“Sloane,” she cautioned. “Please tell me you’re drunk again, or high, or something?”
“No, no, I am perfectly sober,” I vowed, pointing my finger out at her. I knew my words were jumbled and aggressive and not making sense, but for some reason, I needed to say them. “In fact, I think I have more clarity now than I ever had before.”
“Clarity…for killing people?” she questioned.
“I don’t know anymore, Kenna,” I admitted, leaning my arms on the sofa nearest to me. “Is this what being a Luna really is-giving kill orders?”
“Who are you ordering to be killed?” she nearly shrieked.
“No one,” I moaned. “But if I can’t stop it, it’s the same thing as ordering them dead. It’s my job to protect this pack and the women and children, but where do I draw that line? I’m supposed to take care of my mate, but he doesn’t even listen to me, I don’t even know where he is.”
“Okay,” she said patronizingly. “Why don’t we just sit down, and we can discuss this. Jonah will get us some ice cream.” She glared at him, and he quickly darted into the kitchen. “And, we will just talk about everything.”
“No,” I denied, holding my arm out. “I can’t sit down, I need to keep moving, I feel like my heart is going to explode.”
Kenna rushed to my side and grabbed my arm. “Sloane, that isn’t good, you really need to sit down.” I tried to unwind myself from her gently, but Beckett stepped forward and put his arm under my shoulder, leading me to the sofa.
“No, please,” I begged as they shuffled me onto the couch. “I need to figure this out, innocent people are going to die if I don’t figure this out.”
Kenna pushed my shoulder down into a pillow and leaned close to my face. “Sloane, this isn’t all on you. I know you care about the humans, many of us do, but you can’t take on full responsibility for them. That’s too much, it’s too big.”
“So is the death of an entire race,” I argued, lurching forward. Beckett put his hand on my shoulder and pushed me down again, glaring at me.
The front door opened, and loud steps thundered towards me.
“What’s going on?” Rush’s frantic voice pounded in my ears. He leaned over the back of the couch, staring at Beckett to give him insight.
“Sloane is freaking out,” Beckett said flatly, Kenna hit her arm against his. Rush came around the other side of the couch and sat beside me, Beckett and Kenna moved away but didn’t leave.
“Sloane,” Rush cooed, brushing my hair away from my cheek and allowing his hand to settle there. “Just breathe, okay? I’m right here, we will figure this out. Just breathe.”
“How can I breathe when we are damning an entire species to death?” I yelled, my face becoming red and hot.
“Sloane,” Rush said more demandingly. “Breathe. Stop talking, and just breathe.”
“There you go again, yelling at me, what to do, what not to-” Rush’s hand clamped down over my mouth. My eyes went wide and stared into his blue ones, looking at me with concern and authority.
“Will you be quiet and breathe?” he scolded. I took three deep breaths through my nose, and some of the tightness in my chest lightened. He took his hand from my mouth and scooted closer to me. “Now tell me, calmly, what is wrong?”
I moaned, leaned my head back, and shut my eyes.
“Sloane, please,” he begged. “I can’t fix it if I don’t know what’s wrong.”
“She was freaking out about the human’s being killed,” Kenna told him. Rush leaned back and looked at her and Beckett.
“There was an attack on the Rennen Pack,” Beckett said. “Their packhouse was burned down, nearly everyone died.”
Rush growled and gutturally grunted.
“But Sloane is worried about people dying,” Kenna urged, trying to make him pay attention to me. Rush grabbed my hand from where it covered my face and kissed the back of it.
“Sweetheart,” he said softly. “I don’t want you to worry about this. I know that this is scary for you and that this war is a big thing, but I am right here. I’m going to protect you, nothing is going to happen to you.”
I opened my eyes and glared at him, my lip snarling back. He looked surprised.
“I’m not scared of the war; I’ve seen wars before-have you met my old Alpha? I don’t need you to protect me, I need you to listen to me,” I raged.
Beckett stifled a laugh.
“Sloane, I will listen to you.”
“Right now,” I demanded.
“Right now, I think it would be best if you went upstairs and laid down for a while.” Rush slipped his arm around my waist and pulled me to my feet.
“No, right now, or you’ll go back on your word. I want you to listen to me in front of other people so you can’t tell me I’m silly or stupid. I want you to hear me.”
Rush paused and then allowed me to settle back on the couch. He smiled at me. “Okay.”
“Seriously? That worked?” I asked. He chuckled and grabbed onto my left hand. “Okay. Um, so I’ve been thinking and planning and reading up on all of our laws and human laws and everything in between. I think there might be a way that we can stop this war before it even begins. If we are the ones that offer them an olive branch, they might be willing to speak to us about more than war. Humans are ill-tempered, they’re quick to act when they’re threatened-just like we are.
“I know that this can work. Both sides are just fanning the fire that’s been burning for a while, but no one ever asked how the fire got lit. There’s a way to fix this, I know it.”
Rush
