Hating, Hurting: A Stepbrother Bully Story

sanity was questionable, his mind gone, far deep into the recesses where I couldn't reach him. It had happened a few times before, each time ending catastrophically for various animals - the fish, the poor kitten. I never got a pet ever again after that kitten, couldn't stomach it after seeing its head a foot away from the mutilated body, the guts hanging out as it lay beside a small grave. "To give it some dignity," Hans had said then, echoing words from a TV show we had both watched. He hadn't apologized then, and hadn't shown any remorse or signs of reflection even when he was lucid again. I had curled up in my bed for days, Susan unsuccessfully trying to coax me out of bed. Even then, my parents hadn't checked in on me. I was eleven. I hadn't seen him this way since then, had thought this side of him gone, that he had grown out of it, had found other ways of channeling his energy, as I had heard my mother call it once. Certainly, going through different girls every week was better than the alternative. Snowball's eyes haunted me again, glassy and white, coated over with a film that told me he had been dead for some time.

"Cole." A hand laid upon my forearm. Ella - dressed in a t-shirt and the school skirt, her hair wet and ruffled, like she had run her fingers through them. She was holding her school bag. "What do we do now?" There was no small amount of relief as I heard her say we. That she still trusted me, after all I had done to her, after the trickery my twin had just pulled, told me more about her wholesome sense of self rather than my own trustworthiness or ability to keep up appearances.

"Now," Hans replied in that same cheerful voice, standing halfway up the stairs, "we eat."

Chapter 24

Cole

I waited, breath baited, trying to school my features into something that lay between neutral and - evil. Because Hans knew me. Perhaps even more than I knew myself.

"So I heard from Hunter that you've been hanging out with them less," Hans was saying, looking at me with a twinkle in his eye. "Would it have anything to do with a certain new girl in town?" He grinned, baring his white teeth at Ella, who, to her credit, only blinked under his gaze.

Ella looked to me, as if seeking for my permission, before turning to Hans. "Cole is...teaching me to swim."

The gleam of interest in Hans' eyes made my heart stutter. "Is that right?" He turned to look at me. "That wouldn't be because of...Nathan, would it?" Then he hastily glanced down at the chicken chops he had served us, before saying under his breath, wide-eyed, "Oh, sorry for the slip." Right in front of me, he had morphed from the patient, more level-headed twin to an unhinged, calculating one, and I wondered at what point he had snapped. The isolation - that was the turning point. I eyed him again, hard, watching his smile grow wide as he noticed my stare.

"Nathan?" Ella looked between us, confused. Her plate lay in front of her, untouched. Only Hans ate as if he hadn't seen real food in a while. Perhaps he really hadn't.

"Cole hasn't told you about him, has he?" Hans shook his head. "A story for another time. But suffice it to say, Cole is not the guy you think he is." And who would that be? I wanted to shout at him. Because even I didn't know. I could feel the tension in my shoulders and neck, the beginnings of a pounding headache, as I remembered. Swallowing, I shoved the rage and sadness bubbling just below the surface to say, "Ella. Let's finish up. Your mother will be wondering where you are."

Hans just smiled. "Nice try. But Ella already texted her to say she was off to visit friends for a few days. Doubt her mom will look into it too hard - Marcus is bringing her up to Silver Springs to get some last minute wedding prep done."

My veins froze over. "Well, then I guess we have Ella all to ourselves the next few days." I leaned back, hands behind my neck, the picture of utter relaxation, my smile stretching widely. Hans eyed me, a smile on his face too, then his gaze fell to my own untouched plate. I made a show of eating, the food tasting like ash in my mouth, praying Hans hadn't slipped anything inside.

"But I want to go." Her eyes were wide, pleading, as she tried to hide her rising panic.

"No can do," I replied her cheerfully, giving Hans a wink. "Hans is back home now, and deserves a fitting welcome." I looked up around the house, as if assessing it. "Wanna give Ella a tour, Hans?"

"Shall we?"

My mind whirled as I walked behind them, Hans showing Ella the many rooms and sitting places in the house. My heart pounded when we reached the large veranda that hung over the water, Ella barely stepping over the threshold to look at the beautiful scenery - water and trees as far as the eyes could see. No nearby houses, no one to witness Hans if Ella went over the railing. She couldn't swim, not yet.

Mercifully, it wasn't what Hans had planned for Ella, at least not today, it seemed. He walked away from the veranda and turned to face me, his face open, happy. "The boathouse?"

I wanted to shout no. The boathouse was run down, cluttered, and took us as far away from the house and the main road as possible. Holding Hans' gaze, I replied firmly, "It's gonna rain soon. Maybe tomorrow."

"A little rain never stopped you," Hans said, eyeing me closely.

"It's...our secret place." I did my best to inject some sadness to my words.

He considered, his head tilting to one side. "Well, okay. We can talk about it tonight." He smiled at Ella again, and with