“It’s your apartment now too. You can pick,” I say and shovel another forkful of rice in my mouth.
Truth is, I always spent time in front of this TV with my brother, watching movies or playing games. To watch it with Pepper now feels foreign, like I’m not the same person. This is probably the first time it’s been on in a month.
Pepper lands on a medical show—true to her word—and watches enthusiastically, making comments about everything that happens like she’s captioning the show for me. I can’t help but feel a twinge of sadness for my brother, but I also feel happy about this new development in my life. Maybe this is what I need.
“Oh, did you see that? She just made that surgery look effortless,” Pepper says, completely oblivious to the warring emotions I have going on inside my mind. “Is something wrong?”
She leans over to peer at me, her attention fully on what I’ll say instead of the TV now, and I feel a little put on the spot.
“Yeah—I mean, no, nothing is wrong. I’m okay,” I say with a shrug and get up to take my plate to the sink. “Want me to take yours?”
“Oh, no, I plan on eating another plate full,” she says, picking up a takeout container and proceeding to dump the contents onto her plate, proving to me she meant exactly what she said.
I don’t know where she puts it all.
“Is there anything else you need done tonight? I’m about to get some sleep,” I say, stopping in the entrance to the hallway that leads to our rooms.
The doors are mirror images, standing right across the hall from each other.
“Oh, so soon? Darn. No, I’m good. I’ll just wash everything up and be in my room in a jiffy. I’m very quiet,” she says with a smile.
I can’t help but think about how I want to be the one getting loud noises out of her. I resist the urge to roll my eyes at myself, and my mouth quirks up in a grin even though I try to hide it. This is going to be an interesting adjustment. I should have thought twice before I asked her to move in, but I’ve always been practical and thorough. No harm in acting rash once in my life.
“Okie dokie.” I want to clap my hand over my mouth as soon as the words leave.
Okie dokie?
I turn abruptly and walk to my room, only daring to breathe a sigh of relief once I have the door shut and my back leaning against it.
Dammit, dammit, dammit. Why have I suddenly turned into a prepubescent boy who giggles at the mere thought of a girl?
She has to think I’m crazy, just leaving suddenly like that.
Fuck.
I reach behind me and pull my shirt over my head before shucking my shorts. I stare down at myself, confused about my dick being at half-mast. I’ve only just met the girl, but attraction isn’t something that you can choose; it just is. Looks like Big Ben is attracted to our new roommate.
I reach down, taking myself in my hand, and squeeze. The feeling sends a jolt through my body, and I groan. I’m not sure if I should do this or not. Another squeeze, another groan, and then I can’t help myself.
I pump myself a few times, keeping my brain switched off, only thinking about the sensations it sends through my body—but then it happens. She happens. Worming her way into my alone time with her cute laugh and long, shiny hair. I groan, and this time, it’s not from a good feeling, but from knowing that I shouldn’t be thinking about her while I’m doing this.
Is it so wrong though? I’m obviously attracted to her.
I stare down at myself, at my hand squeezing my cock, and I pump again, giving in to my brain. An embarrassingly short time later, I’m coming, spurred on by my un-roommate-like thoughts. As I clean myself up, I war between shame at how she has me tied in knots and how I just used it to my advantage.
Maybe a cold shower will help cool me off.
4 Pepper
I realize that my spoon is suspended in the air, a clump of chicken and rice about to fall off of it and onto the carpet as I jerk back to the TV, seeing a hospital but not comprehending. My mind is with the tall, dark, and handsome guy who just made a quick getaway, leaving me sitting in the living room, wondering what just happened. I’m not dumb. I get that I shouldn’t fall for the first guy I’ve met on my new adventure here, but dang, if he’s running for the hills just after eating dinner with me, my game is not good.
I never dated much in high school. I was—my mom was—very focused on my extracurriculars and with everything I had going on. There was no way I could focus on a guy as well. So, my experience with men is next to nothing. I foolishly thought the way to flirt would be ingrained in me, like how finding a mate is ingrained in animals, but I should have realized that humans are a lot more complex.
I don’t want a relationship with Ben.
Benjamin … swoon.
I realize getting involved with a roommate can only lead to disaster. But he’s easy on the eyes, and I thought maybe I could practice my whole get to know you routine.
Oh well.
I stand up from the couch and gather the mostly empty boxes and my plate, carrying them into the kitchen to clean and throw away. I’m a neat freak, and I’m pleasantly surprised to see that Ben keeps his apartment pretty pristine. It looks like we won’t have to have any sit-down talks about cleanliness anytime soon.
I hear the shower start
