“I don’t get hot for dick. Fuck, it was one time and I thought she was a woman!”
“You slept with a dude?”
“No!” Burg roared. “It was a mistake in identity. I didn’t know he or she was a dude.”
“Yeah, but muscle mass and facial features… I mean, come on, some of those can’t be mistaken.”
“He was a very beautiful woman!”
“Alright, alright,” I said, holding my hands up. Obviously this was still a touchy subject for him.
“So, what was it? What did she promise you?” Sinner asked eagerly.
“Nothing, it was…” I thought back to her seductive voice and the things she promised. Damn, I was gonna get lucky. But then I remembered the reason I shouldn’t accept it and my smile slipped.
“Uh-oh,” Hunter cut into my thoughts. “I don’t think this is a good thing.”
“It’s…complicated.”
“How?”
“Well, see, I saved her from drowning in the mine. She fell in this pool of water and there was a current underneath that was trying to suck her in. I dove in and saved her.”
“Blow job,” Cazzo said. “You do something like that and you’re definitely getting her on her knees.”
“And then when you blew up that helicopter and the rocks collapsed, I dove over her and protected her with my body.”
“Do me a favor,” Derek asked, “please do not tell Claire any of this shit. We make a pact right now that none of the other women hear about this.”
“What’s wrong, Superman? Afraid you can’t keep up with the competition?”
“No, I’m scared Claire’s going to want to go cave diving next or something.”
“Yeah, you poor man. All that sex you’ll be getting,” Rocco scoffed.
“So, what’s the problem?” Cap asked.
“Uh…” I ran my hand along the back of my neck. I wasn’t sure that I should tell the guys this, but I needed to know if I should keep it to myself or not. “So, we were trying to get away from the guys that came after us, right?” The guys nodded. “Well, Blake was driving, so naturally, I was in charge of disposing of the other guys. I found grenades in the back of the SUV and I tossed one at the car closest to us. The car exploded, all was good.”
“So, what’s the problem?”
I winced, hating this next part. “We were too close and the blast threw me. My gun went flying and I caught it, but my finger also hit the trigger when I grasped it. I…I shot Blake in the shoulder.”
“You did what?”
I winced at Cazzo’s outburst. “I know. Don’t you think I know how bad this is?”
“Are we talking a graze or through and through?”
“It was a graze.”
“That doesn’t fucking matter,” Derek said. “You can’t shoot the woman you’re fucking and then expect sexual favors when you make up for it by saving her life.”
“I don’t know,” Hunter stroked his chin. “There has been a time or two that I’ve purposely done shit to Lucy, just because she was pissing me off, and then I swooped in to save the day just so I could get some head.”
“What kind of stuff did you do to her?” Cap asked.
“Nothing bad. I mean, mostly not bad. Like, there was this one time that she was nagging me-”
“Which time?” Derek muttered.
“I know, right? Anyway, she kept nagging me about something ridiculous, like painting the kitchen. Anyway, I got the stuff out and I may have done things in such a way to ensure that she would get covered in paint. Then I rushed in and made sure she got cleaned up. I cleaned up the mess and finished painting. Then I took care of her the rest of the night.” He huffed out a laugh. “She was so fucking grateful to me that I got it twice that night.”
“Wait,” Rocco cut in, “let me get this straight. You purposely covered your wife in paint.” Hunter grinned and nodded along. “Then you had to clean up the mess you made and paint the room like she asked, making the job twice as long as it had to be, all so you could get head?”
Hunter cocked his head to one side, considering all that. “I guess I didn’t really look at it that way.”
“You do know that if you had just painted it the first time she asked, you probably would have gotten the blow job anyway, right?”
Hunter glared at Rocco. “Well, I know now.”
“That’s not what happened to me,” I pointed out. “This was all an accident. The question is, do I tell her that I accidentally shot her?”
“Well, how does she think she got shot?” Derek asked.
“Uh…she sort of thought that…” I cleared my throat, shoving my hands in my jean pockets. “She sort of assumed that it was the guys behind us.”
“And you didn’t correct her?” Cap asked.
“And pass up that opportunity?” Hunter snorted. He walked over to me and clapped me on the shoulder. “Dude, you got off easy. Take it and run.”
“I agree,” Derek sighed. “Against my better judgement, I say let her believe it. What she doesn’t know can’t hurt her.”
“But I’ll know. And she’s planning some really great shit for me. I mean, you should have heard some of the dirty things she whispered. Trust me, I’m getting really lucky. I mean, can I really take all the credit I’m going to get knowing that I shot her?”
“You what?”
My eyes slipped closed and I cringed at the sound of her voice. The other guys were looking anywhere but at me. I slowly turned around and gave a wonky grin. Fuck, I was so screwed. She looked pissed. Or constipated. Most likely pissed, though I didn’t have too much experience with either of the looks on the opposite sex, I wasn’t a complete moron.
“So, you weren’t planning on telling me that you shot me?”
I panicked. I didn’t know what else to say. “Yeah? Well, you shoved me through a window. Twice!”
“So, it was payback? I didn’t know you
