I hid in the shadows by the entrance, staring like a creeper. He sat down next to the brunette and they watched as another guy tried to repeat the same moves. The guy leapt, just as Ian had, but his hands slipped off the hold and he ended up belly-flopping onto the mat. He ruefully got up and said something to Ian, who began pointing at the wall and miming climbing movements.
Ian had made it look so easy. I mean, no wonder, with a body like that. If only I’d waited for him in the bathroom, maybe I would’ve—
I shivered. The chill was creeping in, and it was time to move on. I had more important things to think about than who had missed out on whom.
◆◆◆
I wept into my mug. “Cassie...I don’t know what to do.” I’d just told her about getting laid off. I knew that I’d be okay for a couple of months, given that I had some savings, but I was nervous anyway. I needed a new job that paid relatively well, and landing one could definitely take longer than two months.
The thought of going back to being fully trapped...it filled me with dread. Why was it so hard to get on my own two feet, like I so badly wanted?
Cassie typed and clicked on her computer, big blue eyes narrowed in concentration as she stared at the screen. Her bright blonde hair was loose, wavy and wild, perfectly framing her soft, feminine face. She’d insisted that we should keep in touch after my visit to San Francisco, and I’d decided to try, really try, this time. We’d started doing weekly Sunday night Google Hangout calls ever since her wedding, and I was grateful to have such a good friend back in my life.
She stopped clicking. “You probably aren’t going to like this...but there’s an opening for an office admin role at Stumpstash, in the New York office. I just checked our jobs page.” The chat window chimed. She’d sent me a link.
I wept even harder. “Cassie, I can’t—I can’t work with him.”
“Shhhh, why not? Hey, he’s just a guy you hooked up with, it’s not a big deal.”
“It would be s-so embarrassing.” I wiped my tears away and clicked on the link to the job description.
When the page finished loading, my jaw dropped and I immediately stopped crying.
“$40 per hour? Is that a typo?” I skimmed the rest of the job description.
“Nope. Welcome to tech, Nana.” On screen, Cassie sat back and smiled. “Let’s be coworkers!”
“Health benefits? Three weeks vacation? What the fuck? This is what tech is like? Why did I waste so much time working for a law firm?” I thought about Ian and his bespoke suit and fancy jeans. Or the absurdly large diamond flashing on Cassie’s finger.
“Yup. You should definitely apply! I know the idea of working with Ian bothers you, Nana, but I think it’d be a great role for you. And it’ll only be awkward for a minute. Ian’s a really nice guy—he’s not going to hold it against you. He’ll probably even help you. He actually helped me get my job, too.”
I was still shocked, but the practical part of my brain started to win over the butt-hurt emotional part. I slowly nodded. “Ok. I’ll think about it. Thanks, Cass.”
“Of course! But hey, I have to go. Michael and I are going to catch a movie. Let me know if you want a referral! And if you get a chance, you should ask Ian about what the New York office is like, it might not be run the same way as the San Francisco one.”
“Alright, I’ll try. Bye, Cass. Thanks for everything.” She blew me a kiss through the screen and signed off.
I sighed and closed my laptop, then sipped my tea and considered my options.
A position like this wouldn’t be open for long. If I wanted the job, I had to act right away.
I could look around for other jobs, but I doubted that I’d find one as good, or have a friend who could refer me and help me through the process.
And $40 per hour was a lot. Plus benefits. My last job had paid less than half as much.
I could eat twice as much pizza, or go to twice as many music shows. I could afford to get a gym membership, or maybe travel more.
But...Ian.
The thought of him filled me with a myriad of feelings. Annoyance. Lust. Guilt. Regret. In retrospect, he’d really done nothing wrong. If I’d just waited for him...if we’d just finished what we’d started...maybe it would’ve been fine. More than fine, the way things had been going. A jolt of need shot through me at the memory of his warm hands and irresistible tongue on my skin, and despite the warm tea in my hands, I shivered.
We likely could have hooked up and ended things on ok terms. Instead, I’d gotten mad at him for talking to his sick mom, and then I’d completely cut him off.
It sucked to be in the wrong, especially now that I needed his help. And though I wasn’t superstitious, I couldn’t deny the fact that seeing him earlier this evening seemed like a sign.
Maybe this was my chance to get a better job and to apologize.
So what if he’d almost known me in the biblical sense?
So what if I’d ghosted him, somewhat unfairly?
I could deal with it all for $40 an hour and three weeks of vacation.
I opened my desk drawer and rummaged about until I found Ian’s business card. For some inexplicable reason, despite what had happened, I’d decided to keep it. Past-Anna was somehow always looking out for present-Anna.
His smiling face, printed on the card, seemed to mock me.
I imagined his lips curled further up into a sneer. I’d scoffed at him for being a tech bro, and yet here I was, asking to join the party.
Then I imagined his lips doing other things too. Filthy things. I shook
