“But you loved her,” I objectedhotly. “Loved her enough not to hurt her despite your nature. Youcan’t blame yourself for that.”
He gave me a smile that had a touch ofgenuine humor in it.
“Listen to yourself, Addison. Are you, anAuditor, actually advocating a human/vampire relationship insteadof condemning it?”
“Well, no…” I frowned, feeling confused. Ithad always seemed so black and white to me before—humans andvampires mixed sexually like oil and water. No, more like nitro andglycerin. A successful physical relationship between the two shouldbe flatly impossible—it was like a hungry lion trying to make loveto a wounded antelope without ripping its throat out.
And yet, somehow, Corbin had made me seethings in a whole different light.
“Well?” Corbin stood there staring at me, anunreadable expression on his face.
“I guess…I guess I’m just advocating love,”I said at last. “No matter…who it is doing the loving.”
“Thank you,” Corbin said quietly. “That’svery tolerant of you, Addison.”
I frowned. “Don’t try to make me out to besome kind of a racist here, Corbin. The reason I don’t believe invampire/human sex is because the human almost always looks like heor she went through a meat grinder when it’s all over.”
He raised an eyebrow at me. “Almostbeing the operative word, I believe. At least, in our case,darling.”
I could feel my cheeks getting hot again butI refused to drop my eyes. “We never had sex—not really,” I pointedout, crossing my arms over my chest. “You may have, uh, gone downon me but I would never, never risk going all the way—withyou or any other vamp.”
He looked angry. “Do you still not believein my self-control? My ability to be gentle?”
“Sure, with the love of your life,” I shotback. “But I’m not her, Corbin. I’m not Janet—I’m just agirl you happen to have a business arrangement with.”
“Do you really think you mean so little tome?” he asked quietly. “Do I mean so little to you,Addison?”
I shifted on the bed uncomfortably. “Thepoint is that once Roderick leaves town, our arrangement is over.And honestly, Corbin…” I sighed. “That’s probably a good thing.We’ve been getting in pretty deep here—I don’t know about you butI’m way over my head with this…whatever it is we’ve gotgoing here.” I gestured aimlessly, not sure exactly how to put whatI felt into words.
“And this is really how you feel? That youwant nothing more than to have our arrangement over and donewith?” He took a step toward the bed. “Answer me honestly, Addison.Tell me what is really in your heart.”
What was really in my heart was confusion.Confusion and pain. I hurt for him after hearing his tragicstory—he seemed human to me now in a way no vampire other thanTaylor ever had before. And yet, the idea of being with him on apermanent basis, of actually trying to have a relationship withhim…
“I don’t know,” I said at last, shaking myhead. “I can’t…I mean, I’m an Auditor, Corbin. It would belike a judge dating a Mob boss. And besides, you’re a vampire—”
“Which means I am not to be trusted, nomatter how often I prove myself trustworthy,” he said flatly.
“Yes, I mean, no, I mean…” I shook myhead. “Look, can you tell me that tonight when we were…uh…”
“While I was licking your sweet, creamypussy?” he murmured, taking another step toward me.
“Sure, right.” My cheeks were hot but Icontinued doggedly. “While you were doing that, can you tell methat even just once for a fraction of a second you didn’tconsider getting on top of me, sinking your fangs in and drainingme dry while you fucked me to death?”
He looked at me for a long, long moment andthen turned away to face the dying embers of the fire.
I took his silence for assent. “See? Thatinstinct is always there, no matter how you try to fight it. All itwould take was one single instant, one momentary loss ofself-control—”
Corbin turned to face me again and this timethe look in his eyes was cold.
“I was thinking nothing except how beautifulyou were and how much pleasure it gave me to give you pleasure. Totaste you and make you come. I thought you trusted me tonight,Addison—that maybe there was something in your heart for me besidessuspicion and anger at my kind.”
“Corbin—”
“I see now that I was wrong.” He shook hishead. “I suppose what happened between us tonight was no more thana ‘momentary loss of self-control’ on your part. A stupid lapse injudgment that you never intend to repeat.”
The way he threw my own words back in myface stung, as did his assessment of the night’s activities.Mainly, because, it meshed so neatly with my own. He was right—Ishouldn’t have let a vampire go down on me. I had trusted him notonce but twice and twice I had gotten away with it. But it was likedodging a bullet—how often could I do it without getting shot? Howfar could I go, how many times could I gamble before I lost in themost deadly way possible?
“You’re right, Corbin,” I said, getting offthe bed. “It was a lapse in judgment and I don’tintend to repeat it.”
“A point you have made abundantly clear,” hegrowled. He walked over to the heavy bank vault door and threw itopen as easily as though it was made of cardboard. “Go, Addison. Ithink it’s time you left for the night.”
That stung even worse because I couldn’thelp remembering the way he’d begged me to stay the night before.How he’d wanted me to sleep in his arms. Those same strong armsthat had carried me and sheltered me from Roderick’s rage when itwould have been much easier to let me die or be mind-raped intooblivion.
But there was no way I was going to letCorbin know how hurt and confused I was. That would be weak and ifthere was one thing I had learned about vampires, it was to nevershow weakness around them.
“Fine.” I started to march toward the doorand nearly tripped over the crazy high heels I was still wearing.Leaning down, I tried to get them off. I managed the first one wellenough but the buckle on the second ankle
