I'm so sorry. There is nothing wrong with you or the way you are feeling.
Your mystery kisser XXXX
A part of me felt sick that I'd just wrote that to him, but when I got his response, I knew it was the right thing to do under the circumstance.
Subject: :)
Message: Thanks. I feel so much better already. Just knowing that you've been through it and it gets better. Thanks. Talking to you, even though we're not really talking, makes me feel so much better. You're the medicine I need right now.
Mike XXXXXX
From: [email protected]
Subject: :) :) :)
Message: I'm glad. I'm here for you.
Your mystery kisser XXXXXXX
Subject: No more X's
Message: Why are we sending each other typed X's, when they could be real X's?
From: [email protected]
Subject: X's
Message: For now cyber X's will have to do.
Your mystery kisser XXXXXXXXX
Subject: Well in that case...
Message: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I smiled and blushed and felt instantly girly and giggly. I'd never felt this giggly girly before- it was unfamiliar- but nice. But I also felt like I was getting myself into something that was going to be so hard to get out of. I was falling deeper and deeper into this tangled web, and deeper in love with Mike.
I climbed into bed with mixed feelings about this thing. But then a thought hit me, why hadn't Mike told me this first? The real me anyway. Instead he'd told a stranger. He's never told anyone something before me. My phone lit up with a message and I grabbed it, obviously Mike was going to tell me now.
But it was Jarrod.
Jarrod: Hey, you want to do something after school tomorrow?
The tangled web was getting deeper. I had a bad feeling about this and suddenly I wished I could take back the lie to Mike, even if it had made him feel better. Shit!
What was I doing?
Mike
"I'm telling you Brett, she's perfect."
"Perfect? Is there such a thing?"
"Well, put it this way, she's perfect for me. She even knows what I'm going through, with the divorce."
"Really?" Brett stopped walking and looked genuinely surprised. "How?"
"Her folks went through it about years ago."
"They did, did they?" Brett didn't sound convinced.
"I know what you're thinking Brett but-"
"NO!" Brett stopped me with a hand to my chest, "Trust me, you have NO idea what I'm thinking right now."
"What does that mean-"
"Yo!" I felt a sudden and very hard slap on the back. It was Chase, and Tyler wasn't far behind either. They always seemed to travel in pairs. Or in a pack when the others where around, and wherever the pack went, a sting of girls usually followed too in an almost hormone induced daze.
"You feeling ready for tomorrow?" Chase asked with a fat smile. It didn't take a psychologist to know that that smile was as fake as Emmy's mothers breasts.
I smiled back. Fake too. "Totally. You guys?" It felt like we were doing some stupid male posturing thing, and judging by the look that washed over Brett's face, he thought so too. He looked positively disguised by the male pissing contest.
"How's that second serve of yours hey?" Tyler asked in a mocking tone. It was my one weakness. And right now, with the scout coming, it was all about exploiting each other's weaknesses.
"You'll just have to wait and see won't you!" I smiled back at them both and they did the same. But behind my smile I was thinking, 'I'm going to wipe the fucking court with you both'. They were probably thinking the same thing.
Chase turned his attention to Brett now. "You should come knock some balls around with us sometime buddy...." And then he did the unthinkable. He patted his stomach and gestured to Brett's. And with that, they both turned around and swaggered off down the corridor.
"Sorry about that." I turned to apologize to Brett, but he just shrugged. He always shrugged it off, but no one could be that OK with stuff like that. Not even Brett.
"No worries, just fuck them both up tomorrow for me and win that trophy."
"Done!" I said as the bell rang and we both rushed off in opposite directions.
**
I stood at the baseline with a basket of balls and hit serve after serve after serve. I needed to practice my second serve; it wasn't as consistent as it should be. But then, I barely had to use it, because when my first serve went in, it was deadly. I've seen it push players so far off the baseline that they basically ran into the fence. A small smile tugged at the corners of my mouth. I had trained so hard, for so many years and I knew I had this. I had been building up to this moment my whole life and I had never felt better- I think my mystery mint kisser might have had something to do with that.
I had a thought as I watched a perfectly placed sliced serve skid across the court. I stopped, wiped the sweat from my fingers on my shorts and pulled out my phone.
Subject: Lucky charm
Message: So since you're at the same school as me, I guess you know there is a really important tennis tournament on tomorrow? I was wondering if you would come and watch? I'd feel so
