I looked at Monica again, at the dejected look on her face, and felt a glimmer of empathy for her. "I'll make sure to tell you if I hear anything." A promise, one I hadn't made for her, not in a while. She nodded, understanding this. I couldn't help feeling some relief when she left. It wasn't her fault I was such a heartless prick. And it may have been her fault for getting Hans interested, but she hadn't deserved the monster that had come out to play that night. Monica had been giving Hans a lap dance, trying to get a rise out of me that night. I hadn't taken the bait, but she had gotten out with far, far worse. The least I could do was to tell her if I saw my twin back home.
Hans hadn't texted. I had sent him a photo of his pet fish, Yolo, but I guess he didn't care enough to reply. I wondered how different life would be had Nathan been with us. If my mom hadn't left. I often saw other families, seemingly happy, with their parents by their side. Whenever Hunter moaned about how his mother worked him to the bone with errands, it was all I could do not to snap at him. At least he had a mom around. One who nagged about his whereabouts, what he ate, and how he dressed. My friends thought my mom was cool, giving me the freedom to do as I wished whenever I came to visit.
Nathan. I wondered what he would look like if he were still alive now. Another Isaac heartbreaker, no doubt. Perhaps even more so, with those curly blond curls he had inherited from our mother. My heart clenched, as if an iron fist had tightened around it. And I savored the feeling, savored the guilt that I was to live with for the rest of my life.
Chapter 21
Ella
Life returned to normal again, or at least, seemed to. Hans was still away, and I felt a sense of relief lull me. Cole and I went back to barely acknowledging each other at school, which helped my nerves and attraction towards him calm down a bit. But now he had started to take me with him to school, and I wondered if that was voluntary. Marcus and my mom had been away that time, and my mom hadn't mentioned anything. The rides to school were peaceful, and whatever conversations we had were relaxed and not forced. We talked about school, the crazy English teacher who refused him a rewrite when he had come down sick - "he was always a dick towards me, ever since I spoke back to him freshman year" - and football. I wondered how the team fared without Hans, but never asked. Life had continued, regardless of whether everyone was playing their part or not. I had gotten my grades back, and I was pleased to find I had done better than I had expected, given the circumstances.
But what made me happiest was when Mom and Marcus came back from their trip, looking refreshed and happy. Mom's cheeks were fuller, the shadows under her eyes gone, and we had resumed our weekly dessert outings. I decided I needed to fit in exercise somehow, given how well-fed I was now, and decided running was an easy enough way to burn those calories. Which was how I found myself face-to-face with Cole, my breaths coming in labored pants, both due to being out of shape and the bite in the chilly air.
He watched me with his eyebrows raised, and uncapped a bottle of water. I watched as the water dribbled down his chin, and he tugged his shirt to wipe it off, revealing those amazing abs. My eyes snapped back to his face when I heard him chuckle. I shrugged, pretending not to be embarrassed to be caught ogling him, and took a swig from my own bottle. "Where do you usually run?" I asked.
He pointed towards the gates. "Out there. There's a small stream nearby that I like to go to."
"Oh?" I couldn't imagine running the ten minutes it would take me to reach the front gates and only then properly begin my run. "Maybe next time."
He smiled shrewdly. I wanted to swat him except it would only confirm to him that I was worried about being too unfit to get to the stream he was talking about. "Sure. Just say when."
***
I wandered around the house again that night, trying to make myself more at home in the vast space. This time, the movie room was unlocked, and I slipped in. It was a large room, comfortably seating fifty people, with rows of cinema-like seats making up most of the space. In front was a large screen where movies could be projected onto. It never failed to amaze me what money could buy. How often did they use the place, anyway?
I wondered if it was worth it to try and set up something to watch. Not that I knew where the switchboard or whatever was. But it would have been nice to be able to watch something in the privacy of your own cinema.
"Wanna watch a movie?"
I whipped around, to find Cole there, standing in cutoff shorts and a tank top that showed off his broad shoulders and muscular arms. Swallowing, I nodded, and promptly sat myself down on the nearest seat, unsure if my voice would hold steady. The lights dimmed, and he walked to the equipment at the back and tinkered around with it. "Do you have anything in mind?" In the end, we decided on Black Widow together, which Cole told me he hadn't watched but heard good reviews about. It was a good thing the movie held my interest, because there was no way I could
