Her eyes widened in shock. She reminded him of when he was married to Emily? Honestly, Cherish couldn’t decipher if she should’ve felt worried or extremely flattered. The fact was, he was nothing like the men she’d been raised with. He was the absolute opposite and that’s what she couldn’t let go of. He was the epitome of a great man and a wonderful individual. She didn’t know how to react to someone who doled out compliments and not heartache.
Simon ran both hands through his dark locks as he took in her silence, “Maybe I’m the only one who thought this way, but it feels like this was a long time coming. I try to ignore it, but there’s always this tension between us.” He whispered wetting his lips. Shifting in the tub, the steam clouded his glasses which caused him to pull them from his face and set them along the side.
With her bottom lip between her teeth, she nodded and pushed a curl out of her face, “Yeah.” She admitted. Nervously, she patted along the back of her tied up hair and sighed, “I understand what you mean. I…I feel it too, but I can’t acknowledge it because I know how I am when it comes to men and…”
Simon knew exactly what she meant by her issues with the men of her past. This was part of the reason why he wanted to be careful with her. Plus, he didn’t think enough time had passed since Emily left the world; not matter how ready he felt, he didn’t feel right to move on so soon.
Sighing, Cherish looked out at the expanse of white and towards the darkened mountain shadows, “…your kiss didn’t feel like Todd’s. I felt more in those short seconds than I’ve felt in my three years with him…” Turning her head, she stared at him and, even though she felt sick to her stomach, continued, “…and that’s what scares me the most. There’s so much that I could lose because of how I feel about you.” She whispered quietly
Simon couldn’t deny the butterflies through his core, “I know what you mean. It’s big and I can’t…” He got tangled in his words which was normally bad news for a lawyer; not a lover. “…I can’t imagine losing you and Jasmine. The last thing I want to do is chase you away by giving into…” He shook his head and motioned between them, “…this so soon.”
She felt more at ease with the fact that he acknowledged, reciprocated, and respected her decisions. Not only did he not push her into something they weren’t ready for, but they still could be completely open and honest with one another. Cherish broke into a soft smile as she sighed, “Jr. is my life. I love that little boy as much as Jasmine. You and your family took me in and gave me something that I’ve never had. All without anything in return. Emily made such an impression on me that, I can’t imagine disrespecting her. We both have a lot to heal from and…”
She sighed, “…I don’t want you to think that…what I’m trying to say is…fuck.” She whispered tilting her head to the side, “I don’t think now is a good time for us. What we have right now is amazing, but I don’t want to make our parents think we’re trying to replace Emily. I keep in mind who they thought I was the morning after the hospital, and I don’t want to disappoint them. I want to clarify though, no matter what, you will never chase me away. You have done so much for Jasmine and me that…I could never in a million years turn my back on you or Jr. You have us forever.” She whispered to him.
He nodded before lowering his gaze. To him it was still vague on what they were doing. Were they choosing to ignore their feelings indefinitely? Or were they waiting for an undetermined amount of time? Now he had the worry that she’d never accept their possible relationship because of her persistent dedication to his dead wife. The day he buried Emily, he noted that his relationship was over, no matter how badly it hurt.
He had his knuckles pressed to his mouth before he sighed and lifted his head, “You know we feel the same about you and…” He rolled his eyes upward because they both knew how over the top his family was, “…something tells me that this will be more disappointing to them.” He said with a gentle smile. Even though he tried to act as though nothing had changed, that annoying downtrodden emotion persisted.
Looking him over, she could tell almost automatically he was bothered. She’d studied him in silence for longer than she dared admit; knowing his ins and outs. She had him pegged down to his mannerisms before he’d escape to the bathroom for solitude. Consumed with this man and the life he gave her, Cherish pinched against her bottom lip. She waded closer and rested against his side. Simon’s stomach flinched from the bottom as she glanced up at him and perked an eyebrow, “What else is bothering you?” she asked. Holding a finger up, water cascaded down her dark arm and dripped beneath them, “And don’t lie to me. You know you can tell me anything.”
The fact that she was able to always know when he wasn’t right shined a light on how trustworthy she was to him. Sighing, he gave her a defeated smile and shook his head and looked towards the water fleetingly. He didn’t think he could look her in those gorgeous eyes just yet, “I agree with you and I know you’re right.
