“Yeah, so lucky.” I mutter under my breath, loud enough I hope he can hear me. I don’t even give a shit if he can sense my sarcasm.
“Oh, feeling sarcastic I see?” Lucien chuckles, heading to the door. He inserts the key, turns it and comes inside. “When was the last time I let you bathe, mi mascota?”
“Yesterday,” I grit out through clenched teeth.
“Ah, yes. Thank you for the reminder.” He stalks toward me, his eyes going up and down my body slowly and I know what’s about to come. “How are you feeling?” Lucien asks, and I know what he’s insinuating.
Nervousness settles in my stomach as it sinks even further. Before, I was able to fight against him . . . but not anymore. He barely feeds me enough to stand up without feeling dizzy. “I’m fine,” I reply, trying not to give him any clues on what’s going on with my body right now.
“Tsk, I don’t like that. It should be any day now. You know what they say does the trick.” Lucien unzips his pants and yanks his cock out. He wraps his hand around his shaft, getting it hard as he prepares himself for his new favorite form of punishment.
He rapes me.
It’s nothing new, but he barely did it before. It didn’t happen for a while, but then something changed within him. He could’ve gotten crazier. I don’t truly know. All I know is the way he uses me like I’m his personal whore, and now he’s made me become something I knew I wasn’t ready for.
Lucien releases his cock, grabs me by the back of my hair and shoves me down further on the ground. Nestling himself behind me, he spreads my legs by pinching my clit and shoves himself inside me.
It’s almost like my body has gotten used to the way he enters me without any preparation. Sometimes I don’t even feel the stinging pain. He rocks himself back and forth, in and out of me with no regard for how it makes me feel. He prefers the hard fuck, to slam himself inside me with such intensity that I try to crawl forward for some relief. The sound of his balls slapping against me and his awful grunting are the only things I hear. “We’re going to get this baby out of you soon, mi mascota. Do you know what will happen to you then?”
I don’t answer him because I don’t want to.
He digs his nails into my clit until I scream from the overload of pain. But, just as I reply he releases the intense pinch and grazes his thumb over my clit over and over again until I feel the warmth pooling in my center. “No, what?”
I always believed a common misconception about women who were raped, how they couldn’t cum. Being with Lucien for this long has shown me how the body will react in ways, betraying our minds. I’ve never wanted to give him the satisfaction of making him believe he’s brought me to release. One thing about Lucien is how he’ll take what he wants.
“I’ll keep you here, locked in this prison for the rest of your days. I’ll marry a prestigious woman who will take care of the bastard children you provide me with. After all, if you didn’t want to give me children you wouldn’t have gotten pregnant in the first place.” He snickers, truly believing what he’s thinking. God, what a delusional man.
The thoughts of his insanity pour through my mind as he brings my body to the brink. I know he’s doing this because he wants this baby to be born as soon as possible. “Hopefully what happened the first time won’t happen with our next child. Hmm, mi mascota?”
I stare at the wall in front of me, focusing in on the small details of the plaster. My eyes fill with water as I remember the pain that took over my body the first time I became pregnant with Lucien’s child. I didn’t know until the miscarriage happened. All the blood and the cramping.
Until the day I die, I will always believe this has happened because of the choices I’ve made. I’m not a good person and I know everything was bound to catch up with me at some point.
Lucien is the penance I pay.
Chapter Four
“And like the moon she had a side of her so dark, that even the stars couldn’t shine on it; she had a side of her so cold, that even the sun couldn’t burn on it.”
~ Abigail J
Dante
I arrived in La Pesca, Tamaulipas early this morning. I told my father my action plan would be hitting the coastal communities first and then slowly working our way inland. This man sells flags and is American, so that’s two clues which point me in this direction.
Americans typically live in the coastal communities, and with our Halcones on the ground, we should locate this man relatively fast. My father even had our cousin Eduardo put feelers out there that when we find the girl, as long as she’s alive, we’ll pay those who aided us in her rescue handsomely.
Eduardo is sitting across from me on the beach. We’re in a small tiki bar, with a few of our hired hands surrounding us. The men we’ve brought with us today are only here for one thing— to kill. It is their only job. After all, they’re Sicarios.
“I don’t typically take direction from you, dear cousin.” Eduardo explains.
I nod, picking up my cigar. “Yes, well, this is a sensitive matter.”
“A matter in which you didn’t want to pursue according to your father.” Eduardo states, staring at me for some sort of reaction. I don’t know what he expects. I won’t blow my lid.
“No, at first I didn’t . . . however my thoughts on the
