundred for this work of art.’ He gestured to the gazebo.
‘Criminal, isn’t it? I tried to talk him up but he wouldn’t hear of it.’
Bruce never wanted people to think he needed the money. That’s what he’d said one night when it was just the two of them, Jason having cancelled at the last minute. They’d been at Bruce’s house, out on the verandah, sitting on the swing seat together. He’d finally gotten over his shyness around Bruce by then and they could talk. After Bruce’s father left to be with his other family in another town, it had fallen to Bruce, his mother Patricia and sister Rachel to pull together, but appearances mattered to Patricia and she wanted no-one to know that they struggled.
Gabriel hadn’t known what to say so he cuddled up close to Bruce, who’d draped his big arm across his shoulders. The thrill of being so close to Bruce, smelling that manly scent of his—of sawdust and spice—sparked through his body. It surprised him sometime later to realise he’d fallen asleep in Bruce’s lap. He sat up to find his chin was embarrassingly wet with drool, and he was shocked that he’d spent that time there. But how wonderful the feeling had been. Bruce hadn’t seemed to mind, was rather cute about it, but Gabriel knew then that it was going to be too hard to stay in Brachen.
‘Bruce was never like that.’
‘Did he leave his invoice?’ she asked.
‘No.’
‘Well, I’ll transfer the money later.’
‘I’ll do it.’
She frowned and pursed her lips. ‘No, you won’t. It’s my gazebo, I’m paying for it.’
‘Mamá, please, let me.’
‘You can’t. You’ve still got your apartment in the city and that can’t be cheap. Meanwhile you’re down here looking after me.’
‘Think of it as an early birthday present.’
She tutted and rolled her eyes. ‘Ridiculous. First you won’t let me tell people that you came up with the set designs—’
‘But I didn’t. They were your ideas.’ He raised his eyebrows, teasing her.
‘Rubbish and you know it. And now you want to pay for something that I’m perfectly capable of paying for myself.’
‘It’s a gift. It’s only small.’
‘It’s not small. That’s about all the money I had in the world when we left.’
‘And now I’m paying it back.’
She started. ‘Is that what you think? That you need to pay me back for what happened?’
He wouldn’t answer. Couldn’t.
She squeezed his arm. ‘Oh, mijo, you have nothing to repay. We left because we had to. Both of us. Your father and his family weren’t what we needed, and they certainly weren’t what we wanted. After the way they treated you, I would have walked away penniless to get you away from them.’
‘If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t have had to struggle so much.’
‘I still would have struggled. Do you remember when I taught you to draw? I did it because it was the only way I could draw without him knowing. I wanted to live through you, to encourage you so you could live out my dream. I’m ashamed of that now, of how weak I was.’
‘Don’t be. I love that you taught me.’
‘He was cruel, your father, and I’m sorry for not being stronger sooner, for not protecting you.’
He patted his fringe down so she couldn’t see the scar. ‘I healed.’
‘But you shouldn’t have been hurt in the first place. We knew you were different, and I was so frightened for you. I knew you had to get out of that house but I hoped you’d be able to stick it out until you were old enough to leave on your own.’ Her hand fluttered at the base of her throat. ‘But when you came home to tell us why you’d been beaten up at school, I froze. I couldn’t stop him from hitting you and I’m so sorry, Gabriel.’
He hugged her as she cried. They hadn’t talked about this much over the years. Their lives had been better for it.
‘It’s fine, Mamá. I’m fine, and I love you no matter what.’ His father was a distant memory, a cursed one at times, but
