The darkness outside was jarring after the light of the bar. I stood for a moment, waiting for my eyes to adjust, but before they got the chance, I stepped out into the darkness.
MIRANDA
I woke up early the next morning and couldn’t go back to sleep, so I got dressed, packed my bag, and then, not knowing what else to do, went into the common room of the dorm that I’d walked through the night before. The building was obviously hastily made. The walls were painted a dusty green, but you could still see the seams in the drywall. There was no stove, just a microwave, two refrigerators, a couple different kinds of coffee makers, and a SodaStream. I went to the fridge and got out a bottle of home-carbonated bubble water and poured myself a glass.
A couple of guys were up, eating cereal and watching, I was pretty sure, Bumblebee on the flat-screen TV.
One of them gestured to me and said to the other, audibly, “They should tell the new recruits to bring DVDs in their bags. I’m not saying this is a bad movie, but a fourth viewing doesn’t feel necessary.”
“You’ve got to watch DVDs?” I asked, horrified.
“No streaming, no cable, not even anything to pick up with an antenna. We’re pretty out of it here.” He was wearing a baseball cap that just had the area code 605 on it.
“There’s no internet at all?”
“There’s internet—it’s slow, first of all, entirely satellite. But it’s locked down tight. Unless you have top-level clearance, you can only access the intranet. It’s got most of what you need, though. I’m Har.”
“You’re Har?” His smile was big and friendly, but as I shook his hand, I watched his eyes tear down my body. As mentioned, there were not a lot of women in this place.
“That’s what they call me anyway. This is Marigold.” He gestured to the guy sitting next to him, whose messy blond hair reminded me of Andy. He waved at me without looking up.
“I’m Miranda. Bumblebee, eh?” I was skeptical.
“It’s not that bad. Definitely the best of the Transformers movies.”
“I’ve felt different about them since Carl,” I said.
He let out a little spurt of laughter. “I’ve felt different about everything since Carl.”
“I guess that’s not wrong. Do you mind?” I was pulling a chair over.
“Please, it’s a free island.”
“In my experience so far, it is one of the less free islands.”
He chuckled without looking away from the movie. I was coming into it halfway through, so I was pretty confused, and mostly I just thought about Carl and April and looked around the room. All at once I noticed that the big bowl next to the TV was full of condoms. This really was like a college dorm.
“Hey, what was your first screen name?” Har asked after we’d watched for ten minutes or so.
“Huh.” I thought back, and then laughed out loud. “That is a surprisingly personal question.”
“Come on, what have you got to lose?” he asked.
“Well, it was on Neopets, it was a virtual pet simulator—”
“I know what Neopets is. What was the screen name?”
“OK, fine. Diggles?”
Har and Marigold leapt off the couch with huge smiles on their faces and shouted, “HOOOOO!!!!!” They whooped and hollered. I sat there, eyes wide, completely confused. The movie was forgotten. Marigold, who had said nothing to me at all, was now staring at me with a big, joyful smile, and then he yelled, “WELCOME TO ALTUS, DIGGLES!!”
I finally stood up. “What is happening!?”
“Everyone at Altus goes by their first screen name—that is, if we can get it out of people. It’s kinda a big deal to get someone’s name before anyone else, especially if you get it before they find out about the tradition. No offense, Diggles, but that was pretty easy.” The frat house vibe was real.
“I’m a very trusting person. Are you actually going to keep calling me Diggles?”
“For as long as you’re here!” Har shouted. Their names suddenly made a lot more sense.
“Well, enjoy calling me Diggles for the next few hours, then. I’m afraid I washed out early.”
“No you didn’t.”
“Huh?”
“I don’t know what you know, but what I know is that you’re going on a tour today that they only give to people who have been hired. We’re here to gather you and a couple other kids who got jobs.”
What the hell? I thought about telling them they were wrong, but maybe they were right. Or maybe someone had just forgotten to file my paperwork and I was about to get my last chance to learn about Altus!
“So, when are we going over?” I asked.
“A half hour.”
“Shouldn’t we get the other guys up, then?” I asked.
“Now that you mention it, yeah.” Har leaned forward and turned off the TV.
They went and collected Sid and Paxton, and they both showed up looking remarkably presentable ten minutes later.
“These guys and I were just talking about our first screen names,” I told them. Har and Marigold’s eyes got a little big.
“My first screen name was on Neopets. I know . . . frickin’ embarrassing.”
Sid and Paxton laughed a little.
“Mmmm.” Paxton thought. “I think it was RuneScape. Oh god, this is awful. What was your Neopets name?”
“Yours first!” I said.
But then Sid broke in and said, “I am not ashamed. I was CaptainSippyCup and I have no idea why.” I could tell that Marigold and Har were about to explode, but Paxton still hadn’t gone yet.
“That is pretty bad. I was Diggles, so, like, equally rough, though.”
“I don’t know about that. What about you, Paxton?”
He was blushing. “I don’t think I remember.”
“Oh, you definitely remember,” I said. And then I almost told him it was OK to not tell us, but that was clearly not what I was supposed to do.
Finally, he sighed and said, “LittleP-Nut.”
Har and Marigold
