So I knew I wasn’t gonna do that. Not yet. I couldn’t stand to lose this yet.
Selfish.
“Can I ask you something?” she said, eying me carefully.
“Yeah.”
“What did Andre mean, when he said that stuff about you never taking another bodyguard assignment? You were supposed to be retiring your bodyguard services the night you met me?”
Thanks, Andre.
“Yeah. I was,” I admitted. Because I was hardly gonna lie to her face about it.
“Then… what happened? Why did you take this job?” She studied me with a kind of hope in her eyes… like she was waiting for me to confess that there was something between us.
That I’d felt it from the moment I met her.
Or maybe I was just imaging that’s what she wanted me to say?
I cleared my throat and tried to think of some way to explain my actions. Actions that even I was having trouble understanding.
“Like Andre said… Brody is a valued client. And when I took his call that night, and walked into your home… I could tell you needed security. There was a need there and I knew I could fill it.”
That was true, but damn, it sounded cold.
I knew it was cold, because the hope, or whatever it was in her eyes, kinda flickered out.
Maybe I’d just confirmed for her what she’d feared…
That I really didn’t want anything to do with her outside our professional relationship.
Like the asshole I was.
“Well, I’m glad you did,” she said, slowly. But she didn’t look happy. “But… Fuck, I’m just gonna say it. This is really awkward.”
Yeah. It was awkward as fuck trying to get comfortable in this seat, with a volcano brewing in my jeans, and not squirm around like my pants were on fire.
“What is?”
“I’m a bit embarrassed,” she said softly, “about crawling into bed with you in Montreal. Asking you to sleep with me.”
“Oh.”
“I don’t usually get embarrassed so easily. But ever since then… I’m having a hard time looking you in the eye.”
“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” I told her.
“Oh, yes there is.”
“My job is to keep you safe. You were safe. No need to dwell on it any more than that.”
Because if we dwelled on it right now, I’d have to think about her fingers grazing my stomach as she’d laid her arm across me in that hotel bed.
Bad idea.
Except now I was thinking it. I could practically feel it. I was covered in cold sweat. Was I glistening?
Summer studied me for a long moment.
She was right. Having her sleep in my bed at the hotel was a definite problem. Not because it happened. Because I wanted it to happen again.
And it shouldn’t happen again.
Couldn’t happen again.
Might happen again…
“I know nothing happened,” she said quietly. “But I felt… I don’t know. All kinds of things between us. Maybe it was just me.”
It wasn’t just her.
“I know you’re just here to keep me safe,” she went on. “You told me from day one that you’d basically risk your life for me, as part of your duty to your job. So sleeping in a bed with me to make me feel safe is probably not a big deal to you.” She shook her head and rubbed her fingernails down her neck, and my dick flexed.
Maybe I needed to take a cold walk outside.
Or fucking kiss her.
“I don’t know what’s with me lately. This stalker thing is so fucking unnerving.” She kinda groaned. “I mean, I had this weirdly misplaced crush on Elle’s bodyguard this year, and—”
“Flynn?” I interrupted her.
“Yeah. Flynn.” She smiled a little. “What?”
“I just can’t see you with Flynn.” Of course, I couldn’t see her with anyone.
Except me.
“I can’t either,” she said, with a short laugh. “And I keep asking myself, what is up with me? Am I really gonna let this Blair loser fuck up my life and make me jump at every little noise?”
Shit.
Now I remembered why I was such an asshole that I didn’t deserve to fuck her, even if she wasn’t my client. Because I hadn’t told her the truth.
She didn’t even know that Sanchuk was a hangaround with a criminal MC, and she sure as fuck didn’t know that we didn’t know where he was right now. That he’d suspiciously disappeared. I didn’t want to scare her, so I hadn’t told her any of that.
But it was bothering me.
I just didn’t know which way to go with the information. Just like every other thing where she was concerned, I was confused.
And I was afraid I was gradually losing control.
“I just…” She hesitated, her eyes holding mine in the dark. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. You’re doing an amazing job. And I don’t know if I’m just trying to cling onto anyone who makes me feel safe right now—”
I couldn’t stand it. I leaned in and kissed her.
My mouth crashed into hers, at the same time I grabbed her jacket and pulled her to me. She tensed with surprise, and I wasn’t even sure if she was gonna kiss me back or slap me.
She kissed me back.
And moaned.
I pressed into her as she softened, kissing her deeper, sliding my tongue into the sweet taste of her mouth. I just couldn’t fucking stand hearing her talk like that. Like any of this was somehow her fault, or she’d misread things, or she was crazy.
She wasn’t crazy.
I’d wanted her from the moment I laid eyes on her. I’d wanted her in that hotel bed last night, and when I woke up next to her this morning. And I wanted her right now.
I lapped my tongue into her mouth, and she shivered against me. I wanted to warm her up, to kiss her until she forgot everything she’d just said, because it was all bullshit. She wasn’t just clinging onto anyone.
She wanted me.
I knew she did.
“I want to make you feel more than safe,” I murmured against her lips.
She whimpered this incredible sex-kitten sound that went straight to my cock, and I kissed her again. I
