"Not to mention bad dress sense and boyfriendless spinsterhood," I added playing along. I almost added "and gay" following the conversation with my mother and sister, but I didn't. I could see that my mother was still terribly concerned. She'd been looking at me oddly and when I was in my dad's study the other day looking for a pen that actually worked, I saw that she'd been looking online reading articles with titles like "My child is gay. So what?" and "Raising a gay daughter."
Mike flopped down on my bed with such force that for a second I fell backwards onto him. The entire side of my body that had just come into contact with him, burst into flames. A sudden rampant bush fire that incinerates a whole field in seconds and burns so hot that it turns stones to glass.
I sat up as quickly as possible and moved away from the source of the heat.
"What? Do I smell?" he said and pulled his shirt up to his nose giving it a big revolting whiff. I could see he'd been exercising, his face was glowing and his forehead was slightly damp. His eyes were lit up and his cheeks slightly flushed. He ran his hand over his forehead and into his hair and some of the wet bits stuck up in funny directions and I was suddenly overcome with a desire to flick a strand so that it sticks up ever further. I clenched my fists instead. God, he looked so cute right now. Maybe if he wasn't so good looking I wouldn't be such a hopeless basket case? Probably not though, because unlike .% of the female population at school, his looks are not why I like him.
"You stink," I said, playing along and swatting the air.
"Sorry," he suddenly jumped off the bed and then did something that almost caused me to faint (and was probably the worst possible thing he could have done under the circumstance.) He whiped his shirt off and fanned himself with it. He walked over to my window looking like a hot male stripper (not that I really know what one looks like) and proceeded to sit down on the windowsill. Heaven help me.
I looked away immediatly. Even though I'd seen him shirtless a million times before, it felt different this time. Especially when I thought about the fact that, just a few days ago, my fingers had been pressed against that chest. I cleared my throat unnecessarily and picked up something useless to fiddle with.
My heart went from beating fast, to feeling like it was breaking in a matter of seconds when I realized how sad this whole scene really was. You know you are totally friendzoned when he's so comfortable around you that he treats you like one of the guys in the locker room.
I sighed again. This time there was nothing internal about it.
"So, I had a thought," he said perched on the windowsill. I knew I needed to act normal, so I turned around an made eye contact with him, hoping my eyes didn't involuntarily move South.
"Mmmm?" I mumble asked.
"I was thinking, that maybe mystery mint kisser isn't from our school."
Yes, she had a nickname people, and it was mystery mint kisser.
"Mmmm." I'm mumbling a lot now. But what the hell was I meant to say to that?
"What if she's one of Brenna's friends?"
"Mmmmm." My unblinking eyes are fixated on his face so unnaturally, I'm sure I looked like a creepy doll from a horror movie.
"Mmmmm?" he echoed playfully. "Is that a yes it could be, or a no it couldn't be?"
I shrugged casually, "Yeah... I guess hey. I mean... maybe and maybe not. Yeah. Anyway." I followed that useless sentence with another big shrug. I was trying to keep it all feeling so casual that it basically wasn't even a conversation. A non-conversation, that's what I wanted.
Mike laughed a little at my obviously over acted responce.
"And if she was," I asked, "How will you find out?"
Mike unexpectedly jumped off the windowsill and all his muscles did some kind of terribly hot rippling thing that should be illegal in several states. I was forced to turn away again. God I feel like such a perv sometimes.
"I'm going to have a casual get together at my house on Saturday night and ask Brenna to invite them?"
Wow! His statement made me feel like I'd just been punched in the face. I knew he was taking this thing seriously, but now it just seemed to be getting totally out of control.
"Well, enjoy yourself," I said dismissively.
"Hey. Hey." Mike rushed over to me and placed his hands on my shoulders. "You're not bailing on me."
I shook my head hard. "Hang out with Brenna and the convent brigade on a Saturday night? I'd rather let my sister give me root canal thanks."
"But I need you, Maria." He flashed a downtrodden puppy dog look at me and I wanted to slap him, kiss him, slap him, kiss.... Arrraaggg!
"Please. I need you." He pleaded again.
"What for? So I can frisk them for packets of gum as they come in?" I pulled out of his grip. That bush-fire feeling was starting again.
"If that's what it takes." He smiled at me, then winked and then make a bee line for the window and started climbing out.
"Gotta go. Bye dude."
I face palm. Maybe a bit too hard. Crap! Suddenly I wish I was gay so I wouldn't have to deal with this.
Chapter 10 – Mike
After the week I'd just had, I was looking forward to the weekend in a huge way. I'd messaged Brett last night and told
