Oh God, enough with the pity party. I sip my Seagrams Jamaican Me Happy wine cooler and wonder if it’ll start Jamaican me happy. I check my watch and groan. It’s only ten o’clock and Eta Pi party rules insist all sisters remain social until midnight. I stare longingly at the ornate staircase that leads to the second floor and my room wondering if anyone would even notice if snuck away.
I consider it, look around the crowded living room and deflate when I see my cousin Riley, Eta Pi President, smile shittily at me. I roll my eyes and slump back against the couch. I hadn’t noticed how close I had scooted to the edge in anticipation of making a break for it.
“Who am I kidding,” I mumble to myself. “I’m stuck here.”
I search for something to do, something more engaging than staring at my knees while wishing for time to pass. My sorority sister Meegan is holding court near the dining room, her big personality and fake smile attracts people in droves. I rub my nose, push up my glasses and wonder if that’s my problem—I don’t smile enough. I turn to a huddle of three frat guys next to me and smile as big as Meegan. One laughs, the other shrinks away, and the last smiles back awkwardly the way one would to a child who just peed her pants. I drop the act and turn back to my knees, pick at the label on my bottle, tug at the collar of my Eta Pi sweatshirt, pull off my glasses to rub my eyes, and crack my neck. I check my watch again. Only fifteen minutes later than the last time I checked. I drop my head back to rest on the couch. “Why am I here?”
No, not why am I at this party. In order to stay in Eta Pi I’m required to attend all social events.
Not even why am I in Eta Pi, that’s easy. My family insists. There is no option but to pledge my grandmother’s, mother’s, aunts, and now cousin’s sorority. It’s a prerequisite for being a Thunderbird.
What I mean is why am I on this earth? Is my sole purpose to take up space? Because that’s all I’ve been doing since I arrived at Bear State University a year and a half ago.
In that time I’ve made only two friends. This is not the college experience that was promised to me. I was told in college people would like me for me, that I no longer had to worry about not looking like every other midriff baring, wedge sandal wearing, bleached blonde beauty in Southern California. Don’t worry, Bexley, in college you’ll find your people.
But tonight is no different than the hundreds of other nights before this. I remain nothing more than a piece of furniture.
At least I have my snakes. They seem to be the only creatures that understand me. Gee, Bex, it’s no wonder you’re alone.
No shit.
Loren
The very beautiful Riley Thunderbird is splitting in two and coming in and out of focus. Her dark brown eyes split into four and morph back to a hazy two. The whole funhouse effect is making my stomach uneasy. I groan and rub my eyes, unsteady on my feet, I reopen my lids to keep upright. I’m an idiot.
I told myself not to get wasted tonight. Our last football game of the season was yesterday and me and my teammates have been hammered ever since. I made a vow before the game that I would not participate in the weekend-long binge drinking for one reason. Riley Thunderbird.
She’s the president of the Eta Pi sorority and the hottest woman in the room. She’s like if Selena Gomez and Kylie Jenner had a love child—dark hair like silk, deep pools of molten chocolate eyes, and dark pink pillows for lips. We’ve been kind of seeing each other casually for weeks now, I was hoping tonight would be the night we’d take things a little further. That’s all shot to shit now that I can hardly stay upright without the assistance of the wall at my back. And is it just me or does that damn wall keep shifting.
Even as drunk as I am, there’s a sense of urgency that tells me to get home before I embarrass myself. None of my roommates are anywhere nearby, or maybe I’m just too drunk to pick them out of all the blurry faces. I hang my arm over Riley and whisper in her ear, “Hey.”
“Oh God,” she says, struggling under my weight. “You’re a mess.”
“I know, I’m sorry.” I try to shift a little off of her, but end up throwing myself in the opposite direction and stumbling. “I need to go home.”
Her pretty lips turn into a pout and I want to bite them so I make a chomping motion with my teeth and smirk.
“Wow, yeah you do.”
“I just need to call…” It takes me too long to fish my phone from my jeans pocket, and I flip it over, backwards and upside down waiting for the screen to light up. “What the hell…”
She takes it from me, looks at it, then hands it back with amusement in her eyes. “It's dead.”
“Shiiiiiiiit.” I drop my head back and immediately regret it when I have to throw my arms out to regain my equilibrium.
“Just go crash in my room for a couple hours. I’ll see if I can find any of your roommates.” She grabs me by the shoulders and guides me toward the stairs. “I’ll send them up to get you as soon as I find one.”
Sleep, yes. That’s all I need. A catnap to sober up. I take the bannister with two hands and pull myself up the stairs to the long hallway lined with doors on both sides. I remember which door is Riley’s, we’ve spent a few nights on her bed kissing until my lips would go numb.
I push into
