“No. The complications you’re talking about all stem from one thing, one person. It’s not your fault.”
She pulled back, eyeing me incredulously. “Do you really believe that, or are you just being nice because of this?” she asked, gesturing to her belly.
I smiled. She was hella cute when she was feeling vulnerable. I knew she hated it, hated putting herself out there in any way and risking her heart in that way. She went to great lengths to avoid ending up in any situation where she wasn’t in full control as top dog.
I got that real well. Hell, we were the same when it came to that. It was survival instinct. Given my dark childhood, I knew all about that, doing whatever it took to make it through and fucking well thrive.
And because I got it, I knew what she really needed. In fact, I was the only one who understood her like that, the only one who knew how to handle her.
And it worked both ways.
I cupped her face gently in my hands, her eyes connecting with mine, just the way I needed so I could read her properly.
“First off, I’m always nice.”
She arched her eyebrow in challenge.
“Fine. With you. I’m always nice with you.”
“That’s better,” she agreed.
I shifted my weight as I held her. “Second, yeah, I do believe it. You met that shithead when you were young and way more naïve. You had no clue about the obsessive psycho he was. He hides it well. The whole thing forced your hand on some extremely difficult decisions, including the thing with the club. I don’t blame you.”
“Cole,” she said, urgency spilling from her. “I ran from the clubhouse and from you, because I thought it would protect you and the boys from Nik's wrath. My normal survival instinct sparked to life at first because it’d been so ingrained in me for years, but that day, you managed to trump that. That’s when I first really knew that I loved you.” Pain flashed in her eyes. “I wish so much that my survival instincts hadn’t led me first though, then the thing with Mason never would have—”
I pressed my finger to her lips. “Shh. It’s all okay. I know, baby, I know. And I get it. You were stuck between a rock and a hard place. I wasn’t there for you when you needed me, you were scared, and it made you desperate.”
She eased my hand away to tell me, “But it’s not in the past to Mason and we’re heading right to him and the rest of your club that hates me.”
“All that hate he has for you is a goddamn mask he’s been using to cover up the fact that he crossed a line.” I blew out a breath, bracing myself to reveal a truth neither me nor Mason had ever been able to admit. That denial was the reason the rift in our friendship had never fully mended. “He fucking well wanted you and he was gonna have you that day, in spite of me.”
“I know. I hadn’t expected such an… enthusiastic response from him.”
“Yeah, so that’s why it’s hate with him rather than distrust toward you like it is with the rest of the boys. It’s his own fucking fault.”
“Everyone makes mistakes, Cole. We need to make peace.”
I could only grunt.
Even if I had the inclination, it would be a major uphill battle to fix everything. A fucking headache is what it would be, and I had more than enough to sort right now.
Off her look, I added, “We’ll see.” And then I refocused on what I needed to tell her, what I wanted to make damn sure she knew. I settled my arms back around her. “I’m not here with you only because you’re pregnant. But it is the wake-up call we both needed to finally get our shit together, to stop letting all that external shit control us. It’s put things in perspective, big time. I’ve wanted this for a long while, Natasha. And I’m not backing down. Not this time. Not ever. Not for anything or anyone.”
“Yeah,” she said, smiling. “Okay.”
“Are you okay? With the baby? With everything else?” She hadn’t said much at all. She’d just gone along with me, which was strange in itself. She was normally so forthright and fiercely independent.
“I'm still a little shell-shocked. I never thought my life would allow for anything normal like a baby and a family. But now it’s here, I’ve got this anxiety in the pit of my stomach that just won’t go away.”
“It’s okay to be scared about having a kid, being parents. It’s a huge deal for anyone, let alone two people who lead fucked-up lives like us.”
“It’s not just that. I’m scared of… of losing it… the baby, then you again. There’s so much standing in our way, so many threats surrounding us. What if—”
“No, baby. That’s not going to happen and I’m not going anywhere. No matter what. I swear it.”
“So, we end this together.”
I nodded. “We’ll deal with Nik, sort things with the club and make it safe for our kid.” I pulled her tighter to me and breathed her in. “Together.”
10
~Natasha~
ADRENALINE SPIKED.
My pulse hammered wildly. My breathing came in rapid, strained pants.
I tightened my hold around Cole’s waist. I heard him grunt as, in the midst of my panic, I inadvertently squeezed a little too tightly.
“Cole!” I hissed in his ear, hoping he’d be able to hear me over the thunder of his Harley roaring down yet another seemingly endless two-lane back road.
“I know,” he said, turning his head enough so I could hear him, while he still kept an eagle-eyed focus on the winding road.
I shot another glance over my shoulder at the unmarked van and Suzuki that’d been tailing us for the last ten minutes. The bike’s rider was sporting a Strikers MC cut. I shuddered when I realized
