I looked at Theo, and it was like I had never looked at him before. His eyes, which I never noticed, had little flecks of grey near his irises, watched me nervously.
I inhaled deeply and smelled something warm, like a wood-burning stove. Every noise around me got louder, and I started breathing faster, which made my heartbeats speed up.
I was hyperventilating before I could stop myself. Theo was immediately leaning over me, holding either side of my face, telling me to take deep breaths. He called for a nurse, and a woman ran in. She touched my arm, and I felt each nerve react where she touched.
My body threw itself forward, trying to get off the bed. Theo grabbed my arm as I swung my legs over the side. I shook him off and then stopped, how could I fight back so easily? I was human, but more than that, I was wounded it that arm.
There were no bandages on my shoulder, and I didn’t feel any pain.
“Margo, please just relax. I can explain everything to you if you just lie back down.” Theo tried to soothe me, but each new word sent me flying further into a frenzy.
I jumped off the bed and looked between them like a cornered animal. Theo held his hands out, showing me he wasn’t going to hurt me. The nurse watched me with concern, her eyes were wide, and she had sweat on her forehead and upper lip.
“Margo,” Theo said more aggressively.
I whimpered deep within my lungs and looked at the door in my peripheral vision. I dove for the door, leaping past the nurse, and scrambled to gain my bearings. When I was four steps down the hallway, Theo’s arms circled my waist and held me to him.
I kicked and stretched my arms. He walked me back carefully and set me down on the bed. As I moved around violently, two thick straps were attached to my arms, strapping me down to the bed. The same straps were placed on my legs, I was trapped.
“Margo, listen to me, listen to my voice. I know you’re scared, but I am right here. Let me explain this to you, please. I know your instincts are telling you to run, to fight me, but I need you to listen to me now.” Theo’s voice was hard, but there was a vulnerability in it.
Tears pooled in the corners of my eyes and leaked down my cheeks. Theo kissed them, although I turned my head away.
“Margo, after you passed out, we had to rush you here. You lost a lot of blood, and the damage to our mark wasn’t allowing you to heal. The doctors were trying to save you, but there was a lot of damage,” his voice broke. I calmed myself, but my breathing was still faster than normal. “You were stable for two days, but you didn’t move at all. In the middle of the night, you started crashing. Your heart stopped. They tried to resuscitate you, but your heart wouldn’t start beating again.”
Theo placed his hand on my cheek and turned it to face him.
“I couldn’t lose you, Margo. I know that it was selfish, and I know when you truly realize what I’ve done, you’ll probably hate me, but I had to take that chance. I had to turn you.”
It was like my heart stopped beating for the second time.
“Margo, please try to understand, I did it to save you. You would have died. I couldn’t let you die, Margo, I couldn’t let you down again. I failed to save you the first two times, and I couldn’t let myself just sit there and let you be taken from me again.”
Theo was crying. Three tears escaped his eyes, but he didn’t brush them away. I tried to turn my head, but he pressed his hand more firmly.
“Little one, you are my entire world. I had to save you. I love you too much to let you go. I know that’s mean and selfish; I know that. Please, Margo, try to understand why I did this.”
I tried to sit up and was aggravated when the straps held me down. I jerked against them a few times, and then tried more violently. I was shaking, kicking, and punching the bed frame to get free. Theo leaned over my body and set his head on my thigh, crying gently.
When I stopped fighting the straps, Theo sat back up. “Margo, I know that this is scary for you. When wolves are turned for the first time, they have adrenaline pumping through them. Your strength is much greater than you think, that’s why we have to keep you here until you’ve calmed down. I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”
“Get out,” I croaked.
“Margo?” he said, surprised.
“Get out,” I growled.
“Please just-”
“Get out! Get out! Get the fuck out of here!” My screams sounded psychotic, wild, rabid. Theo’s shoulders drooped, and he hung his head. He placed his hand on the side of the bed and leaned towards me.
“Margo, I’m not going to leave you here alone.”
“You said you’d give me anything I wanted when I woke up,” I reminded him. He looked down, regretting his words. “I want you to get out.”
“No.” He continued to plead with me and tell me how sorry he was. I turned my head away and closed my eyes.
I didn’t want to hear him.
My parents told me they would love me no matter what, but I couldn’t.
Stranger's Body
I was released from the hospital the next day and returned home on the condition that Theo stayed with Gabriel. He protested greatly, but when I told him I would go back to Caddy’s pack, he promised he would not set foot in the house until I allowed him.
It felt different walking into the house alone. It felt emptier now, and not because Theo wasn’t there to take up space, but because all the little
