That stung, but he ended her call and set the phone aside. Then he stepped between her knees and took her weight as much as he could while she pinched his biceps in biting fists and pressed her forehead into his shoulder.
He rubbed her back, trying to ease the rigidity in her.
After a full minute, she slumped weakly against him. Her hands still clung to his sleeves and her head rested against his heartbeat. Her tears dampened the front of his shirt.
“We’re not going to fight anymore,” he promised as he continued to rub her back. “Not right now. Our baby won’t be born into a war zone the way I was.”
* * *
As far as Scarlett knew, Niko hadn’t been present for the birth of either of his sons. She hadn’t expected Javiero to be here for this. She probably should have drawn back when the pain passed, but she stayed leaning on him. It felt too good to be held by him.
“I’m scared,” she admitted. Terrified, more like. “I was Kiara’s birth coach and thought that meant I knew what to expect. I convinced myself it would be different for me. I would handle it better because I’ve had more practice at keeping a stiff upper lip. She’s kinder and softer in all the right ways, but I’m starting to think she’s the bravest, strongest person I’ve ever met.”
He continued the soothing run of his hand up and down her back. It felt really nice, but as she allowed herself to remember Aurelia’s arrival she knew it was only fair to let him off the hook. Witnessing a birth was pretty overwhelming.
“Kiara said she would come if I need her. You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.”
“I want to.” His tone was firm and sure. He didn’t ask if she wanted him there.
She did. It didn’t make sense. Their relationship had been stoic, if laden with undercurrents. Then it had been volatile and intimate. Then radio silence while she’d been swimming in a miasma of mixed emotions for months. All of that had imploded in the last few hours, tearing her up while she headed inexorably toward the massive event that was taking over her body and her life.
In this very moment, however, they occupied a serene pool of affinity. She sniffed, not knowing how to handle his tenderness.
If anything happened… Well, she didn’t want to think of that. She was just glad he was willing to stay.
“I should have asked Kiara how it went with Val,” she murmured to distract herself.
A reflexive tightening in Javiero’s body rejected his half brother’s name.
“Tell me what I can do to help. Do you like when I rub your back?”
He was changing the subject and maybe that was a good thing. She nodded against his chest. Her hair was pulling at her scalp and falling apart, but when she reached to pull out the pins, he gently set her arms around his rib cage and removed the pins himself, pausing when a new bout of pain arrived.
“Don’t be afraid of it,” he murmured. “That’s what I learned. Fighting pain makes it worse. When you accept it and let yourself feel it, you discover you can bear it.”
Easy to say, but she tried not to tense up or worry about anything beyond taking slow, measured breaths as she waited for the contraction to subside. It helped a little.
“Okay?” he asked when she was breathing normally again.
She nodded and he resumed taking pins from her hair, then combed his fingers through the strands, making a soothing noise as he massaged her scalp.
Time passed in a blur after that. She paced and had a shower and paced some more. She sat and knelt and stood and swore. She cried and said awful things to him about his libido and the patriarchy and that Niko’s money wasn’t even close to being worth what she was going through so how dare he accuse her of wanting a penny of it.
Javiero patiently endured her vitriol, repeating stupid platitudes the nurse had given him to say like, “You’re doing so good. I’m so proud of you. I’m here for you.”
“That’s a lie,” she said at one point, elbows on the edge of her bed, his palm making circles on her lower back. “No one has ever been here for me. Not when it counted. No one.”
Even Kiara had abandoned her—which wasn’t fair since she had told her to stay away. Maybe she had pushed Kiara away so she wouldn’t risk being disappointed by the one friend she truly cherished. She could test that friendship—pick up her phone right now and beg Kiara to come—but Kiara couldn’t do anything to help her. Not really.
No one could.
Which was pretty much the way her entire life had gone. Her parents and her schoolteachers and social services had all let her down. She had always had to save herself along with everyone else. Maybe that had meant pledging undying allegiance to Niko, who had, at least, kept his promises. And if she hadn’t worked for him, she wouldn’t have met Javiero. Did he realize that?
Maybe he did and it was one more reason he reviled Niko.
And her.
Because he might be here now, but he wasn’t here for her. He was here for the child she carried. When it came down to it, she was utterly alone in this world. People surrounded her and acted like they cared, but she was the one who suffered and labored and pushed and cried.
Finally, even her baby left her.
For one long moment, she was weightless and numb and wondered if she even existed.
Then a warm, damp weight settled on her chest. He was tiny and flushed and so helpless she was flooded with the need to shelter and comfort and nurture him. His eyes squinted open once before he clenched them shut and made an unhappy squawk. It was
