“One day she got busted and she gave her parents a long-winded speech about how she was addicted to the Dizzy Doodler,” said Randy.
“Okay, that’s enough,” said Megan. “It’s not true.”
“And how she wanted them to ‘THROW IT AWAY!’” Randy mimicked a child’s voice. “‘JUST THROW IT AWAY! And don’t tell me which trash can you use!’”
David was in stitches.
“All right, ha ha, very funny, Randy, very funny,” said Megan.
David wiped the tears from his eyes and reached for another beer. “I had a dog once,” he said, “who used to lick his penis for hours on end. We were all sure he was masturbating.”
“Lovely,” said Megan.
In bed, Megan said, “I can’t believe you told David about the Dizzy Doodler.”
“Oh, he didn’t believe me.”
“That doesn’t matter.”
“Come on, I was just teasing.”
“That’s not the point.”
6
Saturday morning came fast. Friday was never a night for events, because Jillian was always so beat. She woke up early and knew that if everything went well today, if she did a good job, things would keep going the way they were going. You know, with Elena helping out and everything.
Jillian made herself a Starbucks by putting coffee, ice, milk, and chocolate syrup in the blender. As the lukewarm, diluted coffee filled her mouth, she thought, How do they do it? She stood there for a full minute in the kitchen, in a trance, with the slippery cup in her hand, before she remembered she was in a hurry. That was the reason she’d made the Starbucks in the first place. Economy of time.
When Adam was dressed and she was dressed, Jillian said, “You wait here, Adam.” She took Crispy outside for a second. The dog would not pee, just would not pee at first. Jillian looked at her cell phone to show her frustration, but the dog just would not pee.
“Pee!” said Jillian.
She squatted and whispered “Pee!” again, but Crispy only looked at her and tugged on the leash.
“Ugh, fine, you stupid dog,” said Jillian.
They walked around the block.
“You dummy dog,” said Jillian.
Crispy wagged her tail and eventually peed and pooped. When this happened Jillian said, “What a good girl, come on! Come on!” and then tried to get Crispy to walk even faster back to the apartment. The poop-bag thing still wasn’t happening. Crispy tugged Jillian away from the apartment and got in the play position.
“Silly doggie,” said Jillian. Jillian was no fool. Jillian read Crispy’s body language, and furthermore knew she wouldn’t want to be in the bathroom all day if she were in Crispy’s shoes.
“Okay, Crispy,” she said when she was getting Adam ready to scoot out the door. “Can you be a good girly?” Crispy stood in the middle of the living room. “She went pee and poop,” Jillian said to Adam. “I think we’re going to try leaving her out today.” Jillian turned on the TV and said, “Be a good girl, okay?” Crispy cocked her head.
It was a twenty-minute walk to the church, which wasn’t so bad. Sometimes walking with Adam since they’d decided to stop using the stroller could be tricky, but it wasn’t so bad, and they could probably make it on time. She didn’t feel like there was any use in taking the bus, and the rates of cabs in the suburbs were outrageous and way out of her budget. They walked and they saw people working in their yards and playing on the sidewalk, driving their cars and getting in and out of their cars. Jillian breathed deep of this beautiful morning air, then accidentally burped a little.
“I love where we live,” she said.
Adam was silent, but she interpreted his enthusiastic dance-walking as agreement.
The church was on a main drag, but there was a nice big lawn in the back, and the street wasn’t all that busy, even though it was large. Jillian and Adam made their way through the parking lot, through the front doors, and down the stairs to the basement, where the party was to be held.
Elena was standing to the side of the room, staring at a card table. Her arms were crossed and she had one hand on her chin.
“Hi, Elena,” said Jillian.
“Hi, Jillian. Why don’t you drop him off in the kids’ room and then come back down here.”
“Okay.”
They crossed the basement rec room and went up the back stairs, through a hallway, and into a room that looked out over the back lawn.
“Oh, you’re here early,” said Susie.
“Elena told me to get here early. I hope it’s okay that I drop him off.”
“Oh, sure. I’m just getting everything all set up for this afternoon. Hey, Adam, you want to watch some TV and have some crackers?”
“Yeah,” said Adam.
“Okay, we’ll be fine up here,” said Susie.
“Great!” said Jillian.
She walked back to Elena, who was still looking at the card table.
“What are you looking at?” asked Jillian, as the card table was empty.
“I’m thinking.”
“Oh.”
“If I gave you a list of things to get, do you think you could get them?”
“Yeah, absolutely.”
“Okay.” Elena walked to the other side of the basement and bent over another table and wrote a list. Jillian stood where she was, thinking she would do a good job. Elena came over with the list and Jillian looked at it.
“There’ll be another list this afternoon, this is just preliminary stuff.”
The list included snacks for the party, decorations, and costumes.
“Um, Elena?” said Jillian. “I can totally get this for you, and I’m not trying to be funny, but I don’t have a car.”
Elena looked at her.
“I just don’t know if I can walk to all of these places and carry all of this stuff and get it all done in time for the party.”
“Well, I can’t come with you.”
“Yeah, I know, but, could I borrow your car, maybe?”
Elena stared at her. “Do you have your license?”
“Oh, yeah,” said Jillian. Elena gave her a look and Jillian shifted. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Okay, you can borrow my
