“What was that?” Coach Taylor’s glasses are off, and there is no mistaking the direction of his stare.
“Nothing,” Zack says, trying to erase the last ten seconds and literally eat his words.
“No, you had something to add, clearly. We all heard it. Go on.” Coach takes a few steps and the freshmen on their knees in the front crawl out of his way. Nobody wants to get caught in crossfire.
A standoff is underway between Coach and my cousin, and for an uncomfortable and full minute, I worry neither will give in. Hollis’s dad is clearly fine standing in that spot all night with his arms crossed and his heavy brow leveled at my cousin’s head. Young and stupid, though, are two qualities that can be toxic when mixed, and my cousin is about to turn them into a back-firing grenade.
“I said it was bullshit,” my cousin finally says.
“I believe you used the words fucking bullshit, in response to a speech about character. Please, elaborate.” A few noticeable mumbles simmer around us. A few “Oh, my God’s” and “Oh shits.”
“Fine. I will. That speech was all just more fucking bullshit. My cousin doesn’t believe that crap. I’ve played ball with him before, for years.”
“Maybe I’ve grown,” I speak up. I’m a little surprised myself, but now that I’m in it, I realize exactly how much my speech and that made-up story about a school means to me—how much my own character means to me. I’m going to defend it.
“Ha, sure. Whatever. Or maybe you’re just in love.” There’s a collective gasp.
“Maybe you’re threatened by a girl.” My heart stops at the sound of her voice. This was my end goal, but suddenly I’m surprised to hear Hollis assert herself. I turn to find her standing several feet away, her arms folded over her chest, like her father’s.
“Sweetheart, I’m not—”
“Sexist? Is that what you were going to follow that up with? Or do you call everybody sweetheart?” Hollis steps over a few of the guys and brushes against my chest as she passes me and jets straight toward Zack. They’re toe-to-toe, and Jay and Roland are staring at the grass, too chicken shit to look her in the eyes.
“I’ll go head-to-head with you anytime and win.” Nobody else would notice the slight grit to my cousin’s voice, but I hear it. I also see the way his jaw is working. He knows he’s lying, but he’s paddling for air, frantic to save face with desperate words followed by more desperate words. What’s worse is his father is taking long strides behind him, crossing the football field on his way to see what’s going down.
“Ha! I wish that were the case, but you can’t handle a fair fight with me. You’re too afraid you’ll lose. You’re so afraid that—”
“Are you still bent over that little fun we had with the field hose on Friday?” His snarky laughter stands out in the sudden quiet. Even the breeze stops, and with darkness coming on quick, the air is cold and sound travels. My uncle is plenty close enough to hear that. Zack obviously has no idea he’s there, standing with about four rows of players between them.
Hollis steps in closer, turning four feet into two, then one, and eventually pushing at Zack’s chest with her finger. “You held me down,” she growls. “You belittled me in front of my teammates. You made them participate! I’m working my ass off, trying to earn respect, and at every turn you’re there, trying to strip it away. That story your cousin told isn’t bullshit. It’s true. Only that assault didn’t happen in Texas, did it Zack?”
My cousin looks down and to the side, rolling his eyes as if she’s crazy and making things up.
“Roland? Jay?” I call out their names to offer them a chance to stand up for her. They keep their eyes on the ground, but their silence is validation enough.
“Zachery!” My uncle’s voice booms over everything else, and my cousin spins on his heels, coming face-to-face with the man who should have been a better role model.
My chest squeezes with guilt I haven’t felt until now. What maybe should have been a private moment is now very public. I don’t feel as right about any of it as I thought I would, but I don’t feel wrong, either.
Hollis stands her ground, not giving my cousin a place to turn so he’s forced to face his father. Her own dad calls everyone’s attention back to him. I remain in this limbo where I’m paying attention to everything and nothing all at once.
“I think maybe we need to add something to our tryouts this year. An interview,” he says, and as I turn to face him, our eyes meet. “One about your character.”
I swallow, worried that he’s questioning mine after all this. It’s so hard to decide what’s right, and maybe I was on a crusade. Maybe I was in more than her corner with this; maybe I took up her whole damn room, siphoning the air and taking all the credit.
“Bring it in,” Coach says. Everyone scrambles to their feet and moves to form a tight circle around him. Everyone but the three of us.
Leaving Zack alone with his dad, Hollis turns until she faces me. I’m speechless, my face a blank slate, probably the same as hers. I don’t know if I let her down or lifted her up, but I do know I want to be a better person. I know she’s the reason. Because of her, I’m not as selfish, or I try not to be. I’m less closed off, and more open to criticism and coaching. I’m a
