I glanced at Xander, who kinda rolled his eyes. His girlfriend, Courteney, was sitting next to him; she smiled and sipped her drink. Courteney was a pretty blonde eighteen-year-old who, despite her age, had become an integral part of our group pretty fast.
I liked my bandmates’ girlfriends, thank God.
“Don’t you all find these album release parties depressing?” I pressed.
“Fuck, yes,” Ash said as he came up for air.
“Good. I was getting worried.”
“It’s easier for him,” Xander said. “He’s going on tour with Dirty. He’s gonna get his fix in a major way. While we sit here, fucking bored, in waiting mode.”
I frowned at Ash. “I don’t think I can be friends with you anymore.”
He laughed.
I clinked my cocktail glass against his pint of beer so he’d know I was kidding. I was just feeling a tiny bit frustrated with the whole waiting game.
I wanted to be done with making music alone in my basement studio, and go into a real studio with my band. I wanted to be “in the zone” with them, and maybe with Ash, especially. I missed him and his whole chaotic, energetic vibe.
We’d gotten pretty close these last few years, in an unexpected way.
Especially since I broke up with the first serious boyfriend I’d had after our relationship ended—the coke-snorting mortgage broker—and we really started hanging out again.
But this summer, he’d been preoccupied with Danica, and we’d barely even been doing our “vortex” music listening sessions together. Every time I saw him, he was with his girlfriend.
He was in love. And I was happy for him. Danica was in love with him, clearly, and if anyone deserved that, it was Ashley, after all he’d been through in his previous relationships.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t the only one who’d ended up breaking his heart.
But I was now in a secret relationship I couldn’t yet talk about, which meant the other people at this table were gonna have to carry this conversation.
“Alright, ladies,” I told the girls, “entertain me. I need gossip from the trenches. Tell me how your relationships with these handsome men are going.”
“Gossip?” Danica’s fingers played in Ashley’s hair. I was almost surprised she’d even heard me. “What do you mean, gossip?”
Yeah, so she was over the moon about her boyfriend’s perfection, as always. No gossip there.
“Oh! I have gossip,” Courteney offered. “Xander’s suuuper annoyed that Lucas hooked up with Jordan.”
“Thanks, babe,” Xander grumbled, and took a swig of his drink.
“Lucas?” Ash said, and we all glanced over at Xander’s bodyguard, who was hanging out in a nearby corner. And was now probably wondering why we were all looking at him.
“Lucas hooked up with your assistant?” I said. “How delicious.” I looked around but I didn’t see Jordan anywhere. “Is she here tonight?”
“Yes, he did,” Xander grumbled. “And no, she isn’t. I told them I didn’t wanna see it.”
Courteney grinned, putting her arm around her man’s shoulders. “He’s a little sore about it.”
“I told him not to mess with her. Now what if they break up and she quits? I need her.”
“She’s not gonna quit,” Courteney said. “She really likes Lucas,” she added, leaning toward me. “Like, really. They’ve been going at it hot and heavy, like, every night.”
Xander downed the rest of his drink.
“I thought Jordan was a lesbian,” I said bluntly.
“So did I,” Xander said.
“She’s not,” Courteney said. “Or at least… maybe she’s into both flavors, if you know what I mean?’”
We all knew what she meant.
Xander looked at Ash—who was pretty openly bisexual—with desperate hope. “You think she’ll get bored of him, quick? Go back to the rug munching?”
“Ugh,” Danica said. “Do you have to call it that? I thought you respected Jordan a little more than that.”
“I do respect Jo,” Xander said. “And I don’t fault her tastes. I enjoy a good rug munching myself.” Courteney smacked his shoulder. “I’m just hoping Ash might assure me that Lucas could never satisfy her for long, and she’ll go back to women, no hard feelings. And my life can go back to normal.”
“How does who your assistant is fucking affect your life?” Ash inquired.
“The mental image of Lucas giving her dick affects me. It’s the stuff nightmares are made of.”
Ash snorted. “I’m sure she knows she has options. If she’s choosing your bodyguard, there’s a reason.”
“Who’s choosing Xander’s bodyguard?” Danica’s best friend, Taylor, appeared, peeling off her coat.
“Tay!” Danica leapt up off Ash’s lap to hug her friend. Then she turned and gestured at us. “You know everyone, right?”
Taylor glanced at us, and when she met my eyes, I smiled. Danica’s bestie was another pretty blonde, but where Danica was the definition of sweet, Taylor exuded effortlessly cool. She had a rock ’n’ roll vibe about her that I liked. She wore a little black dress pretty much every time I saw her, had a wrist tattoo and she was all lips and boobs, in a natural way.
“Yeah,” Taylor said, sitting down next to Ash as he poured her a glass of beer from his pitcher. “We’ve only met a thousand times now.” She raised her beer in cheers and we all toasted. “Sorry I’m late. My boss is an asshole. So, who’s choosing your bodyguard, Xander?” She sipped her beer and Xander groaned.
Clearly he’d hoped we’d moved on to other things.
“His assistant, Jordan, is screwing his bodyguard, Lucas,” Danica filled her in, settling onto Ash’s lap again. She looped her arms around his neck. “And we’re thrilled about it.”
“Actually,” Xander corrected her, “we’re not.”
“We’re just saying,” Danica said. “She probably wouldn’t fuck him unless she really liked him.”
“Great,” he muttered.
“You know, people can change. Or their desires can shift. Evolve…” Danica went on, as Ash played with her hair. “Who knows? Maybe she’s experimenting. Maybe she’s not gay at all. Or maybe she has room in her heart for all kinds of people.”
As she spoke, I studied Ashley.
Seeing him with Danica, the way he looked at her… I had the same questions in my mind that I’d
