Margaret looked at Simon and saw the same, vacant expression he’d worn over the last three days. She dabbed at her reddened eyes before she turned to her left and saw Emily’s parents. Jack rocked slightly back and forth while Miriam’s moans hummed through the silence.
A woman from halfway down stood with a sheet of paper in her hands, “I have something to say.” She whispered. Making her way down the aisle, she passed by Emily, and quickly shut her eyes as she took the stage. Her hands shook nervously as she rolled her shoulders back and looked over the crowd, “My name is Heather Brinkley and I was Emily’s best friend. We grew up together on the same street and lived in the same dorm through college. Emily went for business and I was the odd, wild child who barely passed. She kept me sane and stayed on me to keep my grades up…” Heather’s voice cracked as she looked down at Emily beneath her, “…I will never forget her, and I will always be thankful for what she’s done. When she met Simon an-and he adored her. I was the maid of honor in their wedding four years ago and she was so happy. So…so happy that she’d found the man of her dreams. I had to move away to Connecticut for work and I will say that I will always regret the decision. She called me when she was pregnant with Simon Jr., and I kept putting off when I could come down to see her. I told her, I would be there a few days after he was born…” Breaking down, Heather lowered her head and held her breath as she tears streamed down her face. The paper crinkled in her tight grip, “…I didn’t know it’d be like this. I’m so sorry, Emily. I’m so sorry…” Folding the paper, she quickly wiped her eyes and stepped away. Walking down the steps, she looked in on Emily’s face and mouthed “I love you” before she returned to her seat.
The aura in the room went from sad to tearful as the pastor returned to the podium, “Anyone else?” he asked quietly. One by one, people came forth and shared their memories of the young, vibrant woman that once graced the earth. Coming forth one final time, the pastor asked if anyone was left.
Simon found the strength to do what scared him most. Walking towards the podium, he stopped the moment she came into direct view and stared at her; frozen in place. The entire room fell silent. Cherish craned her neck to see what was going on and met his face from afar.
Oh no.
Swallowing, he took a step forward and faced the audience behind the microphone. With a sniff, he collected himself and cleared his throat, “Thank you…everyone for coming. I’m Simon Gabot, Emily’s husband…” Feeling himself crumble, he paused blinking the water from his eyes and fighting to speak, “…I still can’t believe she’s gone.”
As his voiced filtered through the room, people around began to break down and cry. Cherish cupped a hand over her mouth and lowered her head. Her heart broke.
Saying what many people felt, he released a heavy sigh, “All I want is to have her back, to live the life she deserved, and grow old together…” His voice faded into a hush. His fists clenched against the podium, “…it still feels like you’re here with me, but you’re not.” He whispered. Coming to terms, he spoke the last part with rationality, “Not in a conventional way, but you’ll always be with me, Jr., our parents, and our friends…. excuse me.” Pulling out a tissue, he cleaned himself for a second. Wiping his nose, he shoved it back in his pocket and continued, “I was blessed to have you and that you shared your life with me. That you…created a life with me.” He gave a listless laugh, “I was never worthy of you, not by a longshot, but you were my soulmate and I love you Emily. I always will.” Tears fell, and he quickly wiped them away. His heart broke all over again for the hundredth time since he brought Jr. home. This time hurt the most, “I-I’ll always remember you. The special memories only we had. Stories only we know and…even though you didn’t get to meet Jr.” He stopped.
Pressing his arm to his face, he sobbed. This broke him the most. To know his son didn’t have a mother. Margaret shook in her seat as she held a balled tissue to her chest. Between her blurred vision was the sight of her son at his worst. Her bottom lip curled under and finally, she broke under the pressure and leaned into her husband’s side.
Again, he pushed through to finish what he needed. It couldn’t be left unsaid, “E-Even though you never met, when he asks me who his mommy was, I can…I can tell him what an amazing woman you were. He’ll know you. He’ll be glad to be your son and know you love him.” He whispered wiping his face with the tissue again. Leaving, he was completely wracked with emotion once he’d sat down.
Margaret pulled his head onto her shoulder and held him there, “Everything is going to be okay, my love. We will get through this together.” She whispered kissing his head.
As he cried, Simon reached out for his son. He wanted to hold him and show him the love his mother couldn’t. Before long the pastor bowed his head and said one, last prayer for Emily before the director took over, “Alright everyone, we’re going to give the chance for you all to speak to Emily and the family before we go to her final resting place.”
As mourners made their way
