“Maybe he thought you weren’t home,” she said firmly.
“Maybe. Or maybe he thought I was in bed and he was planning to let himself in. My car was in the garage. He could’ve seen it through the window.”
“Maybe you need to stop thinking about this.”
Yeah. Definitely.
Much easier said than done, though.
I didn’t want to ask myself the worst questions… Was he planning to rob me? Hurt me? Rape me?
Did he have any plan at all?
But all those questions just kept running through my mind, over and over again.
I kept reminding myself of what both Ronan and the police had told me.
He didn’t have a weapon on him.
But it didn’t make me feel much better.
In my opinion, a grown man coming through my bedroom window in the middle of the night was a weapon.
“People do crazy shit on drugs,” Elle said carefully, eyeing me with concern. “Maybe he wasn’t in his right mind. And maybe getting arrested and having a restraining order against him will be enough to scare him straight on this.”
“Maybe.” I leaned on the bar across from her as the coffee percolated, filling my kitchen with its comforting aroma. Right now, it was all about creature comforts and feeling good in my own home, which was also easier said than done. I felt like my house had been violated; like I’d been violated. Even though I knew it could’ve been so much worse.
Ronan was right. I needed security. I needed him.
Realistically, probably a long time ago.
“Fuck it,” I complained. “I just need this party. You sure you won’t come tonight?”
“I would. You know I would. But I need sleep. Seth gave me shit about that last night on the phone.”
“Really?” That was a new one. Seth never gave Elle shit.
“He’s worried about me. Emma is up so much in the night, and I’m not always napping to try to make up for it in the day.”
“Well, I like a good nap as much as the next kitten. And I don’t have a baby keeping me up. You must be tired as shit. Why are you here again?”
She laughed as I went to pour us both a coffee.
“Because I love you,” she said. “Dummy.”
“Oh, yeah.” I flashed her a brilliant smile. “So. Distract me. What’s new in the Dirty world?”
“Wish I knew. I feel so disconnected.”
“Really? But aren’t you talking to them like every other—”
My phone rang on the bar. Actually, it started playing Alien Ant Farm’s “Smooth Criminal.” Ash’s ringtone. Elle actually jumped when it started; it was jarring, as far as ringtones went.
“Jesus,” she said. “How does that not startle the shit out of you every time he calls?”
“It kinda does. I feel like it’s fitting? No conversation with Ash is ever non-startling.”
She shook her head. I danced to the song a bit, then picked up right before it cut off, putting the call on speaker. “Good afternoon! Summer’s condom emporium! Have you run out again?”
“Hey.” Ash chuckled a little. “What are you smoking today?”
“Red Carpet Kush.”
“Huh?”
“It’s a song by DJ Afterthought. What’re you smoking?”
“All kinds of shit, obviously.”
“Je-sus. What are you and Danica, like, holed up twenty-four-seven hotboxing your apartment and watching movies?”
“It’s a dream life. Hey, pay attention. I have news. Jesse Mayes just asked me to fill in for him on the Dirty tour.”
My mouth dropped open and my eyes locked with Elle’s. She sipped her coffee, cool as shit.
Which meant this was no surprise to her.
Jesse Mayes, her ex-boyfriend and bandmate, was Dirty’s lead guitarist…
“You’re playing guitar,” I said, in delighted shock, “with Dirty?”
“He’s coming off tour sometime in December for a few months,” Ash said. “You know, when Katie has the baby.”
“Shiiiit, bitch,” I said. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah. I’m fucking stoked. Jealous now?”
“No. My guitar playing is for shit, but I’m super fucking happy for you.” Ash was almost as good on guitar as he was on vocals, and he’d joined Dirty onstage before. His former band, the Penny Pushers, had toured with them for years.
But this was huge.
“Brody’s gonna talk to everyone,” he said. “Make the arrangements. But I couldn’t wait to tell you.”
“Can I tell Elle?” I grinned at her.
She rolled her eyes.
“Well, I know you’re gonna,” he said. “So go ahead.”
“I totally am.”
Silence. “Shit. Am I on speaker?”
“Hi, Ash,” Elle said.
“Jesus Christ,” he muttered. “Hey, Elle.”
“So, you’re joining my band?” she said.
“Sounds that way.”
“Well, congrats. They’re pretty cool.”
“Thanks.”
“Don’t get too comfortable,” I warned him. “June. The Players unite.”
“Like a band of superheroes,” Elle said, “but with mad musical skillz.”
“I know it,” Ash said. “Yo. Dylan’s calling. I gotta go. You guys do your… girl stuff. I’m out.”
“Later,” Elle said.
I hung up and stared at her. “‘Girl stuff’?”
She shrugged. “Get used to it. You’re the lone woman in a band of dudes now.”
“I thought that was a cool thing.”
“Cool…” she said. “Sure. Also annoying. Aggravating…”
“Great. Can’t wait.” I crossed my arms. “You knew about this already? Jesse asking Ash to fill in for him?”
“I talked to Brody last night. And Seth, of course. They said Jesse was gonna call Ash about it today.”
“Wow. I hope you know you guys’ve just made Ashley Player a very happy man. He’s been hurting since his band broke up. And I know he misses touring.”
Elle waved that off. “He deserves it. He probably has no idea how much Jesse and the guys respect him.”
“Aww,” I said.
“I’m serious. It’s not just Dylan.”
Dylan, Dirty’s drummer, was Ash’s best friend, and he’d definitely be happy about this. Elle was right, though; I knew her whole band respected Ash and probably missed him on this tour.
“Seth says Zane is stoked that Ash is coming out,” she told me. “They miss his energy. You know, Ash is always acting like such a badass, drinking his face off and pretending he’s too cool for everyone in the room. That whole ‘I don’t need any of you, I’ve got my own thing going on’ attitude he gives off. But the guys see through that. Better than I
