It has to be.
Giving myself one last minute to take him in as he sat on a bench by the bay door, a plastic clipboard resting on his pant-covered thigh, I leaned against the brick building to my left, nibbling on my bottom lip.
Moments ticked by.
Seconds passed.
And yet, I still couldn’t look away.
Blowing out a breath, I stood straight. Get it together, chica. “Have a good life, Guapo,” I whispered, tucking a wild lock of hair behind my ear. “Because you’ve certainly made mine a bit better.” A sorrowful smile tipped my lips. “Too bad it couldn’t last.”
Maybe in another life.
Knowing I needed to leave while I still had the strength to do so, I lifted my fingers to my painted lips and blew him a soft kiss.
It was one he didn’t know he’d been given, or could possibly catch, but I gifted it to him all the same.
Little did I know, it was one he’d return.
Soon.
One Hour Later
I stormed into the trap house.
With my head a complete mess and way more pissed off than usual, I slammed the door shut behind me, uncaring of who I angered in the process. It was a stupid thing to do considering some of the vile company I was forced to keep, but I hated going back to that place.
Hated. It.
If it hadn’t been for Chiquita and Little One, I would have spent every night sleeping in one of the abandoned buildings centered in downtown Toluca.
It wouldn’t have been hard for El Diablo to find me wherever I was, but as long as I paid him his nightly dues after the morning sun rose, he didn’t care where I laid my head to rest.
Nearly choking on the haze of thick smoke that filled the first floor, I moved toward the place where the kitchen had once been, long before the cabinets were torn out, and the appliances stolen.
Finding a single person in the nearly empty room, I came to an abrupt stop. A bastardo I recognized right away, my blood ran cold.
Mierda… shit.
This is so not good.
Stilettos digging into the cracked linoleum floor, I rocked back on aching heels as I eyed him, a man who acted as one of many puppets for the black-hearted devil I sought.
At the sight of me, he smiled.
I almost vomited on the spot.
Well aware of the torment he’d inflicted on some of the other girls, Jade included, I was under no illusions as to who and what he was—which was a drug-dealing rapist.
Forcing down the dread that consumed me, I stood tall, refusing to let him see the stomach-churning anxiety he caused me to feel.
If there was one thing I’d learned while living as Carlos Melendez’s prized captive for so long, it was that fear fed devils and monsters, making them seem almost invincible.
I refused to give the man across from me any more power.
He held enough already.
Mouth dry, I curled my bony fingers around the switchblade hidden deep in my coat pocket. The feel of it in my hand brought me comfort.
With the difference in our sizes and strength, fighting him off if he attacked me would be hard, but my knife would have ensured I hurt him before he took what I had no plans of offering.
My body.
“Where’s El Diablo?” I said, chin held high. “I’ve got his money.”
The puppet looked up, a salacious grin sliding into place. Hungry eyes raking over my coat-covered frame, he stood and removed the sweat-stained tee covering his hairy chest. “You want to make some more cash, mamí?”
Not a chance.
“Or is there something else you want more?” He pulled a small baggie out of his dingy grey sweats and held it up for me to see, shaking it the slightest bit. “How about this?”
Eyes locking on the powder-filled plastic, my heart raced. Knowing that with just one hit, euphoria would take over, silencing my demons, and erasing my pain, my entire body trembled.
“Come on,” he urged, licking his lower lip. “I won’t even charge you for it.”
His words were a lie.
He would charge me.
Only, instead of paying with cash, he’d expect me to hit my knees, something I wasn’t willing to do.
On threat of death, I’d been forced to share my abused body with another more times than I could count, but I’d never done so willingly, and I’d sworn to myself that would never change.
Yet, I still took a step forward.
Insides twisting from the power of the addiction holding me prisoner, my body and heart battled, each fighting a war that would leave a huge piece of me in shambles no matter the outcome.
I want it.
I need it.
Lifting a shaking hand, I reached across the table, my greedy grasp aiming for the bag just as the first tear fell and slid down my pale cheek. “I just need a hit,” I whispered, echoing the thoughts racing through my head. “Only one.”
Mind screaming at me to walk away before it was too late, my teeth gnawed my bottom lip, nearly drawing blood. The problem was, my mind wasn’t strong enough to fight what my body hungered for.
It was wrong, and I knew it was wrong, but I was still going to take what was being offered, the consequences for my actions notwithstanding.
At least, I thought I was.
Half a second away from making a colossal mistake that I’d never recover from, Ashley and Jade’s tear-streaked faces flashed through my head, one after the other, giving me the swift kick in the culo I so desperately needed.
No, no, no… I can’t do this!
They’re counting on me!
After swearing I would pull my shit together and get clean so that I could get my girls away from El Diablo, along with everything he represented, I had to be strong.
If I were going to pull an escape off, a feat that could get all three of us killed, I couldn’t keep getting high, even if it was
