‘I spoke to Jason today and he said the two of you slept together when you were in Sydney.’
Another and another and another. They hadn’t hurt going in but they stung when they were clawed out. Bits of flesh went with each one. He could deflect. Jason was already enough of a liar that he could discredit him more and keep that little secret of their indiscretion to himself. But seeing Bruce’s anger and hurt, he knew who Bruce would believe more.
‘It’s not what you think.’
‘Goddamn it, Gabriel.’ Bruce’s hands exploded out of their holsters. Crimson surged up his face and bled into his scalp. ‘I’ve given you every opportunity to be straight with me but you just can’t help yourself.’ He approached fast, near enough to feel the air charging out of his nostrils.
Gabriel’s whole body flinched and he dug his nails into his palms. ‘Please let me explain.’ He hated how much it sounded like begging.
‘Your explanations never do a very good job of clearing things up. You always keep something back.’ Bruce stepped away and Gabriel sucked air into his lungs. He had to fix this and if Bruce needed to hear some truth, then he could ignore the bile tanging at the back of his throat.
‘Yes, I slept with Jason but it was an accident, a drunken mistake that I regretted the moment it happened.’
‘That’s supposed to make me feel better? That you get drunk enough to make those kinds of mistakes? That even inebriated you’d still go there?’
‘I’m not proud of it, Bruce. I was lonely and missing home and it seemed like a good idea at the time.’
‘Like the theatre? Like the fact that you’re fobbing your designs off as your mother’s?’
He stilled. Dread swamped his suffering. ‘How did you know about that?’ If Bruce said anything to anyone …
‘I pieced it together. It wasn’t hard. Everyone else might think Sofia had some sudden burst of creativity but I spent enough time with you to understand how you work. Fantasy and reality? That’s you through and through, just one lie after another. How am I ever meant to trust you knowing all this?’
Bruce didn’t understand. And if he didn’t understand, he didn’t see Gabriel for who he really was. ‘Everything I’ve done has been to protect someone else.’
‘To protect yourself more like.’
Well, I’ll protect myself now. ‘Your little black-and-white world can’t cope with the fact that there’s some grey in it, can it? Yes, I haven’t told you absolutely everything but those things don’t matter. They didn’t change how I felt about you, Bruce, and because of that, I wanted to protect you.’
‘I’ve heard all these arguments before. My father tried to convince me that my keeping his secret was what was best for the family. I tried and it failed. Everything fell apart all because I went against my gut. I thought I was helping everyone but the only person I was really worried about was myself. Because to speak the truth was more terrifying and infinitely harder.’
‘Yeah, well, the last time I decided to speak my truth I got beaten up and landed in hospital so excuse me if it’s the coward’s way out but I’d rather keep my secrets than risk breaking everything.’
‘Even if it means a broken heart?’
‘You’re breaking your own heart here, Bruce. I never wanted to hurt you so that’s why I didn’t tell you Jason and I slept together long after you two were over. I thought I’d never have the chance with you so what did it matter?’
‘It matters to me. I won’t build a relationship on lies.’
‘And I won’t build a relationship with someone who thinks I’m a bad person. Do you honestly believe that I did any of this to hurt you?’
‘It’s not what you lied about; it’s the fact that you lied.’
Gabriel had failed at doing the one thing his secrets were meant to avoid and that was hurt people.
Damned if I do, damned if I don’t.
‘Go home, Gabriel. I’m done.’ Bruce turned away and Gabriel’s heart collapsed, releasing all its anguish in a sickening flood that rose his gorge. Was that really it?
Bruce put on his goggles and started the sander. The sound drowned out any chance of talking about this any longer, not that words had been successful. It was better when they kept everything to themselves and he could rest his head in Bruce’s lap and watch the stars and keep how much he loved him locked up inside.
Had loved him.
He was done with the theatre and he was done with Bruce Clifton.
He walked outside, the fading daylight brighter and airier than the stuffiness of the theatre, but it failed to fill his lungs and clear the ache gripping his body. He stopped in the middle of the suspension bridge and looked down at the river flowing out to the coast, leaving Brachen behind. Once Sofia was better, he’d be leaving too.
His phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out and answered.
‘Hello?’
‘Gabriel, it’s Angela. Your mother’s collapsed. I’ve called an ambulance. How fast can you get here?’
Chapter Twenty
Gabriel thundered back into the theatre, and Bruce scrambled to get off the floor and onto his feet. Gabriel didn’t need to see how much their fight had taken from him, especially if he’d come back for another.
‘What—?’
Gabriel’s fingers were going double-time on his scar. ‘I know you hate me right now but Mum’s collapsed. Can you drive me home?’
Gabriel’s panic struck Bruce’s heart and an awful certainty tolled inside his mind.
Please, no.
Without a second thought, Bruce grabbed his keys and ran out to his ute. Gabriel jogged to keep up. He gunned the car down the quiet streets of Brachen. They didn’t speak, the rumble of the engine barely making it over his heart thudding in his ear.
Let us get there in time.
A few sharp turns and three minutes later they were outside the house. Gabriel jumped out of the car and ran. Bruce
