Her eyes were wide, earnest and searching...her pink glossy lips only inches away.
If only she hadn’t left my apartment. If only my dad hadn’t passed away. If only I hadn’t moved. If only...
But she was there before me, in the flesh. In the moment.
I let out a slow, shaky breath, whispering her name and tracing her lips with my thumb. Her eyelids gradually lowered as I brought my face closer to hers.
Then the crowd erupted, and people began streaming towards the bigger stage, jostling us in their haste.
The Llama People had begun their set.
I slowly straightened and dropped my hand, taking a step away and shooting her a friendly smile. “Let’s go get a good spot.”
She glanced at me sideways, but didn’t say anything, just took the hand I offered and followed me into the crowd.
I didn’t want to push my luck with Anna. It was clear that we’d both changed over the months, both grown humbler and more mature. More into ourselves.
It was great that we were here, together, and on good terms again. For now, that was enough.
Chapter 25
-Anna-
My heart was pounding. Why hadn’t he kissed me? I nearly stood up on my toes to finish the job, but he’d taken my hand and pulled me into the huge crowd of people. An exquisite, comforting warmth blossomed in my chest at the familiar feel of his rough, callused hand, fingers interlaced with mine. I held on tight and refused to let go, even as we slipped between tightly-packed clusters of people, until we finally stopped just a few feet in front of the stage.
The Llama People opened their set with a fast-paced song (We Come in Fleece) and people were jumping up and down and side-to-side to the beat. We joined in with everyone else, joyfully bouncing, waving our arms and shaking our hips. The Llama People were masterful performers, and their live shows were always incredible. Letting loose and dancing my cares away to their music never failed to rejuvenate me.
They always started out with their most upbeat songs to get your heart racing, to trick you—maybe your heart is beating so fast from love, or lust, or joy. Maybe anger. All you know is that your blood is pumping, your lungs are pulling in air, and you’re more than a little alive.
And once you’ve broken a sweat, worked up a lather, they bring it down a notch. You’ve been launched into the air like a feather, but your descent back to earth is gradual, easy sailing, whimsical. A slow, satisfying exhale.
And when you finally touch the earth again, you settle into the ground...and sensations awaken, the caress of grass and soft dirt against your skin, the beautiful brush of existence. You are where you belong.
My body hummed with energy, infused by the band and the excitement of the crowd. I inhaled the ambient marijuana smoke, then breathed out fully and slowly, willing all conscious thoughts to leave my mind. And I danced, and I moved, only occasionally aware of Ian next to me when we brushed against each other. Mostly, I ignored him, and he thankfully left me alone. It was good to see him again, but I’d come to the show for me, not for him.
I closed my eyes and experienced the show to the fullest.
But when the music finally began to slow, I glanced over at Ian...and was surprised. He was losing himself as much as I was. He wasn’t staring at me or looking bored, like I was afraid of, and he hadn’t tried to get my attention or break my flow. His eyes were focused on the band, and he was smiling and dancing with feeling.
He was there for himself, too.
I placed my hand on his arm and smiled warmly at him. He grinned back, his expression one of pure, unadulterated joy. A perfect reflection of my own.
He’d found passion. And I’d found strength. We’d completed ourselves, and in some ways, each other.
Here was someone who could understand me, support me and push me, and whom I could support and push in return. Someone who could be part of the family that I’d only just begun to form.
Maybe there was a chance for us after all.
My heart soared with gladness, lightened by all of these thoughts...
...and then it dove headlong, straight into lust.
I wanted, needed the resonance between us to go deeper.
The song slowed. An electronic piano began to play, sensual and shimmering, and a gut-deep bassline threaded through the chords. Bodies paired off and swaying couples emerged from among the crowd. I met Ian’s eyes and watched his eyelids slowly lower as I positioned myself in front of him.
And instead of dancing for myself, I danced for him.
I swayed my hips from side to side, then threw him a sultry look over my shoulder, pushing my hair over the other shoulder to expose my back and neck. I raised my arms above my head like twin serpents, then slid my hands back down my chest, past the curves of my breasts, until they rested on my thighs. Keeping my knees bent, I twirled my hips in little circles, forming one bigger circle, inviting him to touch me. After a long moment, he accepted the invitation and melded his body to mine, following my ass with his hips, pressing tight against me. I could feel him growing hard, and my body vibrated at the contact. I slipped my hands up behind his neck and into his hair, holding him close as he slid his hands down my thighs until he reached my bare legs, then back up to cup my breasts. Breathing shallow, I shivered with pleasure, wanting so much more.
I turned my head up to meet his eyes. “Bathroom time?”
He laughed, louder and with more mirth than I’d ever heard him laugh before. Then he kissed me, oh so deeply, squeezing one breast with his hand and pinching my nipple through my dress, trailing his other hand
