Guilt nagged at him like a persistently sharp shard of glass stuck in his skin. He hated having to admit that he was responsible for that haunted look in her eyes. For the first time in his life, he had an emotional obligation to another person and he was fast failing in keeping it.
“Are you happy now?” she asked.
He shrugged, wary of the bite to her tone. “Alessandra, I want to celebrate tonight. I want to take you to bed, bella. Not have a down-and-dirty fight. Not again.”
She nodded, and it was as if there was a brittle wall around her. “I wanted to celebrate your victory with you tonight too. I even thought of it as freedom, you know. Freedom from the shackles you’ve bound yourself with. Freedom from the past.
“So that you could be mine. Only mine.”
“I am yours, bella. I’ve told you that before.”
“Only under your conditions, V. I see that now. And still, I was happy. For you. I wanted to go to bed with you, to be held by you while I told you the most glorious news that I’ve been dying to share all day. I wanted to…” A silent tear rolled down her cheek. “I wanted so much. Everything. It was all in my grasp.”
He walked to her, that sense of dread building inside his chest, choking off his breath. “Alessandra, you knew this was going to happen, bella.”
“I knew it. I begged Leo and Massimo to forgive you. I told them about your mother, about how much you’ve been through. I made my peace with the fact that you’re who you are and that despite it all I…I loved you. So much, V. I love you more than anything else in the world. And that’s why this hurts so much.” She rubbed a hand over her chest and gasped for a breath. “It feels like my heart is breaking all over again.”
Her words were like punches coming at him, stealing his breath. She loved him. Cristo, she loved him. It rang through his body like a peal of painful truth. Like the ground was shifting beneath him and he didn’t know what to grasp for an anchor.
“Alessandra—”
She jerked away from him. “I always thought I would be able to save Leo and Massimo and Greta from you. I thought… But they didn’t need saving. Even after you took the CEO position from Leonardo, even after you took this house, their home from them, they’re fine. You’re the one who’s lost everything that matters. You’re the one who needs saving.”
He felt as if she’d slapped him. “I don’t need saving.”
She went on, as if he hadn’t spoken. “But that’s the most important thing I’ve learned in the last few months.
“No one else can save us, can they? However much I want to, I can’t save you. From yourself of all things. We have to do it ourselves. We have to want to be saved. The only hope is that someone we love, who loves us, will stand by us while we do it.
“Someone who believes in us even when we don’t. When we’re so blinded by fear that…we can’t see a way forward.”
She clasped his cheek, tears pouring down her own. “You did that for me. You made me realize I should stay and fight. You made me…” She buried her face in his throat, and her tears drenched him. Seared his bare skin. The weight of her love for him burned him.
He wanted to pull her close and hold her. But he couldn’t. Not when he himself felt as if he were drowning. “Alessandra, just tell me what’s happened. Tell me—”
“You know, you were right when you said I didn’t understand the magnitude of the consequences Greta wreaked on you that day. I didn’t truly comprehend the depth of pain you must have felt every time you saw her. To have all this and not even be able to tell your mother that…”
“Alessandra! You knew all this when you made your choice, bella. What has changed?”
She tilted her head up, her gaze crystal clear. Her palm went to her belly and she held it there. “Discovering that I’m pregnant.”
Another punch. Another blinding hit. Vincenzo couldn’t speak for several seconds. His gaze went to her hand on her belly and to her eyes that glowed with conviction. “You’re…pregnant?” He pushed his hand through his hair. “When—”
“Yeah. Can you believe it? I was all set to freak out. But when I saw the test come back positive… I was actually giddy. You and I created this life. I thought this was the universe’s way of giving me what I wanted. A family. A child to love created with the man I adore. I had everything I wanted.”
“Alex, if this is good news, why are you crying?”
“I was overjoyed. I decided magnanimously that I would forgive Greta for what she’d done to you. I…called her. I could tell something was seriously wrong and I made her tell me how you threatened her and that my happiness was the price she had to pay. Her love for me and my love for you was your currency. Do you even realize how wrong that is? Do you—?”
“Alessandra, listen to me. Today’s win at BFI—”
“No! I’ve listened to you enough. I can’t do it anymore, V. You know why?” She wiped her cheeks angrily. “Because the last shred of hope I had that we could salvage this marriage is gone. Whatever you say now, you can’t bring it back.” Fury shone in her beautiful eyes, radiated from her body.
“You promised me you’d never use me against them. You said you’d keep me out of this infernal war you’ve been waging and you broke your word. You used Leo’s and Massimo’s guilt for what other people did to you to drive them out of here.
“You think love is a weakness to be exploited… You will never be released from this poison. You will
