I force a smile, nibbling at the inside of my cheek. Is he saying he doesn’t want to shag me? As in ever? Not that I want him to want to shag me but…
Oh my God, Kass, shut the fuck up.
“Thanks. I feel real special.” I cradle my legs to my chest, hugging them to my body and resting my chin on top of my knees. It’s getting chilly out. “How is that a good hookup spot though? What’s your line? Hey, want to go fuck in a tree?”
“Who says I need a line? Chicks get all mushy when you show them your childhood tree house,” he jokes—I think?
“Is that why you brought me here? To make me mushy?”
He looks up and smiles.
“Nah. I brought you here for that.”
My mouth dips open when I catch the distant mingle of colors blending through the trees. We have a perfect shot of the rising sun from up here.
“Holy shit.”
“I know,” he whispers.
We don’t say a word for over five seconds.
“Can we just never leave?” I ask.
“We’re going to have to, eventually. Preferably before you turn into a block of ice.”
So, he noticed how cold I am.
“I’m fine,” I lie.
He doesn’t say another word, removes his jacket, that he found lying in the back seat of his car earlier, and drops it on my shoulders, no questions asked.
I heave a chuckle. “You’re the most confusing guy on earth, you know that? One second you’re talking about shagging in a tree, and the next you’re giving a girl your jacket.” I stare up at him. “I feel sorry for anyone who’s ever had the misfortune of falling in love with you.”
When the words escape my lips, a mix of emotions race through his eyes. Pain, annoyance, or is it… shame? He avoids my gaze, suddenly colder than I am.
“Trust me.” He pauses. “I’m sorry, too.”
Woah, do I smell a backstory?
Just as I’m working up the courage to ask, he rises to his feet. “It’s getting late. Or early. Whatever. We should go.”
He’s making his way back down before I can even attempt to adjust to his mood shift. Confused, I rear myself up, smooth my wrinkled, still-wet clothes down, and mirror his actions.
It’s past six a.m. when Will’s car comes to a slow stop in front of my house. I’m 99 percent certain my high is over, but then again, when we needed the GPS on the way back, I forgot my own address.
“Hey, you never answered me earlier,” I remind him.
Will pushes the gear into park, drops his head against the headrest, and sends a glance my way. He can barely keep his eyes open, just as exhausted as I am.
“You said you wanted to release me. But not from what.”
“From yourself,” he says like it should be obvious.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“All that pressure you put on your shoulders, this obsession you have of controlling everything, to please everybody, it’s eating at you.”
“There’s nothing wrong with a little planning,” I counter.
“Fine, don’t believe me. Keep it all bottled up. The quiet ones make the best explosions.”
Then, because this night isn’t absurd enough already, my genius self decides to add, “Is this a silent fart joke?”
Never mind, still high.
Will laughs quietly, shaking his head like he’s wondering what he’s going to do with me. His dark blue eyes mix with mine.
“Anyone ever tell you you’re fucking ridiculous when you’re high?”
That’s when it hits me.
Shit, I’m attracted to him.
Not only am I attracted to him, I’ve been attracted to him this entire freaking night. A week ago, I didn’t even see his charm, much less appreciate it, but now… I can’t deny my body’s reaction to his dimples, those ocean eyes, that laugh.
“What I meant is you let people walk all over you,” he continues. “Like that friend of yours, Zoey. She treats you like trash and you don’t even bat an eye. You’re obsessed with controlling every stupid little thing in your life because you let others control you.”
“Zoey? That’s your argument? I’m just being a good friend.”
He’s not going down without a fight. “Aight. What about the time I pushed you in the pool two summers back? You never tried to get back at me. Never even said a thing.”
I remember that time all too well. It marked the beginning of my boycotting of Kendrick’s friends.
“Maybe I’ve been planning my revenge for months, you ever think about that?”
He scoffs. “You’re not. I’d know.”
“Nobody plans a murder out loud.”
Rather than answering, he leans forward, wearing a confident smile. I stiffen as he breaches my space. Our eyes lock through the darkness of the car: his, teasing, mine, nervous and alert. He’s not so close that I could call him out on it, but also not far enough for me to act unfazed.
I hold my breath when he leans in some more. Then he reaches for my handle and pushes my door open.
Relief takes up all the space in my chest. Except it’s laced with something else. The most unexpected emotion.
Disappointment.
He reclines into his seat. “One day it’s all going to be too much. You’re going to lose it. And it’s going to be fucking amazing.”
I don’t let the thought in. Not even for a second. He’s way off-base here. Yes, Zoey can be a little selfish sometimes, I’ll give him that, but she’s a good person at heart.
“Whatever floats your boat, Willy.” I unbuckle my seat belt, shake off his speech, and climb out of the car, keeping the door open long enough to say, “Thanks for sticking with me tonight. It was…” I pause. “Something.”
He smiles.
“Anytime, control freak.”
I find myself grinning at the nickname. I know control freak is an insult, a mean thing to say, but the way he says it… it sure doesn’t feel like it. I wave, shut the door, and jog toward my house. As soon as it engulfs
