“Nothing, because you’re not going to tell him,” Nefta states matter-of-factly. “Delta, you are a strong ally or a dangerous enemy to the realms of this world as it is. But take what Morax now knows plus the ways he’s learned to corrupt our gifts, and everything about what you can do is infinitely more terrifying—or tempting—to the realm’s citizens, depending on which lens they view you and your abilities through,” she tells me seriously, her gaze intense, like she needs to hammer this part home the most.
“I worried before that Tazreel could use your ability for his own devices, and that, of course, would have been bad for the balance. That’s why I kept all knowledge about you secret. But now, if Morax is right, and your dual light and dark sides make you even more than we thought…” she trails off, letting the possibilities and realizations sink in.
Everyone could want to use me...or kill me so that I can’t be used. I could reset both Heaven and Hell and let everything in existence fall into Morax’s hands. Fuck my life.
“But Luce knows,” I say with worry.
“Yes, Lucifer knows what you are because he figured out what I was a long time ago. He played in my grandmother’s house and connected pieces of information back then when we weren’t careful enough in hiding it. Morax did too, I now realize, but he obviously took the knowledge to a whole other level that none of us thought possible.”
“But wouldn’t God have known?” I ask.
“Of course. They know everything, but they can’t—”
“Affect free will,” I interrupt and finish for her, piecing things together. I let air fill my cheeks before blowing it out. “Okay...just hypothetically here, say he takes me. Since I’m half Heaven and half Hell, he could use me to reset angels and demons both, right?”
“Correct.”
“And the souls I’ve already ashed—I mean, reset...he’s taking them into this new realm of his? A realm that he was able to make by picking off our family and using their power.”
“I believe so, yes.”
Fuck. So every time I thought I was killing one of those demons that I ashed, I was really just putting them right back in Morax’s hands as they reset, wiped clean for him to control all over again.
I let my head drop in my hands, my elbows braced on my knees where I sit as I try to digest all of this. “Are they alive? Our...family?” I ask, the word feeling strange on my tongue.
Nefta’s eyes grow solemn, and she bows her head. “I don’t know. I suppose there’s a chance, but all I can think is that if they were still alive and in his grasp, then why would he be so desperate for you?”
“Yeah, that’s a good point,” I agree thickly, wishing there was something else I could say to make the possible truth of that hurt less for Nefta. I can tell just by her voice that she’s struggling with this—to know that her family was probably being kept captive by Morax while he used them until they died or he killed them.
“So what the fuck am I supposed to do?” I ask after a moment, lifting my head up again to look at her.
“You’ll learn how to properly use your Annulus powers, including wielding the scythe. We’ll prepare for Morax in case he tries to create another realm and build another army.”
I shake my head, partly in denial at this huge burden she’s putting on me. “How does all of this affect the Hell portal here? I’ve already been inducted to be a Gate Guardian. I can’t just walk away from that,” I tell her. “I have a responsibility to this portal, and it’s clearly fucking broken, since my induction didn’t seem to do a damn thing against letting Morax’s army through.”
Nefta cocks her head. “You can’t be a Gate Guardian. Your blood wouldn’t allow it. You’re not meant to be tied to a single portal, or that could compromise your nature of neutrality.”
Well...fuck.
“So the induction didn’t work?” I confirm. I feel like shit now. I thought my presence helped, but I left the Gate and the guys even more vulnerable. On the other hand, I feel some level of relief too, because at least the Gate isn’t actually worse off than we suspected. It just never got stabilized like we thought it did.
I look over at the guys, feeling like I just failed them. “I’m so sorry. I thought I would’ve been able to help.”
“Nothing to apologize for,” Echo tells me, as I feel a shadow brush against my shoulder in a gesture of comfort. “We’ll figure it out.”
“How?” I ask incredulously, feeling more and more shit piling onto my shoulders. I’m a possible world-ruiner, and their Gate is still fucked. We’re just throwing good news around like glitter today.
“I said you can’t be a Gate Guardian,” Nefta interrupts. “I didn’t say you couldn’t help fix the Hellgate.”
Her words pull me up short. “What?”
“Go down to Hell’s Embrace. You’ll need to go to the literal Hellgate to do this. Demonic Gatekeepers created the Hellgate, but it was demonic Annuli who made it work. You can go down and help to reset it to its former glory, like the way it was when it was first made. It’s one of your true duties, after all.”
I sit up straighter, finally glad to hear some good fucking news. “I can? How do I do that?”
She opens her mouth to explain, but Tazreel groans just then and sits up, scratching away the unconsciousness from his eyes as he looks around. “What happened?” he asks, his voice scratchy from sleep.
Nefta takes this opportunity to get up, abandoning her teacup as she walks over to me, so I rise to my feet too. “I need to go now. I’ll be back, but there’s something I must check on before I can return to the Legion and report everything that happened.
