“There’s this collective energy,” she explained, “between me and the audience. This… euphoria… that takes over. And it can be super fucking intense.”
Yeah, I’d definitely felt that at her shows. Her connection to the audience, and them to her, was obvious.
“You might’ve noticed at my brother’s place… that vibe when everyone was dancing out in the night, under the trees. It’s powerful. It’s tribal. It’s intoxicating.” She shrugged. “I just want everyone to have a good time with me. Most DJs, in my experience, don’t really want to be in the spotlight like rock stars do. It’s not about you, the DJ. It’s not about your ego. My brother and I get into debates about this all the time, but at the end of the day, it’s not about your equipment or even the music. It’s about how happy you can make the crowd. It’s about that communication with the audience, the connection. And I really want to bring that to my shows as a rock musician.”
“I see that at your shows,” I told her. “Actually, I feel it. The way you want people to feel good. Everyone can feel it.”
“Good.”
“So where does that desire come from?” I asked her.
She cocked her head at me. A surprised, curious smile lit up her face. “I don’t think anyone’s ever asked me that before.”
“Maybe because as long as they’re happy, they don’t bother questioning it.”
“But you do.”
“I question everything. It’s my nature. Unfortunately.”
“That’s not a bad thing,” she said. “What would I do without you? You questioned everything you saw when you walked into my life. And maybe I needed that. Just like you said.”
Okay… So we were officially getting to that point in our relationship where we were starting to really open up—and vocalize—our appreciation of each other. She’d been saying things like that a lot lately.
I kinda loved it… even when it made me uncomfortable.
I’d decided, long ago, that I was taking a little… hiatus… from falling in love. Not that I was never gonna do it again. I’d be an idiot to make a promise like that to myself, because who the hell knew that the future held?
But I’d definitely put my heart on ice. And out of reach of the women I met.
It was a conscious choice.
I just didn’t see Summer coming. This woman who’d not only thawed me out, but set me on fire.
It was intoxicating, being admired by her. Being wanted by her.
Being with her.
But I also had years of honing my extreme self-control, my cool demeanor, my icy self-protectiveness… and it wasn’t so easy to just let it all go and openly bathe in her kind words.
“Well,” I said modestly, “if it wasn’t me, Brody and Jude would find someone else. There are other men who do what I do.”
“No,” she said firmly. “There aren’t.”
God. She was killing me.
Just take my heart, for fuck’s sake.
It’s yours.
I almost wanted to say it to her.
Instead, I looked away, at the posters on the walls. “So, did you play all these shows?”
“No. Most of them, yes. But some of these are just flyers from shows I went to that I loved, or ones where I loved the art they put on it. I wanted every inch of wall in this box to inspire me, so no matter which way I look, I like the view.”
I looked at her, and she was still looking at me.
“Did you always know you wanted to be a bodyguard?”
“No. I had an uncle who ran the company before I did. He was always a role model for me. And then he became a mentor. If it wasn’t for him… I probably would’ve ended up in the military.”
Or maybe in jail. Who the fuck knew?
“Really?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“Uh. I just can’t really see you marching in formation, taking orders.”
“Why not?”
“You’re way too alpha.”
I smirked a little. “So maybe I’d be giving the orders?”
She eyed me. “Nope. Still can’t see it. Underneath that stony exterior, you’re a free spirit, Ronan Sterling.”
“Maybe. Either way, my uncle was in the military. And he told me if I went that direction I’d be dead or destroyed before I was twenty-five.”
“Wow. That’s harsh. Though possibly true.”
“Possibly. He probably knew me better than I knew myself at that point. So, he gave me a job. Brought me into his company while I was still in high school. He showed me the ropes, taught me everything he knew.”
“What about your parents? Your dad? Was he a role model, too?”
I considered that. Not like I didn’t know the answer. I was just never sure what to say to women when they asked about my family.
It wasn’t exactly a fairytale.
But I really had no reason not to tell her the truth. It wasn’t my fault my parents were so fucked-up.
“My mom was fine with me joining the military,” I told her. “She was fine with me working for my uncle. She didn’t really have a lot to say on the subject. Or if she did, she didn’t voice it. My dad… wasn’t really the role model type. He was there, and they raised me together. If you could call it that. But I don’t remember him ever being happy. He was an electrician, but I don’t think he liked it. I don’t remember a day he didn’t come home from work with a frown on his face, and sit himself in the front of the TV. My parents had a pretty gray existence.”
“Are you an only child?”
“I am, but that was probably a good thing. I didn’t like being home. There was never much to do there, and my parents hardly spoke to each other. Except when they were fighting. I always got along better with my uncle Rob. He’s my mom’s brother. Him and his wife were like second parents to me. They never had kids of their own, but they treated me like
