Kiara and AnnaMae are opposites when it comes to looks; Kiara has dark skin and black braids to AnnaMae’s pale skin and platinum blonde bob, but their personalities couldn’t be more alike. The three of us became friends in elementary school, bondin’ over our mutual dislike for learnin’ the multiplication tables. I kept in touch with them even after I moved away for middle school and college, and we picked right up where we left off when I came back home.
Like me, Kiara and AnnaMae are single, though AnnaMae just ended a year-long relationship. She’s been on the rebound for a few weeks now, and Kiara ain’t wrong about the tequila. It’s like a button for AnnaMae to hike up her skirt and grind on the nearest body of the opposite sex.
I shrug and down the shot, hopin’ somehow it’ll kickstart the others I’ve already taken and I can finally loosen up, but nothin’ really happens. Still. Maybe dancin’ will help. Get my blood movin’ and all that alcohol travelin’ around, that should have me feelin’ way more light and free than I currently do.
“Let’s go dance!” I say, my voice raised so they can hear me over the music.
AnnaMae holds up her finger for us to wait while she starts suckin’ on her straw to finish her drink before we walk away from the table. We may have driven over to Colletville for the night, but the city ain’t that much nicer than Sweetgreen. Sure, this club has flashy lights and a stainless steel bar, but it’s still a honky-tonk beneath it all, as is evident in the country music that’s playin’ outside where they have the beer kegs and mechanical bull set up.
“Come on, girl, I know you can suck better than that,” Kiara tells her with a mischievous grin, and AnnaMae chugs the rest down, makin’ sure to hollow out her cheeks and shoot the next table over a wink when she catches them gapin’ at her straw suckin’ abilities that should be innocent but just looks downright lewd.
“Done!” she says proudly, a smile curlin’ up her lips as she slaps the cup down. “Let’s go grind and sway, girls!”
With another laugh, I step away from the table, followin’ my favorite drinkin’ buddies as we head for the dance floor. The flashin’ lights surroundin’ the DJ up ahead mess with my depth perception. Or maybe that’s the six shots and two drinks I’ve had finally kickin’ in? I sure hope so.
My mind is still reelin’ with everythin’ that’s happened in the past twenty-four hours. When AnnaMae called, beggin’ me to go out, it seemed like a good idea at the time. But now that I’m actually out, I kinda wish I’d just stayed home.
I should be blitzed right now, but I feel sober as a nun, and I’m discoverin’ that clubbin’ while sober and stressed out just ain’t as much fun as drunk, squealy, and on the prowl.
Our trio has turned more than a couple heads, ones that under other circumstances would’ve been prime pickins for me, but I’m just not feelin’ it tonight. That could be in part because of the Pepto pink lady in the corner with tentacles comin’ out of her sides and the way that she’s suctioned herself to some guy in the corner.
I didn’t notice her when I first got here, but somewhere around shot three and drink one, she pinged my radar, and reality came smashin’ right through the buzz I was tryin’ to chase.
The demon in the corner—or at least that’s what I’m assumin’ she is—hasn’t noticed me at all, which I suppose is good, since suction cup fondlin’ isn’t on my list of things I was hopin’ would happen tonight. But the fact that I can see her is just makin’ this afternoon’s revelations feel entirely too heavy and important.
Mama and Daddy and their unconditional love had me feelin’ like the demon bomb was really no big deal, but now that I’m starin’ at somethin’ I couldn’t see yesterday, I’m realizin’ that there might be more to all of this than I thought. I keep ignorin’ her, like maybe she’ll go away, but every time I turn around, there she is.
As Kiara and AnnaMae head right to the middle of the dance floor, I follow behind them. But as I look around at all the dancin’ bodies around me, everyone laughin’ and showin’ off like peacocks with their feathers splayed, unease bubbles in my gut, and I’m findin’ it harder and harder to ignore. Dancers roll their hips and sway seductively, lost to the matin’ ritual, while I question why I thought comin’ out here would make me feel better. I thought a distraction would be a good thing, but it turns out I’m not as good at dismissin’ things as I’d hoped.
I wave at the girls, signalin’ that I’m gonna go to the ladies room. Kiara and AnnaMae take each other’s hands and up the ante on the dance floor by grindin’ on each other and doin’ what they can to pull all available male eyes to them. I’ve seen this routine that they do a million times, and I smile at their brazenness.
They have no shame, and I love that about them. They take what they want with no apologies, and as I watch my friends work their magic and reel in two very eager, very good lookin’ guys, I realize I could do well to be more like that.
But the problem is, any time a cute guy smiles my way, I falter, because my mind immediately flashes back to two particular demons, one with yellow hair and one with marble skin. It’s been hours since I saw them, and yet, I can still feel their warm skin and taut muscles beneath my fingers when I ran my hands up their shirts. I can still feel Alder’s touch when his hand wrapped around my wrist. I can