I let the blinds close with a snap and swallowed hard as I crossed the distance to the front door. Standing there, with my heart in my throat and my stomach somewhere near my boots, I waited to see what she’d do next.
That wait only lasted long enough for me to hear a single knock on my door before I whipped it open. Callie stood on the other side, her fist still raised to knock again and her chest heaving with her labored breaths. Man, had she always been this stunningly beautiful? Or had I just forgotten how perfect she was?
We stood there looking at each other for what felt like forever as I desperately tried to avoid her gaze. I couldn’t go there right now. I wasn’t strong enough.
“Hi,” she finally said.
I tipped my head up and said, “Hey.”
She lowered her hand but kept it fisted at her side. Callie took a slow, deep breath before saying, “Can I come in and talk?”
I swallowed. “Sure.”
Stepping aside, I held my breath as she passed so her rose scent wouldn’t fog my brain when I needed it running at full capacity. She wandered into the middle of the living room and looked around slowly before turning back to me.
“Where is everyone?”
I took my time closing the front door before answering. “Wes is on patrol and Ma’s out back. You wanna say hi?”
Please say no.
Please say no.
Please say no.
“I’ll talk to her later if that’s okay.”
I kept the relieved sigh as quiet as possible. “Okay. Let’s go to my room.”
I heard her gulp, but she followed me down the hall to the room I’d occupied for the past eight months. She walked in after me and I closed the door behind us, instantly regretting the decision.
Because I had Callie in a room alone with a bed and suddenly, all the blood in my body rushed between my legs. It took all my reasonable thoughts and replaced them with fantasies.
Callie walked cautiously around the room, her eyes taking in every little detail, although there wasn’t much to see. I hadn’t personalized this room because it had just been a place for me to sleep.
“I’ve never been in here before,” she said, breaking the tense silence.
“I didn’t want you in here,” I said, my voice sounding much gruffer than I’d intended.
She looked over her shoulder at me and said, “Oh.”
There was so much disappointment and sadness in that single syllable, I rushed to explain myself better.
“I knew if I had you in my room, I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands to myself. And since most of the time you were in this house, we were just friends, that wouldn’t have been cool, so I kept you out.”
Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open slightly before she said that same little word again. “Oh.”
Thankfully, this time it lacked the melancholy the last one was full of.
I watched her carefully as my hands began to shake with the exertion of not reaching out to her and my chest began to ache at the loss. Suddenly, I knew I couldn’t do this.
I growled softly and grabbed her hand before dragging her through the room and out the door. “I can’t do this here. Let’s go.”
She let me pull her down the hallway and through the house without saying a word. Just before I walked out the front door, I yelled over my shoulder, “I’ll be back, Ma.”
I heard her yell something but didn’t bother responding again. My thoughts were on the woman whose small hand was in mine for the first time in weeks and nothing else.
Not caring who was around to see, I towed Callie behind me as I hurried around the house and into the woods. She kept up easily as I led us deeper into the forest, back to a place I’d found a while ago.
When we arrived at the outcropping of rocks, I finally released her hand, mine tingling at the loss of contact. I motioned to a flat boulder that doubled as a chair, but she shook her head. “I think I need to stand for this.”
And I felt like I needed to sit.
I took the makeshift seat, placing my palms on my thighs, my heart thumping in my throat as I watched her. She looked at everything but me. The ground, the trees, the canopy above us, her shaking hands, all while I waited impatiently.
Finally, she released a deep breath and looked in my direction. “I thought up a whole speech on the way down here, but now I’ve forgotten it.”
I waited and waited, but when she didn’t say anything else, I felt like I needed to speak up. “Callie, it’s just me. You know you can tell me anything.”
She nodded, her head bobbing on her neck over and over again before she squeezed her eyes closed and took a deep breath. Then another. Finally, she opened those beautiful pale blue eyes and looked right at me.
“I’m sorry.”
Those two words rang out in the space between us. I let them settle as I waited for her to keep going.
She rubbed her lips together and started again. “I’m sorry I made you keep us a secret. I’m sorry I pushed you away. I’m sorry I made you feel like I was embarrassed of you because nothing could be further from the truth. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I was lucky to be with you. Lucky that you picked the bookworm who wears boys’ clothes day in and day out and forgets to brush her hair most of the time,” she said before looking away.
My heart beat erratically in my chest as I watched her, perched on the edge of my seat,
