It did nothing to improve my mood and I’d taken to isolating myself so no one else had to deal with me. There were few things that dragged me out of my office. One was bathroom breaks which were, of course, unavoidable, and the other was coffee refills which I refused to go without.
So, I grabbed my mug that had a picture of a rhino with the words Save The Chunky Unicorns on it, and headed to the break room. As I walked down the hall, that feeling in my belly intensified and I knew, I just knew I should have turned around and come back at a better time, but I was a glutton for punishment.
And despite how angry I was, I still had feelings for him.
Deep, deep, impossible to ignore feelings.
So, when I swung the break room door open to find him smiling at my employee Katie, I wasn’t totally surprised by the flash of jealousy that ran through me. Irritated, but not surprised.
I must have looked as formidable as I felt because their conversation ended abruptly, and Katie turned to me with big eyes.
“Hey, boss. How’s it goin’?”
How’s it goin’?
Oh, fine. Just fine. The man I’m deeply in love with but petrified of is standing five feet away from me and my pride won’t allow me to do anything but ignore him, but other than that, things are great.
I ignored her question completely for fear I’d say one of those stupid thoughts out loud.
“I dropped off some of the air sample results on your desk. I need you to analyze them and report back by the end of the day.”
Katie swallowed once. “Sure thing, boss. I’ll get started right now.” She shot a small glance at Wyatt who was staring into his mug of coffee like it was the most interesting thing in the world. “See ya, Wyatt.”
See ya, Wyatt.
Ugh.
She walked past me and out the door, leaving me alone with Wyatt for the first time in days. And suddenly, I wished I hadn’t sent her away.
I shook that thought out of my head and stalked toward the coffee maker. A hundred different sets of words piled into my mouth, but the only ones that came out were, “I thought I told you to stay in Ellie’s office.”
He scoffed. “I’m just getting a coffee, Callie.”
The way he said my name sent a shiver down my spine, but I refused to let it affect me. Or at least affect me more than it already was.
I decided to ignore him as I poured coffee into my mug and retrieved the creamer from the fridge, but that was impossible. His smell permeated the air between us, and even from across the room, I swore I could feel the heat of his body like it was pressed against me. Another shiver threatened to wrack my system, but I shook that off too.
Wyatt snorted, and through sheer willpower, I kept my eyes on my coffee.
“Nice mug.”
I closed my eyes for a moment as his words washed over me. They were simple, and there were only two of them strung together, but they brought me back to when we could joke with each other. Back even before we were romantically involved. To when we were just friends who flirted and joked, and he’d become this integral part of my life.
I didn’t respond, not that I thought he was expecting me to, but it still stung when he sighed and said, “I’ll get outta your hair.”
I closed my eyes and listened to his heavy footsteps as they faded away. Not that I needed to listen for him, because I could always feel him. That tug in my belly lessened the farther away he got, and I convinced myself it didn’t bother me.
Which led me to the next stage of grieving: Bargaining.
Because in that breakroom, with Wyatt’s leather scent still in the air and my heart still racing from having been that close to him, I swore if there was anything I could do to get over him, I’d do it.
If there was any promise I could make that would help me stop thinking about him, I’d make it.
If there was any way possible for me to stop loving him, I’d do it.
Because I didn’t know how much more of this I could take.
Chapter 33
Callie
“I’ve been made aware of some new intel that I need to share with you.”
Abey stood in the front of the room, commanding the attention of everyone here. And it seemed like everyone was here. The whole McCoy tribe plus Ellie along with every enforcer in the pack crammed into one room made for a stuffy environment. But I could hardly focus on that.
Because behind me and to the right was Wyatt Carter, and he was taking up all my brain power. Without my permission, my ears strained to listen to every one of his breaths and every beat of his heart. I knew it wasn’t healthy for me, but I couldn’t help myself.
Because I’d coasted through denial, burned through anger, talked my way through bargaining, and now I was smack dab in the middle of depression with seemingly no way out. Like I was a life raft in the middle of the ocean with nothing but the sky and the sea for miles in any direction.
Due to the fact that I’d spent time researching it, I knew depression was defined as sadness, gloominess, dejection, and hopelessness. Not that I needed Merriam-Webster
