She sniffed back tears. “Do you have any suggestions?”
He shook his head. “I’ve barely had time to get used to the idea you’re pregnant. Tell me the ones you’ve been considering.”
“If it’s a girl… My mom’s name was Lavinia, Liv for short. Since that’s a mouthful, maybe Olivia?”
“That’s pretty. My mom was Rose. That might be a nice middle name.” He stroked her hair and kissed her gently. “What do you think?”
Brea tried not to sob at the thought that he might be long dead before his son or daughter was ever born. “I love that. And if it’s a boy, I was thinking Pierce Jasper, for you and my dad.”
“I’m touched, but I’m not worth naming him after. Why don’t you—”
“I think you are. I think you’re the best thing that ever happened to me. You didn’t wrap me up and tell me I was too young or fragile for the world. You’ve encouraged me to be strong. You’ve taught me pleasure and love and…” The dam broke on her sobs. They wracked her whole body, and she couldn’t stem their tide. “I don’t know what I’m going to do with you gone.”
Especially if you never come back.
“Hey…shh. You’re going to be great. You’re signed up to learn what you need to know. Get every ounce of knowledge about home security from Matt when he comes. He’ll help you. So will Cutter. Lean on your dad. Everyone else? Fuck them. If they want to pass judgment, they should start by looking in a mirror. Focus on a healthy you and a healthy baby. The rest…we’ll take care of all that together as soon as I get back.”
She prayed more than anything that would be possible, but what was one man in the face of a murderous drug lord and his army?
“I will.” She sniffled.
“Oh, pretty girl. Don’t ever gamble. You have a terrible poker face.” He held her closer. “I’m here if you need to cry.”
“I’m so afraid. I’m trying to be brave for you, but…”
“I know, baby.” He cradled her cheek and brushed a kiss across her lips. “You can lean on me as much as you want right now. I got you.”
“I’ve got you, too.” She clutched him tight. “I need you to know that.”
Pierce looked inside her as much as he looked at her, as if he saw the real, deep-down her. “I do.”
Brea wished she could lose herself in his arms forever. “I love you.”
Something on his face changed. His expression opened, and for the first time, she felt the vulnerability under his strength. “The night I met you at the EM barbecue, I wasn’t looking for anything except brownie points from the bosses for making an appearance. When I left there, I already knew you’d change my life forever. I love you. No matter what happens, never forget that.”
Brea nodded as she wiped away hot new tears. “I won’t.”
Pierce eased from the bed and bent to kiss her again. “Neither will I.”
Her heart clutched as she watched him dress. She bit back the urge to promise him that if he didn’t come back, she would raise their baby to know his or her father was an amazing man, a fierce warrior who loved them with his whole heart, and had made the ultimate sacrifice to protect them. But she didn’t want Pierce to think she didn’t believe in him. She didn’t want to jinx him, either. So she swallowed her worries and slipped back into her nightgown and panties. She felt a chill without his arms around her, his skin blanketing hers, his flesh heating her, and his heart beating against hers.
Would she ever really be warm again?
“You’re really leaving tonight?”
“Yeah. From here, I’m heading to the office to tie up some loose ends. And this is important: If I don’t make it back, go see Logan. He’ll have all my paperwork and he’ll know what to do.”
“Pierce…” Her voice cracked. “Don’t say—”
“I’m being practical. It’s all right. He’ll make sure you and the baby are taken care of. Then after I’m done at the office, I’ll be heading to DFW for my flight later.”
“Where are you going?”
He hesitated. “After I land, that’s something I’ll have to figure out.”
“But you must have some idea…”
“No. And even if I did, you’re safer without that information.”
He was leaving her no way to find him—on purpose. She understood, but it made her angry. “Don’t do this. Please.”
Pierce sighed. “We’ve been over this.”
They had, and she was only making things harder. Brea took a deep breath and clutched him as close as she could while pressing his big palm to her belly. “We’ll miss you.”
“Oh, pretty girl, I already miss you and the baby so much.”
“Will you think of us?”
He settled his lips on hers for a soft kiss. “I won’t think of anything else. But I don’t want you to focus on me, just worry about you and the baby. If things go my way, I’ll be back for you two. I’ll meet your father and explain everything.”
“Then we’ll live the rest of our lives?”
“Yeah. That’s what I want.”
“Do you, really?”
“More than anything, Brea Felicity Bell.” He took her hands and stared into her eyes. “I do.”
His words rang with the solemnity of a wedding vow, and she felt his commitment all the way to her soul. “Pierce Jackson Walker, I do, too.”
They sealed their impromptu vow with a lingering kiss that Brea wished would go on forever.
But an unexpected tap on the door cut it short. The clock in her line of vision said it wasn’t even five a.m.
“Brea?” Her dad’s voice had her eyes widening in panic.
He never knocked this early.
Pierce gripped her shoulders and whispered, “It’s okay. I’m going. I’m leaving my phone behind, so I’ll be underground for a while.”
She tried not to cry again even as she clung to him, wishing she could melt into him and become one with him. “You haven’t even left and I’m terrified.”
“I
