Realization dawns.
“The king is afraid of the fae?” Soren asks, shocked. “I thought it was more of a senseless hatred.”
Vespertine says, “Leith is fae.”
Soren’s mouth drops open. “Unseelie?”
The mage nods.
“And a dreamweaver?” I add.
“I believe so.”
“And you’re saying he’s afraid of himself,” Soren says with a tone of dismay.
“Afraid? Ashamed? Something like that.” Vespertine’s lips form a thin line as though he’s searching for the words. “He’s averse to himself.” He raises a finger as though to make a point. “Remember balance must exist in the universe, but also in the individual. As I understand it, being fae simply means a person has access to the universal energies as well as their own ordinary ones. Like all energy, they must exist in harmony.”
“How does it work? If I’m fae and have innate fae magic, well, why don’t I have it?” I ask.
“I mentioned that your mother suppressed it until your eighteenth birthday.”
“Why would she do that?” I ask.
If I ever wake up from this very weird dream life that I’m experiencing, I’ll have to go to therapy to process a lot of stuff, but in the meantime, it’s easier to accept it, move on, and try to get answers.
“That is not my story to tell,” Vespertine answers. “But back to magic. It’s merely an exchange of energy and it’s most readily accessed through the intuition. We have our senses: taste, sight, hearing, smell, and touch. But fae have the capacity to tap into the fields of energy within and surrounding them. But exactly how you do that is more difficult to explain. You can think of it this way, it’s the same as you know how to breathe without having to tell yourself to breathe.”
“So I have to, like, take a deep breath and find it?” I ask.
“You have to summon it.” At last, Vespertine smiles.
Chapter 20
Ineke
I close my eyes and see the frozen tundra on the shores of the Sea of Dreams. I feel cold. I dig for warmth. A flame. But only come up with ice.
Vespertine says. “Have you seen the auroras in the north?”
“Of course,” Soren says.
I nod. “My laptop’s screensaver has a photo of it and when I was in the Sea of Dreams I think I saw them. I think.”
“Those bands of light are everywhere all the time only usually you can’t see them. Ribbons of energy connect us all. Fae have it, access it, use it, and create with it. Think of all the beauty in the world before—”
“Before the king shattered us all,” Soren says dismally, breaking my concentration.
I blink my eyes open.
“Not all,” Vespertine says with one finger lifted.
Vespertine clutches the red stone. The fire in front of us flickers and a bit of the flame hops into his hand before punctuating the dark space on the other side of the cave. He repeats the motion and two glowing orbs dot the air.
Vespertine says, “It’s common to think along a linear path. As though there are only two points and they,” he draws a line between the two balls of light, “connect like this. What if—?” He pauses and all of a sudden, many orbs float in the air around the cave. Beams of light jump between them, connecting them, interweaving, and creating circuitous connections. “What if life and death and everything in between and after is like this?” The light is alive, pulsing, vibrating, and shifting. “Wrap your head around this concept, and I’m certain you’ll see things differently...feel things differently, Kiki.”
Each of the beams of light returns to the ring of stones in front of us, and the fire blazes once more.
“Dreamweavers have an easier time tapping into this energy when they’re asleep because their intuition—the feeling part of them—is aware that there’s something they need to see, understand, know, or do. Kiki, I believe you can access your magic and maybe other fae gifts as well. In fact, you must.”
“No pressure or anything,” I mutter, thinking of the message and curse.
Vespertine puts a log on the fire. The flames form a curtain between him and us. Then all at once, a dark figure cloaked in shadow rises up. Fae cower at his feet. At his back, bodies burn in the ashpit. The people of Raven’s Landing writhe in pain as their skin turns black with ink. It’s ugly, devastating, and brutal.
I can’t bear to look at it another moment. I inhale deeply as I get to my feet with the urge to blow on the fire and put it out. I want to kill the vision, but my hands rise in front of me as if of their own will and a blast of icy white and blue electric magic shoots from my palms, freezing the flames. My chest rises and falls from the effort, and I lower back onto the bench. My mind is officially scrambled eggs and toast. How the heck did I do that?
Vespertine’s flinty eyes gaze upon me approvingly. “You must do what you know is right despite the outcome. Despite fear. Be strong, be courageous, be loyal, but most of all remember why you do it. Love? Freedom? Truth?”
“All of the above,” I whisper, still out of breath.
It’s nearly dawn by the time I fall asleep, obsessing over the strange, cold surge that escaped from me, extinguishing the fire. I try to find it again, but it also
