“You’re in the Med Center recovering from surgery. Don’t try to talk—just speak to me through our bond,” Imani told him. “We ought to practice mental communication anyway—we need to get used to being bonded.”
“But…I thought you didn’t want to be bonded to me?” He frowned up at her uncertainly. “Thought you didn’t want to leave your home and your family?”
“Wherever you are is my home now,” Imani told him. “And the three of us will be a family.”
Taking his hand, she placed it gently on her belly.
J’are felt a hesitant sense of joy but then he came crashing back down to earth when he remembered how the baby had gotten in her belly in the first place.
“I hurt you, Imani,” he sent through their link, not bothering to try and hide his shame and guilt. “I don’t deserve you—or the happiness you’re offering me.”
“We got off to a rough start,” she admitted. “But I forgive you for that, J’are—I forgive myself, too. We both went much further than we should have. But, well…” She shrugged. “Here we are. We’re together and I love you and want to be with you.” She looked at him shyly. “Do you feel the same way about me?”
“Imani…” Her name broke from his lips and he was reaching for her, dragging her down to the bed with him so that he could hold her close in his arms.
“Be careful!” she exclaimed breathlessly, as she snuggled beside him. “You just got out of surgery a few hours ago!”
“I feel good—I feel strong,” he promised, kissing her forehead. “And I love you so much! I knew you were the one the Goddess meant to Claim me—at least my feral side knew. I tried not to listen, not to hope too hard, but all the time I wanted you so desperately.”
“Well, you’ve got me now.” Imani sighed contentedly and put her arms around him, squeezing gently. “We’ve got each other.”
“Where will we live, though?” J’are asked uncertainly. “I know you don’t want to go back to my home world.”
“We will if we have to,” Imani told him firmly. “Wherever we end up, the main thing is that we’re together.”
“Together,” J’are echoed. “I love you,” he added aloud.
“I love you too.” Tilting her chin up, she kissed his cheek. “Now get some rest and we’ll talk about the future more later. For now, knowing that you’re going to be okay is enough for me.”
J’are relaxed in her embrace, feeling like the luckiest male in the universe. But a part of him still worried about their bonding night—still felt shame for how it had gone. It was well and good that Imani had forgiven him, but he hadn’t forgiven himself.
He didn’t know if he ever would.
Forty-Four
Imani gave her new mate a worried look as the clock above the fireplace chimed nine in soft, measured tones.
One of the things she liked about the suites aboard the Mother Ship was that all of them had a fireplace and a bathing pool. They weren’t as luxurious as the vast mansions and expensive hotels she’d visited on Yonnie Six but they were really nice. They also didn’t have sadistic Mistresses everywhere, so she was fine with being on the ship.
Not that they could stay on the Mother Ship—not for much longer anyway, she thought, her mind running over the worry that had been dogging her morning and evening.
The Kindred High Council still didn’t believe that Nightwalker Kindred were safe enough to live in close proximity to other people. J’are was only allowed to stay a short time, until he was declared fully recovered. After that, they would have to find someplace else to live.
But where?
Imani didn’t know. She only knew that as long as she and J’are were together, they would be okay.
Only now, she had doubts about that, too.
J’are had been discharged from the Med Center almost a week ago. He was completely well, as far as Imani could see. She had the idea that Commander Sylvan was deliberately holding off on clearing him completely in order to give them time to get their plans in order. He was also talking to the High Council about the possibility of allowing J’are to stay aboard the Mother Ship, under the presumption that he was safe to be around because he was bonded, but so far he hadn’t made much progress.
Well, the Council didn’t need to be worried about J’are, Imani thought, casting a sidelong look at her new mate. Even though the clock had just struck nine o’clock at night, he still showed no signs of going into his feral state. In fact, he hadn’t gone feral since the two of them had come aboard the Mother Ship over a week ago.
This was worrying for Imani. At first she had wondered if her new mate wasn’t switching to his feral side at nighttime as he was supposed to because they were in an artificial environment with no moons in the sky to trigger him. But now, watching J’are from the corner of her eye and seeing the strained look on his face, she thought there must be a different explanation.
J’are wasn’t going feral because he wasn’t letting himself go feral. He was holding it back, somehow. Although how he could hold back part of himself that was as natural as breathing was beyond her. She had spoken about it briefly with Liv, who was a doctor. Liv had made some suggestions and given her some equipment to try, but Imani hadn’t made use of it yet.
But it wasn’t just his refusal to go feral that was worrying Imani. It was the fact that her new mate hadn’t touched her once since being discharged from the Med Center.
Oh, he hugged her when she hugged him first and was willing to cuddle on the couch. But when Imani tried to take things any further, he suddenly had to get up and go
