Tidye sniffled and gave a sheepish smile. “You mean they watched me fall.”
“At least you got a chance. That’s still something.”
“But I felt like if we could win medals, we would really show everyone what we can do.”
“I know, but Mack, Jesse, Ralph, and all of the other fellas are showing exactly what Negroes are capable of, but us girls, we’ve got to stop worrying about the finish line and focus on the starting line. If we can get more of us competing, we’ll have more chances to win. Don’t you see? We need more of us in the game!”
“I’m sorry. You’re right. I know you are.” She leaned forward and kissed Louise on the forehead. “Now let’s go get you on that starting line.”
Louise lifted Tidye from the bed and helped her hobble to the lounge, to one of the few chairs scattered in the room. Once Louise settled her friend, she leaned against the cold white plaster wall, waiting for everyone to convene. She couldn’t sit, not with her mind turning over and over with a mess of thoughts. Dee would pick Helen, of that Louise had no doubt. Helen’s winning time during the Olympic trial finals in Providence had been 11.7 seconds. None of the other women had broken twelve seconds in any of their runs and most of their times were bunched pretty close together. For the last month, Louise had mentally reviewed all of their results countless times in her head, but she couldn’t shake the suspicion that Dee wouldn’t rely on past times alone.
Dee entered, last to arrive, and cleared her throat. “Ladies, thank you for all of your hard work over the last few weeks as we’ve trained and prepared for these Games. I know everyone is hopeful about this relay team. The German women have a strong foursome and they’re going to be tough to beat. We need to put out a team with the most experience and speed. Like all of you, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about the right racers for this challenge. After a great deal of consideration, I’ve decided that the team will consist of Helen, Betty, Annette, and Harriet. We don’t have much time left, but we’ll spend it practicing hand-offs and then I’ll decide on racing order.”
Murmurs from the women broke out. Louise lowered her face, afraid to see the looks of exuberance on the four who had been selected and anguish on those who hadn’t, but Tidye’s voice rang out clear and angry. “Why did you bring all of us here, if you were going to stick with a group you’ve known the longest?”
A low mumble of agreement spread among the eight women and everyone looked at Dee expectantly.
“I’m doing the best I can. I’m sorry.”
Harriet pulled a handkerchief from the pocket of her dress and blew her nose. “I know all of you are thinking that I shouldn’t be the fourth racer, but the truth is I’ve been working my tail off. I’ve earned my spot.”
At this, the room erupted into chaos. From her seat, Tidye wagged her finger at Harriet while Helen implored everyone to calm down and Betty and Annette looked like they wanted to disappear. As Dee tried to talk over the shouting, Louise felt her face grow hot. She slipped from the room.
Twice. Twice she had made it this far only to be denied competition. Why had she done this to herself again? If the AOC was willing to let Helen Stephens, its fastest racer, suffer the indignity of being branded a fraud by the Poles, what made her think she would have anyone fighting for her? She marched outdoors into the Friesenhaus’s garden. Maybe she would leave, keep walking, go find Mack, and never return to her teammates, but as she stepped outside onto the warm paving stones of the courtyard, she heard someone calling her name.
“Louise? Wait!”
She turned to see Olive hurrying toward her.
“This is the worst, huh?” Olive asked. She pulled a silver flask from the cardigan of her navy-blue sweater and held it out. “Want to take the edge off?”
Louise waved it away. She didn’t want to take the edge off. She wanted to feel every ounce of her anger because she’d have to push it all down and go out before the public to support her team. “I’m mad at myself for believing there was a chance it would work out differently. When I started running as a girl, I loved the feeling of being fast and powerful, but over the years it became about . . . about so many other things.” She had run because of guilt, because of promises she made, because it felt like the only opportunity available to her.
“We’ve been at this for a long time. Remember when that girl cheated us out of a first-place finish during a time trial? Was that in Malden or Medford? That was a long time ago.”
Louise felt her throat thicken, her chest heat in anger. “And here we are, eight years later, being disappointed again.”
“Dee’s never been one of my favorites. I was only fifteen when we went to Amsterdam, and she was never very friendly. Poor Betty actually had to room with her the whole time. Still, I was glad when a woman was given the job to coach us. And it’s not like she’s getting a fair shake, working and dealing with all of this pressure without even getting paid.” Olive gave Louise a knowing look. “There’s controversy on the men’s relay team too. Marty Glickman and Sam Stoller have been bumped off the roster to make room for Ralph and Jesse, but everyone is saying it’s politically motivated because Marty and Sam are Jewish.” She gave a weary shake of her head. “This whole thing can be heartbreaking, but it’s all I know. Do you think you’ll keep doing it?”
It’s all I know.
Louise peered past the walls of the courtyard. Was running all she knew?
